Everyone in Japan Needs "Mad Money" - I May be Stark Raving Mad, but My Mad Money Isn't Used on Stupid Things - My Mad Money Becomes Smart Money!

"Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort." - Helen Gurley Brown  

"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." - Woody Allen

“Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value – Zero” - Voltaire 

Seriously folks. You need Mad Money and you need to use it on "Smart Money." You need to start accumulating Mad Money and changing it into Smart Money as soon as possible.


In Japan, "Mad Money" has always been called, "Ohesokuri." "Ohesokuri" is a secret savings stash of cash. "Ohesokuri" literally translates into "Mad Money." But, I think in 2012 and beyond, "Mad Money" is going to have a different meaning for people living in Japan.

That box says, "Ohesokuri" so I'm not too confident that this is a good place to hide money!

Traditionally, "Ohesokuri" is money that husbands or wives pinch from each other and secretly hideaway to use later on for whatever they want. It's a secret savings account and the money is usually hidden at home where the other partner is not likely to find it.


Psst! Don't tell anyone, but I have a Ohesokuri stash too! 


He! He! He! 


My Ohesokuri getting pretty large so that's why I want to write about it today! I love my "Mad Money" stash! I think about it all the time! When I'm not at home, I worry that my wife will find it... When I am at home, I'm worried that my wife will think I am acting weird or suspicious.

Another bad place to hide money!

I am very concerned that one night I may talk in my sleep and say something stupid like, "I love you Ohesokuri. I hope my wife doesn't find how I've hidden you in my secret safety deposit box at the bank...." Snore! SSSSyyxxxnnnnkxxx! 


I love opening up Mad money stash and looking at the bills and counting them over and over and over again! I love dreaming about what these useless bills are about to become!


"Ohesokuri" seems to be a very old term in Japanese vernacular. It doesn't seem like the sort of term that one would learn in a Japanese textbook. A drinking friend of mine taught me the term long ago. So, from him, I've known for a long time what the meaning of "Ohesokuri" was. But, until I looked it up just a few minutes ago, I didn't know how to say it exactly in English because I was unsure of the spelling. 


"Oheso" means, "navel," (and I don't mean as in "oranges." I mean as in what's in your stomach.) "Kuri," I think, means "chestnut." Separately, they might mean something different "Belly-button chestnut?!" but together, according to the dictionary, they translate into English as "Mad Money." 


I think if you said, "Mad Money" to most Americans, they wouldn't know what you meant....


I'm sure "Oheso" means "Belly button" as I seem to remember how that was explained to me... But sorry I can't be absolutely sure about what the "kuri" means because I don't know if I am spelling this term correctly...


Of course, I can't ask my wife about it as I have my own secret Mad Money stash... If I ask her to confirm the meanings of these words, she'd definitely know what's going on.... Fact of the matter is that I think she already is suspicious that I have my own Mad Money stash.  


For you see, my home is like 80% of all households in Japan. In these 80% it's the women who control the finances. So, I'm just like all these salaryman husbands you hear about: the wife controls the money... The husband lives on an allowance...


My allowance, like most Japanese husband's allowance is a joke!...

No, I think she falls into the "Sexy Japanese maid" category

So, when the women control 80% of the money, one has to wonder why it is often said that women are "second class citizens" in Japan. I think it was Amshall Rothschild who said, "Let me... control and issue a nation's money and I care not who writes the laws." Perhaps most Japanese housewives who control these pursestrings chuckle when their husbands think (or brag) that they are the king of the household. 


But my Mad Money account isn't a joke! I've saved up about ¥90,000 as of right this minute! (That's about $1,120 USD).


Now some people might think it is bad to save up this sort of Ohesokuri and Mad Money to spend on whatever I want later on, and I might agree. My friend who first taught me this term suggested that he used his money for drinking and going to establishments that offered sexual services for money. 

Bringing an entire new meaning to "open for business"

Trust that, in a huge city like Tokyo, that is open 24 hours a day, there's all sorts of guilty pleasures that a guy could spend a thousand bucks on real quick. There hostess bars, sexual services, drinking, gambling, drugs, women and, heck, you name it. You can do it here.


But, perhaps I am Stark Raving Mad but I ain't stupid.


My Mad Money isn't used as "Stupid Money." I think blowing a few thousand dollars on sex, drugs and rock and roll is really stupid... In fact I think just holding Japanese Yen is pretty mad.... Take it one step further, I think it doesn't matter if you hold yen, dollars or euros.... I think you must be mad to not convert and get your hands on all the gold you can as soon as you can.

The love of my life

Gold and silver are Real Money. They are smart money. Paper money is just paper. It is needed, for now, to buy gold and silver, so get all you can now and convert it to real money. 


That's a smart way to use your money!


My Mad Money will be used to buy gold. I think yours should be used for that too.... Now that is turning Mad money into Smart Money!...


Now, what's my wife going to think when she sees the one-ounce gold coin that I magically turn my Ohesokuri into? Bet you a $1000 dollars she won't be mad a bit... She'll be VERY happy!

Japanese Post Office Approves Licking Soft Porn Idols AKB48 on the Behind!

Now, every guy in Japan can satisfy their wettest of dreams licking the girls in AKB48 in the ass. Well, maybe not every guy, but definitely by every pervert and geek in Japan. For the most disgusting news and proof of the decline of Japan, read on.... 


In another attempt to show people the easy way shore up the flagging fortunes of business, the Japanese postal service shows everyone a novel idea in how to come out of a deep of a mountain of debt! The Japanese Post Office has announced that they've steeped to new lows and will release postage stamps with AKB48 on them. 


So now even you can lick these girls on their behinds!

Woof!

Oooh! Yeah! Makes me uncomfortable and sweaty just thinking about it. 

Kyodo News reports:

New Postage Stamp to Feature AKB48

Japan Post Network Co. is taking orders online and at post offices across the nation for stamp sheets featuring AKB48, the popular all-girl pop group, for distribution in February.

The sets feature the group's Team A, Team K and Team B versions on a made-to-order basis and cost ¥5,700 each. They include seal-type ¥50 stamps plus postcards and letter sets.

AKB48

After accepting orders online through Jan. 9 and at post offices through Jan. 6, Japan Post will send out the sets starting Feb. 1.

Japan Post said it will hold a drawing in which customers can win postcards with members' original autographs.

I remember when I was a kid, I collected stamps (until I figured out that pieces of paper had no intrinsic value and started collecting silver). This would definitely make me stop collecting stamps! I'll be all these pervert dorky Japanese guys who couldn't get a girlfriend if their life depended on it, will buy a set or ten.

Not only will these turkeys buy the sets, they will never use them and just keep them.

The post office knows this and knows they can make a bunch of money for little work. Just print up a bunch of stamps that people will want to collect for their "future value" (cough cough) and there you'll have dumb people just giving you money.

Of course, any other beautiful design idea submissions will be cheerfully "considered."

In spite of my negative reviews, I think this is a much better idea than raising taxes. If the post office has it figured out this far, makes you wonder why the government can't keep doing more things like this to pay for reconstruction after the Tohoku disaster.

I do understand that the Japanese Postal Service is "privatized" but there's gotta be a way for them to get together to work out a deal for reconstruction...

After all, this issue of AKB48 stamps proves a few things:

1) Just when you thought it would be impossible to do, Japanese music, incredibly, gets worse.

2) As a reader recently pointed out that Japanese kids are no longer interested in western culture as they no longer desire to study English, Japanese society and culture is crumbling.

3) Japan is still a rich country.

4) There's still a sucker born every minute (in this case, a "licker"?) 

Selling Their Gold? The Japanese Must Be Completely Insane!

I stumbled upon this story today from Reuters about how many Japanese people are selling their gold. It seems that, at today's high prices, they want to cash in while they can.

Because of this trend, this makes Japan a net exporter of gold for six years in a row!


Why would anyone want to sell gold (real money) in exchange for worthless paper? These people selling their gold haven't a clue as to what they are doing. 


Reuters reports in "Analysis: Japanese Cash in on Gold Price Boom":

(Reuters) - For Eriko Ebina, standing outside a downtown Tokyo medical equipment store that has a side business buying gold, the recent surge in prices for the precious metal was just too tempting.

"For more than 30 years, I kept gold jewelry mother bought for me, and with media saying prices are high, I thought I would sell them now except for a few keepsakes from her," said Ebina, in her 60s.

"I earned more than I thought they were worth. I'm not interested in buying gold."

It is sellers like Ebina who will offset surging investment into gold funds in Japan, which should make the country a net exporter for the sixth year in a row.

The assets of Mitsubishi UFJ Trust and Banking Corp's physical gold exchange traded fund (ETF), Japan's first backed by metal stored in the country, have grown by a quarter since end-July to 21.8 billion yen ($284.9 million) as of August 23.

"Investors are seriously treating our gold ETF as a legitimate asset class, just like investing in equities, bonds and currencies," said Osamu Hoshi, deputy general manager at Mitsubishi UFJ Trust.

"They see a need to diversify their assets after seeing volatile moves in currencies and stocks and others," Hoshi said.

There is a serious disconnect here. Hoshi says that people need to diversify their assets, yet they sell their gold? And what do they buy? Stocks? Bonds? Paper currency?! Oh yeah, those have done especially well over these last 20 + some years.

What do they say, "A fool and his money are soon parted."

A downgrade of the U.S. sovereign debt rating amid a deteriorating outlook for the world's largest economy, as well as a spreading European debt crisis, have triggered a rush to gold that has boosted prices by 14 percent this month.

Yeah... For people like this dumb lady who sold her gold, they need to wake up and smell the coffee...She doesn't need to sell her gold, she needs to hold on to it... For those of you who don't have any gold or silver, you need to buy it.

It's the only asset that has done well over these last ten years.