Positive Thinking: The Story of A Guy Who Defeated 4th Stage Cancer - Two Sides of the Positive/Negative Thinking Coin

Work is going terrible? Things look bad? 

You think you have it bad now? Seriously? 


Let me tell you about my friend Paul (not his real name) and how his life and death are a good lesson for us all.


Paul was a very popular and well known guy. You might say he was famous. At least in the music business in Japan, everyone knew him. Everyone in the world who knows a very famous late 80s ~ early 90s Japanese all-girl punk band  knows his work. Paul lived a fun and full fast life; fast foods, late nights, drinking and other recreational activities. Besides that, Paul was a heavy cigarette smoker for years. 


One day, out of the blue, Paul had a sore throat. The sore throat didn't go away after a few weeks so Paul went to the doctor again. There, he was diagnosed with forth stage cancer of the throat. 


The forth stage of cancer is, as you may know, the worst and final stages of the disease. Forth stage usually means that the cancer has penetrated the lymph system of the human body. The chances of survival are less than 5%... Suddenly, with all these things going on you'd think that Paul would get very depressed.


Well, he did. Like most people, Paul got very depressed. 


Soon, his condition got worse. It got a lot worse. Of course it did. It had to with an attitude like that.


Then, one day, while he was at work, we met and had a nice long talk. This was after I helped my own daughter defeat forth stage cancer. Paul believed that I could tell him why some people defeat cancer and why some people don't. 


Paul was a difficult discussion. Paul was a like a "sponge." Unconsciously, he was sucking the life and energy out of everyone he came into contact with. I could feel it. He was in a near panic that he felt he was going to die soon. Paul was grasping, searching for me, for anyone, to tell him some sort of knowledge, some sort of epiphany, some sort of magic that would make it all go away. He wanted some sort of "key" to wisdom that would answer his questions and make him healthy again. 


I told him that the knowledge I have he already knows too. I told him that he already knew what had to be done, he just hadn't realized that it was there, right in front of him, the entire time.


Paul told me that whenever he went to the doctor's office (of course it was the doctor for cancer so all the patient's there were cancer patients) he would enter the waiting room. In the waiting room everyone would be looking down. Whenever a new patient entered the room, they look up look nervously at the faces of the other patients. Everyone, he said, would be reading each other's faces and body language to try to determine who was the next one to die and who would survive. 


They were all sponges taking the life energy out of each other. It was like death row at a prison.


I asked Paul to stop this behavior immediately. I asked him to stop being a sponge. I asked him to stop absorbing the light from other people and, instead, start projecting the light. I told him that, instead of entering the doctors waiting room, nervously, like the others, enter bringing hope for everyone else. Smile and be positive. Show the others that you (Paul) are going to be one that survives. Show them the way that they can survive and, not only survive, how to thrive. 


I hate to sound corny, but John Lennon had it right; "And in the end, the love you get is equal to the love you give."


I told him to stop taking energy from others and, instead, to start giving out positive energy.


Paul also told me that he knew that if he could just convince the doctors and the nurses that he was going to recover that he would recover. I told him that he was wrong. I told him that he didn't need to convince the doctors and the nurses; he only needed to convince himself. 

I believe that ancient books, like the bible, are filled with wonderful stories that are not necessary to be taken literally, but to be understood figuratively. In the bible, when Jesus walked on water, we know that it is literally impossible to walk on water. But we know that people can do the "impossible." I think Jesus walking on water means that he accomplished what people thought was impossible... Perhaps like the Wright Brothers making a flying machine. In the bible, Jesus said, "All you need to do is to have faith."


I told Paul that it wasn't necessary for the doctors and nurses and his wife and children to believe that he was going to be cured. It was only necessary that he believed that he was going to be cured.


I told him to take the 5 tips towards winning that I mentioned yesterday. I told him that he needed to do that because he needed to train his mind to be positive for the rest of his life. He promised me he would. He did. He did it religiously, he told me. I also told him that,


"When you recover, you must remember to wake up everyday and continue with these steps to prevent the cancer from returning." This is obvious as a cancer is a physiological disorder and a positive mental attitude is necessary to stop it or keep it at bay.


Paul took my advice to heart. He started becoming positive again. He started going to the doctors office and, when the door opened and he entered, he was light a bright shining star bringing happiness and positivity to the other patients. He greeted everyone with a smile. He started creating in his heart the image and the belief that he was positive and that he was a good force and that he was actually, through his positivity and his actions, healing himself and helping others to heal.


Soon, Paul's cancer shrank and fell back into remission. He was ecstatic. His doctor was extremely pleased. 
   
The next time I met him he was a changed man. I couldn't believe how much he thanked me. But he needn't thank me. I told him nothing that he didn't already know: That faith and positive thinking and beliefs can move mountains.


But, alas, this story doesn't have a happy ending. But it does have an important lesson for everyone: Several months later, upon being given a clean bill of health, and being told that the cancer was in complete remission by the doctors, Paul returned to work and his normal lifestyle, Paul began to live as he did before...  


One day, after work, when riding his motorcycle home, he was hit at an intersection by a car and the accident severely broke his hipbone in several places. Paul had to return to the hospital where he languished. He was mentally shattered by this accident. 


I believe that Paul was so disappointed by this accident and the fact that he had to return to the hospital bed for a few months that he fell into deep depression. 


I spoke to Paul again, briefly on the phone, and he was a defeated man. He was crushed to be back into the hospital. Soon after, I'm sure to nobody's surprise, the cancer returned. Paul would die from complications from the cancer and the treatment soon after.


Like I said, there seems to be an important lesson here. When Paul became positive, he healed himself. When he became depressed, he got sick. Could the quickness of this change and how the illness returned show anything but the importance of a positive mental attitude?


A positive mental attitude is not something that you can just turn on and off like a light switch. It must be grown and it must be cultivated. 


A beautiful garden of flowers and roses does not appear overnight. It takes months of doing groundwork, shoveling, spading, planting, watering and nurturing.


Are you doing enough to nurture your soul and your positive attitude? Are you doing enough so that you can become a beacon of light?

For more read the 5 tips towards winning 

Winning at Bingo and Winning at Life Are Exactly the Same! Here's 5 Simple Tips on How to Win at Both!

Once again, last night, my son won one of the Grand Prizes at a Bingo contest at one of the big international schools here in Tokyo. It is about the eleventh time he has won one of the big prizes at bingo in the last four years. We always win. We have come to expect to win. In fact, if we don't win, it seems strange. 

Wins 11 games in four years. Grand Prize three times. Not a bad winning 

percentage. You really can do that too! 

Winning at bingo and winning at life are very, almost eerily, similar and I'd like to talk to you about that today. I think, if there is anything that I have been a massive success in my life at is that is being able to convince my children that they will win. I have shown them that the way to win is by first believing that you will win. I have even convinced - may I suggest that I brainwashed - my third daughter into believing that she would conquer "incurable" forth stage cancer. 


But before I go into theory and philosophy more, allow me to continue with telling you about the past and our "luck" and wins in all sorts of games and winning at bingo.


Last year, we won the very top prize of a vacation to Okinawa that included hotel and airfare. Last night he won a gift certificate worth several hundred dollars at a very famous store in Tokyo. Last year, he won five times out of a total of 12 games or so in one tournament. Think about that; there are seven hundred people all competing at bingo trying to win the prize. To win once is enough to bring wide smiles and cheers to anybody's face. But he won five games in one night! That must be a record. Every time my son won, people were astounded. By the forth time he won, everyone was clapping for him. By the fifth time, people were verbally shouting, "That's incredible!" "I've never heard of such a thing."


The lady sitting next to us at our table last night has worked for the organization that ran last night's bingo for thirty years. She told me that she had been coming to this event twice a year, every year, and she and her husband had never won even once!

One of my son's former teachers knows my son won at bingo again and she wrote him this note by email:


"Congratulations! I just can't believe you did it again and I'm so happy for you. I believe you went to Bingo with a purpose in mind and had your heart set on the Grand Prize.

We can all learn a lot from you."


She wrote, "We can all learn a lot from you." Indeed. We can. My son's former teacher is very much a woman who understands a positive mental attitude and what that can do for a self-fullfilling prophesy.


Now, if you've ever played bingo, then you know that winning any prize is very difficult. People play all their lives and never win a Grand Prize. But winning it several times is almost unheard of. Last night, there were probably about seven hundred people playing and yet he won. It's always that way; seven hundred to one-thousand people playing and we always win. 


But, even before my son was born, I was lucky at winning these things. My wife too. And, don't think it is just luck. There is something to be said for a positive mental attitude or, may I go on a limb here? ESP.

My family and I have won at least a dozen grand prizes and at least seven free vacations to places all around the world.


But this is not a blog to brag to you about how lucky I am or we are. It is a blog to tell you how you can become this way. It's a blog post to tell you how you can start winning. Because, believe it or not, folks, winning at bingo and winning at life are EXACTLY the same thing. 


Winning is easy! It is easy, actually... Well, let me say that it should be easy... And people need to understand what "Winning" actually is. For most people, with a confused idea as to the definition of "Winning," it's "easier said than done." And you know why? Because most people are so negative and defeatist all the time. People are their own worst enemy. 


Think back to your school days. Think back to that guy or girl you remember that you envied. You thought they had everything didn't you? They always won. They were the best looking, they had the nicest car; they were popular, they always won at everything. They became class king or class queen. They had the coolest parents, the most beautiful girlfriend or boyfriend. They were truly lucky. You wanted to be like them.* 

My high school class king & queen

Well, I hate sounding like a salesman, because I'm not selling you anything, but I'm here to tell you right now you can become one of those lucky people. Read on.


There are two really important things that you need to understand about becoming one of these lucky people. One is understanding what exactly it is that we are doing and its purpose in our life; and the second part is how these things affect your entire belief system. These two go hand in hand. 


The first part about understanding what it is that we are doing is, perhaps, the most important part. Today, we're using bingo as an example, so let's go with that. Think about this; is winning at bingo the best part of going to bingo? Is winning everything? I don't think so.


At bingo, I meet friends and other parents and always smile and shake their hands and say, "Hi!" We are all at bingo so, of course, the subject quickly turns to bingo. I always try to be extremely positive and say, "I always win!" They laugh. They don't believe me (the ones who knows us well don't laugh). Invariably, they all say the same thing,


"I never win." They say this with a voice of exasperation and defeat. Poor folks. They are totally and completely missing the point. They are really missing the boat in the bad lesson that they are unknowingly teaching their children subconsciously. Get this: I suggest to you that they are teaching their children defeatism and a losing attitude. 


I can imagine this family in my head; after "losing" at bingo (I mean they don't win a "prize"), they hop in the car and go home. Dad and mom and kids are sad because they "didn't win." When they get into the house, dad takes off his coat and gives out a very loud sigh. "We lost again!" He says.


Is that any way to teach your children how to win? Is that anyway to teach your children how to be positive?  


Here is what I always tell my son before we play bingo;


"Remember the best part of bingo is not in the winning, it is in the doing. Just being able to be here playing bingo is winning. This is fun and it is a wonderfully exciting time we spend together. Just by being here, we have already won. So smile and have fun!" 


It is. Playing bingo with my wife and son is a great memory and it is fun. 


I tell my son this because I want him to be a winner. I want him to understand what "being a winner" truly is. This sort of thinking, this positive attitude, actually, I learned from an old Zen Buddhist saying,


"The joy is in the action, not in the result."


Can you understand this concept? The joy is in the action, not the result. Get it? I think people who truly love to paint or fish or golf, etc., can understand this. For the painter, a beautiful work is nice, but the true value and joy is not the finished painting, it is in the action of painting. For the fisherman, of course catching a fish is fun, but the true joy is standing there alone in front of nature and contemplating life - the joy is in the doing; for the golfer, the winning score is interesting, but soon forgotten; the real joy is in the day and the time considering the play. For all of them, the real value is in the action, not in the result. 


This is what is meant by, "The joy is in the action, not in the result."

The joy is in the action, not in the result.

Now, do you understand why, whether or not my son wins a big prize, he knows, he believes and knows in his heart that he is a true winner? Can anyone deny that, regardless of prize, that we won merely by being able to go and play together and enjoy this moment together on our short time on this earth? 


Some people will scoff at this (they have a losing attitude). But let me ask you to consider this question: There are two children. They both have to go to school. One wakes up in the morning and says, "I don't want to go to school. School is no fun." The other wakes up and says, "I want to go to school. School is fun." Which kid gets good grades at school? Which kid becomes successful at school? Which kid is positive, is popular, gets the best girlfriend or boyfriend and becomes class king or class queen?


Simple, isn't it? It is the old chicken and the egg problem. Which came first? The kid liking school or the positive attitude? Which came first? Hating school or the negative attitude? And how did these children get these attitudes?


How do these attitudes affect our belief system? How can we change these attitudes? And, if we have children, how can we stop teaching them bad attitudes and start teaching them beneficial ones?


I think it is obvious how these attitudes affect our belief system. In the example above, do you want to be like the father above who comes home exasperated and continually expressed doubt and a defeatist attitude to himself or his children, or, do you want to be the person who understands that the joy is in the action and not the result?


Think about that: The family who thinks they "lost;" They just spent a wonderful time together, probably a rare time together, and they are so focused on winning some "stuff," (usually junk) that they fail to see the true value of what they have just done and they fail to see that just by being alive and being together that they've won the greatest prize of all!


I see this with people I meet everyday. They are worried about their job and the economy. They fear for the future. Almost everyone I see is this way nowadays.


But consider this, my friends; you are still here. I would wager a donut that you have had these fears and worries on and off for the last 5 to 10 years; "Will I have a job?" "What am I going to do?" "How will I survive?" With all of these worries what you are actually saying is, "How can I win?" Or, perhaps, "I never win."


Guess what? Thinking like that you probably won't ever win at bingo, and I'll bet you'll never win at life either...


Today, many of my friends and many people are worried about their life and the future. It is natural to worry. I do it too! But I fight it. You should, you must, fight it too. Worrying, like saying "I never win at bingo," is creating a self-fulfilling prophesy. Stop it right now. If you say, "I never win," you won't win.


You need to start saying that you are winning (not "I'm going to win." You must say, "I am winning." In the present tense). Saying first. Repeating. This will start and plant the seeds of belief. When you believe, really believe, you can move mountains.  

From today, here's five things that you need to do to start on the track to believing that you can win at bingo and win at life:


1) Write down on three pieces of paper the saying, "The joy is in the action, not in the result." Tape one of the pieces of paper to the refrigerator and tape one in your car where you see it constantly and the last one in your wallet. Think about that phrase a lot. Repeat it out loud whenever or wherever you can.


2) Get a dollar notebook and start writing down your top 10 goals for your life and do it everyday! Here's how.


3) Wake up in the morning and the first thing you MUST do is think: "Smile! Today is going to be a great day!" If you can't remember to do this by yourself, then write it in large red letters on a piece of paper and tape it to your bathroom mirror.


4) Start using the Law of Attraction and positivity to create a good self-fulling prophesy to help you. Here's how. 


5) Start greeting everyone you meet with a happy and healthy "Hello!" or "Good Morning!" Stop sounding like you are dead to the world. If you greet people with an un-energetic salutation then you sound like you are losing. Stop it immediately. Everyone is searching for positive people. You should be that person. Instead of being "dark" and absorbing light like a sponge, you should give out light. People are attracted to light.


And, number six, OK, I said there'd be five, so sue me...


6) Call your mom or dad or kids and tell them you love them. Or, better yet, give them a great big hug and realize that today is a fantastic day and you all are the luckiest people in the world... Oh, and of you do go to bingo, take grandma... She's lucky, right? 


Some people read this and think that I am a very lucky person. I am. But I've been through two divorces, a war with cancer, in drug rehab, family members dying in bizarre car accidents, worrying about work as we all do (nothing special)... I've been through a lot of difficult times... But you know what? I never forget something special; I know that projecting negativity will just make things worse; I know that projecting positivity, in the face of great challenges, is creating a good outcome for myself and my loved ones through the power of the Law of Attraction. I know that, by being happy and thankful that I create a better situation for you and a better situation for myself.


Remember my friends, "The joy is in the action, not in the result."


Stay happy. Stay positive. Spread positivity. You already possess the greatest prize of all.




* Did you know that those people you envied in high school who you thought were truly lucky had parents that went through a terrible divorce or a parent who died when they were young? Or they had a sibling who was terribly handicapped? Or they had a younger brother or sister who died at birth? The difference between these people and negative people? These people didn't allow these things to create dark clouds on their horizons. They took the challenges and learned from them and those challenges helped them to grow into better, more positive, more loving people.... Think about it. Everything happens for a reason. Look for the positive and you'll find it - or create it yourself.


For my friends: Dale Yost, Naomi Yamada, Allison Sayne, Jp Valentine, Keith Cahoon, Julie Rogers, Sheena Rogers, George Williams, George Chumly Cockle, Takatoshi Uchiyama