Just for Laughs in Japan? Funny Videos That You'd Watch?

I told my dear friend, George Williams over at the www.georgewilliams.jp website to introduce the Just for Laugh website to the Japanese public. I hope he does but am not sure that he will... I would do it but this blog is about Japan, Media and Marketing so I'd like to keep it that way, even though I often variate off course.

Nevertheless, I thought about making my own "Just for Laughs" Japan style as I do own a TV and radio production company and do make videos..... Hmmmm? Maybe it's a nice idea for a hobby! It would have to be a hobby as I can't see how to make money doing it.


Here's three funny videos that fit the the "Just for Laughs" format that I thought you'd enjoy!


I like them. What do you think? 

What do you think? Should I try to do this in Japan? Can I make an interesting show that you'd watch?

How to Make Six Figures a Year From Your Linkedin Account - Linkedin Needs More Truth in Advertising - My Linkedin Page is a Big Joke

I have a Linkedin page. I like Linkedin. It's OK, I guess.... Well, sort of. Well, come to think of it. No, I don't. I don't like Linkedin... But read on, this post is about how to earn six-figures from your Linkedin page... 

My Linkedin bio photo

Do you know what Linkedin is? Linkedin is a great place where you can connect with people you don't know or care about and brag about stuff that doesn't really matter. It's kind of like going to a high school reunion where everyone who thought they were hot stuff in school tries to impress everyone else that they are still hot stuff even though they now work part-time as a plumber or are on food stamps!


Heck, nothing wrong with food stamps! Join the crowd! I just got my Obamacard today so I get food stamps too! Hey Linkedin, where do we enter that sort of information on our biographies?

Once again, Mr. Obama has his figures all wrong... It's nearly 46 million strong!

I use my Linkedin page as a deadly-serious sandbox and playground for my twisted humor. I put some serious stuff but mostly all sorts of funny comments and that silly photo on my Linkedin bio. One of my friends saw it and said, 


"Mike! You'll never get headhunted with that photo you have with that stupid brown wig on!"


I was offended. I thought I looked impishly handsome. I replied,


"Really? So you think I should have worn the purple wig or the metallic blue one or my platinum blond wig instead?"

See? I really do have all a platinum blond wig and a blue and purple one too!

Maybe the wig is why I have never had anyone call me even once for a job interview after seeing my Linkedin bio!



Speaking of that, I been wondering exactly what the purpose of Linkedin is anyway? I mean, if it is a site to look for a job then that's cool, but what's the point of posting your bio on Linkedin if the only other people who are going to see it are also out of a job and looking for one too? 


Isn't that a contradiction? It's so confusing. 


The best thing about Linkedin is that Linkedin shares are down from IPO almost as much as Groupon shares are! Come on Linkedin! You can do it!

If Linkedin would clarify why we're here, kind of like 

Facebook does, that would clear a lot of confusion.  

Is Linkedin merely a place for unemployed men to be bragging to other unemployed men? Not hardly.

The truth is that Linkedin was designed for the gainfully employed to show their old high school girlfriend (who savagely dumped them just before the big year-end dance) that she made a mistake that she'll always regret because you - and only you - were the one who really loved her most (that b*tch!) When you understand that, then Linkedin makes sense. 

That's why you rarely see girls on Linkedin. They don't go there because they can't really figure out what the point is either (remember they were the ones doing the dumping). Did you know that, by my latest calculations that guys on Linkedin outnumber women by over 25 to 1!!! 

That'll show her!

Women can turn it on and off like a faucet... Guys can't. Because so many guys are pissed at old girlfriends that explains why guys who aren't looking for jobs put up braggadocio and their profiles and bio on Linkedin. They do it to show the world (and that b*tch) that they screwed up big time messing with number 1!!!* 


I think Linkedin should have a "reality recommendations" part and, instead of just positive recommendations, it should also have a "condemnations" and "personal attacks" place where real comments about your shady character can be added. Stuff that can't be blocked by the page owner. Real opinions on your work quality and ethics (or lack thereof) like these from your former employers:


"So and so worked here for six months and things went fine until we began to notice huge amounts of toilet paper missing from the restrooms and forks, knives and spoons missing from the employee cafeteria." - Manager


Or, remember your very first job? Working at your dad's company?


"So and so was a totally worthless pile of crap employee. He was the worst putrefying heap of overblown bovine excrement imaginable. All his life he's been useless. Totally night and day difference between him and his extremely successful older brother." - Your father

Now that's what we need! Ask any marketing expert and he'll agree with me! What we need is more truth in advertising! 


Oh? What? Oh yeah...How to make six figures from your Linkedin account? That's right. I almost forgot! Anyone out there know? Because, hell, I haven't a clue... I can't even get anyone to call me for a job interview!


*Don't look now, dude, but she actually married a guy who makes more in a month than you make in a year! He's so rich he ain't even on Linkedin!




Inspired by Jonathan Clemons and Roger Marshall


Thanks for the silly images. Check out my new favorite blog site: The People's Cube. It's kind of like the Onion for Socialists... Pretty funny satire... Especially if you are twisted enough to put a funny photo of yourself on Linkedin.

It Takes a Long Time to Build Trust - It Takes One Action to Destroy That Trust

"I cannot trust a man to control others who cannot control himself" - Robert E. Lee


"People ask me why it's so hard to trust people. I ask them why it's so hard to keep a promise." - Unknown


"It takes a long time to build trust. It takes one action to destroy that trust."


Are you helping yourself and your business by being a dependable, trustworthy person? Or are you making the consistent mistake of changing your mind and, more importantly, what you say, and what you tell people, for the goal of obtaining short-term profits? Or, as the old saying goes, are you tripping over the quarter to pick up the penny?

Are you building the image of a person that the people around you can trust to do what they say they will do, when they say they will do it, on time, every time? Are you working everyday to build that trust amongst your coworkers, clients, business partners and customers so that they know, that you are a 100% trustworthy person who they can depend on and, in the case of your coworkers and partners will work for and follow through thick and thin?


If you are not doing that, you are making a big mistake and you are damaging your business chances of success on the long term.


I work with a guy whom I trusted and worked hard with for ten years. Oh sure, sometimes we get into disagreements on how our business should be run, but, ultimately we are heading for the same destination so sometimes there will be differences on how to get to the goal. That's okay. As long as we are going to the same place, then it's okay to argue on how to get there; maybe he wants to take the train and I want to take the bus.


Recently though, we have been getting into disagreements because he keeps making promises to people and breaking them. I wince when this happens. In the life of a business, it's okay for a company to test the waters and see how things and new business plans float. Sometimes, perhaps even often, it's okay to stop in mid-stream and cancel projects or even completely change the direction of the company. But I don't think it is okay to make promises to people that you are going to "do this" or "do that" on Monday then, on Tuesday, tell them that you won't do what you promised.


Like I said, businesses change. It's okay to change and change your mind. Breaking promises is something that happens sometimes, but breaking promises to different people once a week or everyday is completely out of line and way over-board.


I had to have a polite word with him about it yesterday. It was a good talk.


One day, about one month ago, the boss of another famous company in Japan called me up. His business had dropped 30% over this last 12 months. He told me that he needed to do something and he wanted me to come up with a new promotion plan for his new service which was starting up in 2.5 months. He wanted me to do it because he said he knows my reputation and he needed a "quick to react" plan. That's what I excel at. Within a week of his asking, I had spoken to several of my trusted people in my buzz marketing network and arranged a comprehensive plan that ran for 6 months starting within 3 weeks! I presented it to him and he said he loved it and wanted to do it for certain.


He also told me that he needed to clear it with his staff but it shouldn't be a problem. That was a Friday. He promised me that he'd call me back that next Monday. He didn't call back. The next day, Tuesday, I sent him an email since time was critical. There was no reply. I also sent an email on Wednesday and Friday, still, no answer. The next week, I called him up and spoke with him on the phone and he said the staff were all right and he wanted to talk with the local government organization for the promotion. I stressed, once again, that we were losing valuable time. He said he understood and he promised me he'd call me back that evening. 


He didn't call.


The same thing the following week. Finally, three weeks after the first meeting, I spoke with him on the phone on a Monday. He profusely apologized for not getting back to me and then he said, "I am keen to go on these plans. I'll definitely get back to you Wednesday, Thursday at the latest."


He didn't call me back again! That's 3 times he promised to call me back and didn't. 


Now, I know everyone is busy, but too busy to pick up the phone and make a 20 second phone call? I don't believe that. 


Now some people will say, "Maybe he just can't say 'No!'" but this is a foreigner we're talking about. Not a Japanese. So saying, "No!" shouldn't be a problem. 


The plan I came up with was contingent on a few other parties getting involved. It was an organic buzz marketing solution. This means that there are two or three other companies or entities that tie up for the promotions and create a synergy to promote an entire concept to a much wider audience than if the promotion was ran by just one company.


In some of the pieces of the promotion, I talked to two of the most famous companies in Japan to become partners with this initial company that contacted me ran by this foreigner. These other two companies are huge organizations and we have done several organic, buzz marketing promotions together over these last 4 years. They completely trust me and I trust them.


They know that I am going to do what I say I will do. I know they will reciprocate; they will always do what they say they are going to do. That's how you build trust. That's why we enjoy working together.


This foreign boss who can't even call people back when he says that he's going to call? I didn't tell him to call on "Wednesday, or Thursday night at the latest" he volunteered that by himself.


Is this person trustworthy? Do I want to allow this sort of person into my trusted network of folks who work in organic and buzz marketing? Do I feel confident that this person won't piss off my other partners? Would you, dear reader, trust this person and introduce him to your trusted partners? 


No way. I don't think so.


I gave this guy a chance and tried to trust him, but now I can't. I don't want to work with him. I can't. 


I now understand why his business is down 30% over the last year. No surprise there. Does it surprise you? 


I also know that he is going to call me and, at the last minute, ask me to arrange the promotions, but I am going to have to decline. I can't depend on this guy not to make me look bad to people whom I've worked with and built a reputation of trust. I've mentioned before that sometimes the jobs you reject are just as important as the jobs you keep. Heck, if we're not going to do great work, then I don't want to do it. 

Incredibly, the "Untrustworthy meter" does go to minus eleven

Like I said, 


"It takes a long time to build trust. It takes one action to destroy that trust."


This guy has committed three of those "one actions." I can't trust him. I mean, would you?


Don't be like this guy. Build trust.


It's hard to measure the value of trust in a relationship but we know the cost of losing it.

Giving Away Things For Free is the Best Promotion and a Key to Making Money

Yesterday, I went to the barber for my once-every-six-months haircut. As I was talking to the girl who cut my hair, I was amazed that here was this 25-year-old woman, cutting hair, who understood more about the Internet and the new media than 90% of the company executives - especially at big media - that I meet. Perhaps it is because she was young that she can easily grasp simple concepts.

The first simple concept is that giving things away for free is the future of marketing and advertising. We see successful companies and people around us doing that all the time, but far too many organizations cannot make the logical connection in their heads and make the jump to that end in order to help their own company.


Giving away useful items or content for free is the best (and cheapest) form of promotion you could possibly get. When she had finished cutting my hair she gave me a freebie. It was a plastic business card carrying case that had her hair salons name imprinted on the top. Every time during the day that I give out a business card I see that name. Now, many people would think, "I wouldn't be caught dead with a plastic business card holder that had some other company name on it!" But not me. I find it wonderfully useful and smart.

Simple, cheap, effective. I look at it several times a day.

I went to a meeting at a huge television content, DVD sales, marketing and distribution company yesterday. I showed it to them. They were marveled at the simplicity and low-cost (and effectiveness) of this promotional concept (I mean, once I explained the logic).


Most company executives cannot get their heads around the concept of giving things away for free in order to make more money. But think about what I have always said, "Google is one of the most profitable companies in the entire world today and they give away everything for free! Now, how do they do that?"


Google is one of the most profitable companies in the world, right? So why don't you and your company emulate them?


I often go to TV stations (alas, they are all sinking ships!) and ask them why they don't monetize their web pages. Every single major broadcasting station in Japan still has a web page that looks like it was designed in 1999; it is just a digitized company brochure.


I have to explain to them the concept of Web 1.0: Digital brochure; Web 2.0 using blogging and two-way communication with bloggers and users; Web 3.0 user generated content like Facebook or Twitter.


Web 1.0 was popular between 1999~2003. From 2003, smart companies started instituting Web 2.0. From 2005~2006 very smart companies started instituting Web 3.0.


Today's major broadcasters in Japan? ALL of them are still using Web 1.0 concepts. They are losing money on their web pages. Seriously, it's all I can do to stop crying (or laughing).


Think about that Google quote again, folks; "Google is one of the most profitable companies in the entire world today and they give away everything for free!" Can you imagine for a second the massive advantage a TV station in Japan has over Google? Google didn't have a broadcasting arm that they can use that is already in the homes of over 130,000,000 people! The TV stations did! They do! But they don't use that to their advantage!


It is even more ridiculous when you consider that the initial phase of designing something like the basic Twitter platform probably cost in the neighborhood of $150,000 ~ $200,000 (USD) but to make and produce a 30 minute TV show for 6 months costs about $400,000! 


It is even more ridiculous when you realize that almost every old TV station  person you talk to thinks that if they give away free content on their webpage, no one will watch their TV shows anymore. Talk about not seeing the forest because of the trees! What in the hell are these TV people thinking about?


The real question could be, "Do these mass media people really understand the market as much as they like to claim they do?" I don't think so.


Here's a good example of a TV station (in the USA of course) that understands what I'm talking about and now 1/3 of their profits are derived from the Internet: http://espn.go.com/


The major broadcasters and media in Japan refuse to entertain the idea that their web pages can become a profit vehicle. They know their businesses are dying but they insist that, "We are a TV station" or "We are a magazine"... Why don't they realize that they are "media" and "consultation" to provide sponsors what the sponsors want to buy?


When, oh when, will these people open their eyes?


But I digress....


The other interesting thing this hair-stylist told me about was that she and her friends have come to stop looking at the very top results of a Google search. Why? Because everyone and their sister have figured out it's a paid advertisement at the top that's been highlighted and no one believes in paid advertising anymore!


I thought that was very telling about the way young people think and perceive. It was the same for us long ago with the Yellow Pages, right (remember them)? We knew that the paid ads were not from the best services or products but from the ones that had big budgets. Everyone knows that big budgets do not necessarily equal good products... Just look at General Motors cars for evidence of that!


As an aside, here's a funny example. Below is a screen capture of a Google search for "London Flight":

CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VIEW

At the top of the page you'll see a paid ad for British Airways, Air France and Lufthansa. These paid ads cost about $15,000 (USD) a month (maybe more) average. British Airways pays more as they are at the top. Everyone who sees this page knows that those top three are not the cheapest, nor necessarily the best flights or deals... In fact, since they are paid ads, they are viewed with, for lack of a better term, suspicion by most people. People have become smart enough and sophisticated enough in 2012 to recognize that those top three are paid advertising. People today, no longer look at those. They will look lower down the page, to the top 5 or so after the paid ads.

In this case, who do we see? www.cheapflights.co.uk. Guess what? Cheap flights shows me that they are most probably the cheapest and best deal: they didn't spend a penny to get the true #1 rankings on a Google search! I won't tell you how they do this (I know - and you can find that information in this blog in many places as I have written about it extensively before)... But you can bet that a company, like British Airways that is spending, in Japan alone, a few hundred thousand dollars on this sort of advertising cannot be cheap (nor smart?)....

Oh, but you say, "What about people who want better service or flights?" Folks, don't misunderstand. I'd wager a donut that cheap flights also offers those and I'd like to point out that British Airways does not need to advertise to their existing customer base. Advertising to a new customer base and getting new customer is the Holy Grail and entire point of advertising.

Bad marketing campaign's don't only happen in real world

Oh, but I've gotten off the point here again. The point is giving things away for free in order to get new customers. Think about that. How many, especially Internet, companies offer free services then, once someone likes the product or service, the upgrade costs a bit of money and membership?

Aha! Those are everywhere! That's right. Google does that; Linkedin does that; there are too many to name.

Find a way, THINK of a way to give away free content and product or service in order to gain new customers. Actually make an effort with your team in doing that today! Get out of the old fashioned mold and the old fashioned way of doing things.

Find that FREE! and you might be finding a goldmine! 

Thanks to Ed Jones for the FREE blazing sun red with glitter Gibson air guitar! I will always cherish it, Ed!

Personal Blog Passes 1 Million Page Views in 1.6 Years

Thanks to everyone. Thank you so much!


By the time I post this article, this blog will have surpassed 1 million page views in 1.6 years. That's pretty awesome if I say so myself. That may not be the record but it must be pretty close for a guy who just started blogging with no fame or corporate backing to help him out. Thanks so much to everyone. I could never have done it without you all.

Major companies can get a million page views, they have status and name-value. But for a personal blog on a very niche subject like mine (Japan, marketing and media - and in English no less), that is an incredible number. I have asked a few Internet expert friends about it and they told me that it was "amazing." I like to think so.


When it comes to blogging about Japan in English, I would venture to guess that there may not be another 3 or 4 personal blogs in the entire world that have surpassed 1 million views! It is especially rare when you consider that I never blog at all about gadgetry or gaming. (I do know that there was a very excellent ramen one that I passed by one time that did have more than a million views and I've looked for it to show you, but couldn't find it.)


I like blogging. But there is frustration... Well, I should say that blogging, in and of itself, doesn't frustrate me that much but when I am asked for marketing advice (mostly buzz marketing of which blogging is an integral component), the frustration comes in when people (especially corporate types) - just don't seem to understand... They give lip service to blogging and her sister "Organic Marketing", but when push comes to shove, they just don't "get it." They invariably will go back to old ways and pay money to have their paid advertising show their company at the top of a Google search result...


Oh hopelessly lost souls!



You've really got to stop and wonder why in the year 2012, when the Internet is so integral to our lives and thing like, say, Facebook has over 750 users that most corporations have a Marketing section whereby not a single one of them blog... 44% of Japanese companies don't even use Social Media... And those that do, do it poorly... Alas...

These sorts make great bloggers.

Blogging is like being a mad scientist in a laboratory: You are basically on your own trying out different subjects, titles, word combinations, file namings for images, tags and keywords to see what gets good results. There really isn't any textbook for doing this. The closest thing is David Meerman Scott's New Rules of Marketing and PR but that's already nearly five years old! And, in the life of the Internet, five years is ancient history! (By the way, David Meerman Scott and I have corresponded and he greatly encouraged me to start this very blog!)


Here's some of the great things I've learned through blogging over this last year:


1) How to get #1 rankings on a Google search without paying any money


2) How to do the same for images that will lead to your website without paying any money


3) Credibility is very hard to get, it is nearly impossible to buy. Blogging and Organic Marketing are truly credible methods to get the message out.


4) Merely by blogging and experimenting, you will understand more than 98% of all people - even Internet engineers - how marketing works (or doesn't work) on the Internet.

Blogging is a study experience for me. I do this to learn new techinques. Things are always changing the only way to do it is to, well, do it. Like I said, this blog is like my laboratory and I am the mad scientist. I've gotten pretty good at figuring out how this all works... But, I must admit, one thing doesn't change: In Japan, sex and cute sell. 


It frustrates the beans out of me when I write something that I think is really good and intellectually fulfilling, yet it gets few reads; but when I write something with lots of photos of sexy Japanese girls, it will get thousands of reads... Er, maybe i should say, "views" from all over the world. 


But, even that is a learning experience because I know how to take the exact same content and get a few hundred views or get 100,000 views. There is a method to the madness!  


The things that make me happy the most about blogging is getting nice mail and intelligent comments, even if they disagree, and meeting new people. 


Blogging can be exhausting, but it can also be rewarding. Through writing, I think I help myself to become a better person as writing is excellent therapy for the soul. In that way, I suppose, it wouldn't have mattered if I had never even reached 100 readers.


As an old Zen Buddhist saying goes about charcoal ink painting: "The valuable thing is the moment of painting, not the the final picture."


Absolutely the same can be said about blogging.


My next goal is to hit 2 million page views in January 2013. Thank you so very much for your visiting this blog sometimes. I do sincerely appreciate your time and most kind consideration.

NOTE: Finally, please allow me to indulge myself in this self-congratulatory message and to thank my friends who helped me to get here: First off, my friend, Lew Rockwell, who gave me my very first break in blogging in 2004; Koji Kamibayashi "Nihon wo Genki ni Shitai;" My friend Mish Shedlock over at the Global Trend Economic Analysis Blog; Yuka Rogers "Official Blog," David Meerman Scott, Tim Williams,  Jimbo "Jimbo's Japan," Andrew Joseph "It's a Wonderful Rife," Ryu Oni "Monkeyman in Japan," and so many others (especially bloggers) who have come and gone over these last 20 months. Oh and I have to thank Seth Godin for his great books and the one he autographed for me!

Finally, to my friends and to those who are thinking about blogging; Most bloggers don't last more than 2 ~ 3 months. It gets frustrating. You write your heart out and then only three people read what you wrote. In the first two months of this blog, in my archives, I have many tips on how to get more page views, if you are thinking about blogging, or want to know how to get more views, perhaps you can find something useful there. I hope so.

Or, you can do it for yourself... That, my friends, is where, I think, you'll find the real rewards.

Once again, thank you to everyone!

Keywords: page views, buzz, organic, buzz marketing, 1 Million Page Views, therapy, 1,000,000, hits, reward, page views, Japan blog, amazing, incredible, marketing, Mike in Tokyo Rogers, personal blog, blog, blogging,   

Organic Marketing: The Future of Advertising

The old order of marketing and advertising is falling by the wayside. The future of advertising is not tomorrow, it was a few years back. And if your company is not on it now, you are way behind the curve.

There are examples all around us of the new way to advertise. Some big (and fashionable and cool) companies are doing it. They are laying the foundations and showing everyone how it is done... Let me repeat that: They are showing everyone how it is done! Yet 95% of the companies see it but do not copy or follow or, well, maybe they "just don't 'get it.'"


These businesses are like dinosaurs. I reckon that when that huge-a*sed asteroid hit the earth several millions of years ago, the brontosaurus were standing there and, weeks and months, after the temperature had dropped dangerously low, they began to think, "Gee... It's getting awfully cold..."


Do you think the dinosaurs thought, "Maybe I'd better move to where it is warmer?" Nah. They didn't. It may or may not have helped. But certainly standing there and doing nothing, or doing the same thing they had always done, wasn't a good option.


My God! If I had a few dollars for every company I see everyday standing, there doing nothing, or doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, I'd be a millionaire! (Maybe only a million yen because I hate going outside too much, but you get the idea!)


The old way of advertising:


Talk to people in suits and give them money. They run a full-page advert in a newspaper. It says, "That's a great place to eat steak. It is soooo delicious!" Cost of this advertising: $5000.00 or more.


Joe Happoshu sees the ad. You see the ad. Do you go there? Nope. Why? No one believes this sort of advertising anymore. 


The new way of advertising: 


Your friend at the office says to you one day, "Say! Have you tried that new steakhouse on the corner? It's really good." Do you go there? Yes. you do. Why? Because you believe your friend. Cost of this advertising: Zero.


There's an old saying: "Credibility is very hard to get. It is even harder to buy."


So why does your company continually try to buy credibility?


The new way of marketing is to build a reputation by using organic methods to spread the word of mouth. Organic means that we tie up other companies with yours and make a mutually beneficial marketing program that is very low cost and gets the word of mouth buzzing. It must be organic; it must make sense to the public... People interested in one aspect of the marketing will be drawn to another if we fit the pieces of the puzzle together correctly. And bloggers (that people like your friend in the office read) write about you.


Sure, sure... Your company and staff (and your advertising agency) pay lip service to blogging and Web 2.0 and 3.0, but if you were to actually sit them down and explain to you a concept like Web 3.0 I'd wager a donut that they can't do it and I'd wager a year's worth of donuts that they DON'T do it. 


The problem with most Japanese companies is their advertising people are so stuck with the old way of doing things, they just can't get their head around concepts like Web 3.0... Web 3.0!? You kidding me? Look at most company Internet web pages and you'll see that they are stuck with Web 1.0 concepts. Concepts that are nearly ten years old!!!


As a funny aside, I was mentioning to someone how it is a waste of money to buy advertising on the Internet to have a paid ad at the top of the page for results for a Google search. The guy told me that they were spending ¥2 million yen (about $25,737 USD) per month on that.* Inside, I cringed. I told him that he could do the same thing for free (it requires effort though) and he told me that he "had a good engineer." I told him that there is a big difference between an engineer and a blogger...


Stop for a second and think about that logically! Thinking that an engineer could be good at advertising and marketing is just laughable if you stop and consider it... If you are running a big company and spending a big budget on SEO or banners ads for top results on Google searches, then I ask that you do, STOP RIGHT NOW and think about that for a few seconds!


You have an engineer running your advertising and marketing promotions for the Internet? Quick questions? Do they blog? Do they Facebook, Twitter or do any other Social Media? And, the killer question; This person is in charge of your company public image and face on the Internet; would you be comfortable with that person speaking in front of a crowd of, say, 1,500 people? No? Then why in the hell do you believe this person carte blanche for the Internet where there are 500 million people?


Sounds pretty dumb, doesn't it? You'd be surprised at how often I see this everyday. In fact, this is not the exception, it is the rule. Any questions why business is down?


The new way requires ideas, creativity and effort. It doesn't require geeks who have poor social skills or huge sums of money to be thrown to wonks with stale ideas or your own company marketing people sucking a lot of air through their teeth. 


They require ideas and creativity. Here's one I arranged last year:


A major pizza chain wanted to promote their New York pizza and their new online ordering system. They've asked me for ideas. I have given them many so far. This was the idea I gave them this time:


Order a pizza online and get the chance to win a vacation for two, business class to New York for 5 nights in a 5-star hotel.


Simple. 


The pizza chain got a great 2-month campaign and visibility and buzz at no cost to them (I was paid a small coordination fee). The airlines? The hotel? They got their name, photos and advertising on 17.5 million flyers delivered to people's homes; 7.8 million menus inserted into newspapers; 3.8 million direct mailing to subscribers of the pizza chain; 250,000 flyers on boxtops delivered with pizzas to customers homes; top page visibility on the pizza chain web page which receives over 12 million unique views per month. And write-ups in major Japanese magazines as well as a huge buzz campaign on Twitter and Facebook. 


Cost to airlines and the hotel? Zero. Simply the cost of providing the gifts.


Not only did all three of these entities enjoy a great promotion that was organic (Makes sense, right? Everything is New York related) This campaign ran for two months. If you do an Internet search for this campaign in Japanese you'll will find over 606,000 results. Those results are almost all bloggers and mentions on Social Media about the campaign.


If any these entities arranged this promotion through Dentsu or Hakuhodo, it would have cost them at least $70,000. I arranged it for about 1/20th that price.


This campaign did not require any email registration or any actions by the end users at all. They didn't even need to order a pizza! All they needed to do was go to the website and become a member of the online ordering service that the pizza chain has started. No purchase necessary.


In spite of the fact that nothing was necessary to join the contest, purchase or enroll, the pizza company had over 16,000 direct email inquires from end users. Throw that in with the word of mouth promotion from innumerable bloggers and Tweets and you have a killer promotion. That is an awesome result!


Am I bragging? Well, thank you. Yes, I am. 


Is your company missing the boat? If you are in Japan, I'd wager that you are. It is funny that Japan is so technologically advanced yet we find that so many companies do not take advantage of all the tools available.


Is is laziness, fear or the hesitation to take responsibility? I'm not sure but some people are really blowing it for their employers. Don't believe me? Here's a recent article that talks about how a whopping 40% of Japanese companies don't even use Twitter. Of course, Twitter is a small part of the puzzle (and, actually, a very minor piece of a bigger puzzle) but the fact remains that such a high profile FREE media is not being utilized by Japanese companies shows that this is just the tip of the iceberg of a bigger problem.


Are you going to do something about it? Or is sucking air through teeth the best way to get the job done?




* = Advertising strategies do need to change with the times. Internet click ads had a click through rate of 3% when the idea was fresh and new in the 90's... By 2003 it was down to .28% ... Today? Last I saw, about two years ago, it was something like 0.07%.... And yet, it is still one of the most expensive methods to advertise. Go figure. 

Bad Sales and Marketing Promotions - If You Are Not Going to Do it Right, Don't Do it At All

I see some really bad promotions and marketing all of the time. They make me want to pull my hair out. Spending money on promotions is great, but if you run a company and your folks aren't going to go out and spend the effort, elbow grease, sweat  and time to make the promotions a success, you shouldn't do those promotions... Or you need to find someone who will spend the effort.

I think the biggest mistake of promotions, and you won't find a company executive who disagrees with me, is thinking that throwing money at a promotion will make it good. Even though you won't find a company executive who doesn't agree with me, you'll find one heck of a lot of them who are guilty of doing this very thing or, at the least, allowing it.


I see it all the time.


Frankly speaking, if you are not going to do a promotion right, then don't do it at all. Little things are what really make or break a promotion to potential customers; to me, to you. Far too many company executives look at a promotion purely from their point of view and fail to see it from the other side.


Need proof that little things make a BIG difference? Here's one that everyone has seen: When you see a clock in public and the clock is broken do you think well of that clock makers merchandise? No. No one does. Of course.


How much more basic can you get than that example?

It takes a licking but keeps on ticking

Here's a few other examples that I can give you of promotions I saw recently with my own eyes that were absolute disasters.


I recall a time at a very famous record company when they were preparing the release of the CD of a new artist. The artist management was demanding (as they should) all sorts of promotion and cooperation from the label.


The label promised this and that. The one item I clearly remember was the label boss bragging to the artist's agent that they were going to go all out and print the most in-store flyers they'd printed in years to push this one artist. A few months later, when sales didn't materialize, I was visiting the record label. There I saw, under the desk of the promotions manager, stacks and stacks of unused flyers for that artist stored under his desk. There must have been 50,000 flyers there. This was two months after release.


So they spent a lot of money on the promotion but the people were too lazy to get off their rears and hit the streets and distribute those flyers. Needless to say the promotion was a flop as well as a waste of money.


That was several years ago. Last I heard was that this same guy was still in charge of promotions. Any wonder why their sales do not increase? 


The guy is lazy. That's all there is to it.


Another example that made me want to pull my hair out was a promotion for a famous automobile company. It was a charity banquet at one of the top hotels in Hong Kong. There were famous politicians and movie stars there too. Besides those folks, a lot of movers and shakers in town were also in attendance.

CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VIEW

Banquet table. Can you pick out the automobile promotion? 

An American automobile company was a co-sponsor for this event. On the banquet tables they put boxed automobile models of their newest car. Guess what? No one knew what was in those boxes because they didn't bother to open one and make the model for display for each table. They left the model cars in the boxes!


Now, that is inexcusable. Any good promotion will allow the potential customer to recognize instantaneously what the service or product is. That the end user has to pick up the box, look at it and think, "What is this?" is just plain embarrassing for the sponsor. How long does it take to recognize a Coca-Cola promotion? One one-hundredth of a second?


On the cluttered tables at the banquet, the cars got lost in the shuffle and few people knew what they were (I took home a dozen to give to my kid and his friends). When I was taking boxes of models, one lady (who sat next to me all night) asked me, "What are those?" I showed her and she exclaimed, "Oh? I want some for my kids too!" and she grabbed a few from the neighboring table... Why not? No one at the neighboring tables took any home. Why should they? They didn't know what they were either. (By the way, including opening of the boxes, it required the average chimpanzee about 30 seconds to assemble one of the models).


Great promotion, eh? These things are sitting on a table right in front of people and no one even knew what they were.


Just before the banquet started, I asked one of the guys from the automobile company to open the boxes so that people would know what the heck they were but he told me that he "didn't have time."


Think about that folks. The guy from the automobile company says he "didn't have time." So what he is saying is that, "I didn't have time to get my butt over here an hour or two early to get the job done right." 


Hell, they could have at least tried to display the cars correctly on some of the tables. But they decided that they didn't have time to do them all so they didn't even start or make an attempt, so they didn't do any! 


The guy is lazy. That's all there is to it.


In spite of what you see going on around you, folks, there are a lot of people who are observant and thinking. In both the examples above, anyone can see that this is incompetence. 


Now be honest with yourselves? How do these examples reflect on the companies that ran these promotions? Good? Bad?


I think the impression is decidedly bad. It is half-a*sed and poor work. It is unacceptable. 

CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VIEW

Question: What does a model car in a box look like? Answer: A box. 

Think about it: If, say, an automobile company can't even handle a simple promotion at a dinner show, how am I to expect that they will make their cars or run their business? How can I confidently purchase their vehicles? I can't.


The point? If you are going to do a promotion then do it right or don't do it at all. A poorly run promotion is damaging to a company image.


Now why in the world would a company spend money on a promotion that is just going to create a bad image or hurt their brand?

CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VIEW

This is my rendition but, anyone can see, within one-twenty-fifth of a second that above the black boxes is a model car. It shouldn't be too difficult to figure that this is an automobile promotion.