Five Rules for Entrepreneurs and Entrepreneurship - How to Become a Entrepreneur

Worried about your job? Worried about the future? Join the club. You aren't alone. In a recent survey, 34% of all Americans were found to be worried about their jobs. So if you worry, you're normal. But I think there is a big difference between the worry a business owner or entrepreneur has about the economy and the standard company employee has about the economy. And that is because the average company employee, in many cases, has no control over whether or not they lose their job. Often times, company restructuring and decisions are made and terminations decided in offices five thousand miles away by people the employees don't even know or will ever meet.

Be disruptive and rough!

Entrepreneurs, self-employed and business owners have a better grasp over their situation and more control.

I have found through people I have met, and through my own experiences, that people who are self-employed or own their own businesses are generally more resolved and more confident about their future. Oh sure, like I said, in this economy everyone worries, and that is probably most prudent, but the self-employed or people who have learned to depend upon themselves are the most happy and confident.


So, if you are a company employee and you want to get started on creating your own business and perhaps setting yourself on the road to freedom, then today's short blog post is for you.


Here are my five most important rules for becoming an entrepreneur and entrepreneurship. These are the ones that I believe are the most basic to the success of starting your own business and actually becoming your own boss. I think there might be a few more rules that are good to know but, for now, these are the "five aces" (okay, four aces and a Joker), if you will, of the game as I see them.


The five most important rules are:


1) Try new things until you find what works
2) Be persistent as hell
3) Adapt & overcome
4) Always refine
5) Focus! And become a specialist 


Simple. Now, let me break these down and talk about each one for a moment.


First off, trying new things. You've decided that you want to start your own business but aren't sure what it is going to be. Fine. Try many new things. Did you know that Bill Hewett and Dave Packard of Hewlett-Packard got together initially and decided to make a new company but they didn't know what they wanted to make? They were completely unfocused and starting out making measuring devices like thermometers... They tried many things until they found some things that worked... The rest is, as they say, history.

Hey! Someone already beat me to these great ideas!

A few years ago, I decided that I was going to open a marketing company that focused on the travel market. I came up with a few ideas and then I was brash enough to arrange a meeting with a large, world famous airlines. I was unable to conclude a deal on the initial meetings. I was told that my presentation was "rough."


That was fine with me, actually. I wasn't insulted in the least. In my thinking I was trying something new and I had two goals: first to try to get the contract and; two, to at least learn enough from the initial meetings so that when I tried again at another company I would have learned enough from the first company to be able the get the deals. I saw it as sort of a "on the job" training and there's no better training than real-world. If you think this way then you'll realize that there is no such thing as failure, just the discovery of better ways to do things as you go.


As it turns out, I didn't get the deal at the first airlines. But, after the first meeting, I learned enough from my mistakes that I was able to land several big contracts with one European National Tourism Agency, one airline from China and the contracts for national campaigns for several big airlines. I think I ran a total of 20 campaigns (large and small) after the "failure" of the first approach to the first airlines.


By the way, a full year and one half after that first approach to the first airlines, I finally landed a massive national campaign for them at the end of last year and now they seem eager to participate in another big campaign later this year! That makes me very pleased.


That's the part of being persistent: You have to be persistent, but it's not good to be pushy. Always be available and always pass on information. That way, when your chance comes you'll be available to take it. Even after the first airlines rejected my offer, I still kept in contact with them and still passed along useful information. Whenever I thought I had a "deal they couldn't refuse" I passed along the information to them... Of course, they refused on some of the "deals they couldn't refuse" but it still allowed me to stay in touch and let them know that I was available and convenient.


So, staying persistent - but not pestering - is necessary. 


The third most important point is adapting and overcoming. In the case I gave above, after the "failure" of the first presentation, I went over that meeting in my head and "learned" what was good and I kept those parts and threw away the parts that were bad. I especially decided to work on my attitude and self-fulling prophesy. I decided to make it a rule that I would envision every meeting from now on each and every time - with no exceptions - before I went into them to create a positive outcome. Even though I almost always do this, I did not do that at the first airlines company that I went to. That won't happen again. I was too cocky and not focused on the goal enough. 


Some people might think that visualizing a successful outcome is silly, but it is not. I am a firm believer that visualizing meetings with new people is a key in creating positive outcomes... Perhaps it is akin to practicing a speech before you give it. I even visualize shaking people's hands for the first time and smiling and looking into their eyes!


Of course I visualize leaving the meeting with a great feeling and smiles on the faces of all involved.


The fourth point is about refining. That has a lot to do with number three. As you go along, making your presentation from company to company, you adapt and overcome but you continually refine your message and your presentation. Did you know that Colonel Sanders used this method 99 times before he finally made the sale that has become what Kentucky Fried Chicken is today? Ninety-nine times he "failed" but he kept trying and adapting and overcoming and he kept refining until one day someone said, "Yes!"


Oh, and did I mention that Colonel Sanders was persistent? I hope that I can continually keep up the fight even after 99 people say "No!" to me. Fact of the matter is that when that first airlines said, "No!" to me I was somewhat surprised. I knew what I had was powerful and I knew that if they said, "No!" that merely meant that I wasn't skilled enough at getting my message across. I had to refine (that is, after slapping myself on the forehead).

Colonel Sanders: He who laughs last, laughs best.

Finally, focus. You must specialize. I meet people all the time who are doing this and doing that and they can't figure out why they can't get ahead. Well, it is easy: they aren't focused. 


Here's a simple real-world example: Look around you at the restaurants. There's specialization shops and then there's family restaurants like Denny's. The specialization shops serve one type of food. Say, sushi, Italian, French, steak, etc. The family restaurant serves everything.


The family restaurant has its place but I don't think many consider it delicious. It is the specialization places one goes to for fine and delicious food. I have written more about this here.


To take the specialization example one-step further, how about professional baseball players? The so-called "Utility man" who can play several positions; they can play first base, outfield, catcher... Can you name one famous utility man? I can't. And utility men usually get paid the league minimum and are gone in a few years. But a specialist? Ah! That's different. Maybe a specialist can only do one thing well. Maybe the specialist can only throw 25 hard and fast pitches and can only last one inning but can strike out three batters... Oh, a guy like that will always have a job. A guy like that will get paid millions and be famous.


What does he do? He does one thing and he does that well. This is called "The Hedgehog Concept" you can read more about that here.  


And those are the five rules for entrepreneurs and entrepreneurship.


Some people will read this and ask themselves, "Well, okay, Mike. Now what do I have to do to get started?" I suppose to answer that question, there might be a sixth rule. That rule would say something like 


"You get started by doing." 


Or, as Yoda would say, "There is no try. There is only do."

As in my example above in going to the airline for the very first time, I think it would be foolish to expect that I would have had a 100% success rate (actually have batted almost 1000 since that first time) but we must be realistic and remember what our purpose is: We want success but we will also have to adapt and overcome, refine and be persistent. Get started by doing. Learn as you go. Get advice and read books.


There is nothing stopping you from being an entrepreneur excepting your own fears, indecision and hesitation.


The world needs entrepreneurs. There's definitely an job opening there for you.


This post inspired by Jeffrey Scott

How to Stop Worrying So Much and Be More Successful at Life!

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” - Mark Twain

In today's world, there are plenty of things to worry about and the list seems to grow everyday. There's war, the safety of the food we eat, nuclear accidents, car accidents, "Will our children be safe?" There's diseases, pollution, taxes, will we still have a job next year? The list goes on and on. There' a million and one things to worry about. Take your pick.

You want to be a worrier or a warrior? Take your pick.

I have plenty of friends who seem to worry constantly. The biggest thing they worry about is work. I think it is pretty safe to say that they are their own worse enemy. 

The funny thing is they think I don't worry about work or these other things at all. But I do worry! I am a "worrier" for certain. They just don't know! I think, up to a certain point, worrying is perfectly normal human behavior, and we all do it. But my friends think I don't worry because I've found a good way to control it and I'm glad I did. It's easy to do and just takes 3 minutes every morning. That's a better deal than worrying all day, right?

Many years ago, I used to worry so much that I wouldn't sleep well at night. The funny part is that I'd be worried about work! Think about that! I'm worried about work so much that I cannot sleep well. Then, the next morning I go to work and I'm tired. I'm so tired that I don't do a good job. So I worry so much about losing my job that I lose sleep and then, on the job, do a poor job because I'm sleepy because I didn't sleep well because I was worried about losing my job! What an idiot I was!

Doesn't make any sense, does it?

Worrying all the time is a proven cause of unhappiness and stress. Stress is a proven cause of a wide array of physical and mental illnesses and disorders. Life is rough enough as it is without our own thinking placing a heavier burden on our shoulders than we already have.

Think about it, is there any one of us who can do our best and achieve to our capacity - or even higher than that - when, in the back of our mind is this crawling negative fear - a worry - that binds us? Of course not.

So why do we do this to ourselves?

Today I want to give you two really good tips that can help you control your worrying. First off, I'd like to recommend that buy yourself a $1.00 pocket notebook and that you write down your top 5 or 10 goals first thing in the morning when you wake up everyday. Do it like religion or brushing your teeth.

Writing down your goals will help your subconscious mind to focus better on what is really important to you in your life and it will also allow the Law of Attraction to work in your favor. (There are several links at the bottom of this post to other articles with more details that you might enjoy reading).  

Here's how I do it: I wake up and sit down and think about what is really important to me. Do not cheat by looking at what you wrote the day before. Think. Really think about what is important for you and write it down. If you do this everyday and do not look at the previous day's goals, the things that are important to you and your life will naturally flow to the top. I used to write things about money and business as my top goals, but after doing this for so many years, I came to realize what is truly important in my life is not that. It is my family.

These are my recent top four goals (and I always add today's date at the end):

1) I am a wise and patient father and husband. I am a kind person.

2) Thank you god for all the wonderful things I have and am about to receive today.

3) All my loved ones are healthy and prosperous today.

4) I am a very successful businessman and 2012 is my best year so far. 2013 is even better!

Recently there are another 4 on the list, but those have to do with my work and financial goals. Everyone would be different, of course.

Actually, writing these things down is not my original idea. It is the method of success in life and business for many extremely wealthy people and the basis for a best-selling book: "Goals! How to Get Everything You Want - Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible" by Brian Tracey. May I suggest that you do yourself a great favor and read that book and apply some of the simple rules to your life? 

By the way, one of my dearest friends read this book and later I asked him about it. He said that he does write down his goals in his iPhone. Folks, the advice of millionaires say to buy a handy pocket notebook. It is extremely difficult for any computer or hand held device to be faster than a pen and paper. Why ignore the advice of these people who have succeeded and are rich for the $1.00 it costs to buy a pocket notebook? 

Also, I find that having a handy pocket notebook is great for lowering stress in that I never forget anything. Anytime I have a good idea or something that I must remember to do, I jot it down. It's so much faster with a pen and paper than any electrical device could ever be!

The second good piece of advice I have for those of you who find yourself in a serious pinch whereby you are worrying so much that it has engulfed your entire being is to realize that your brain can only think about one thing at a time. Seriously. It's true. The human brain can only process information about one thing at a time.

There will be people now who think I am wrong about this, but I am not. Just because you can multi-task at work doesn't mean that your brain can think about more than one thing at once. It cannot. Your brain can switch back and forth quite quickly so that the skilled person can multi-task but that doesn't mean that the brain can focus on more than one matter at any given moment.

Here. Let me prove it to you. Here is a sentence. Read it and them repeat it over and over in your head. You will see that, as you are repeating it, you are unable to think about anything else, unless you switch off the repetition. Here is the sentence:

"I am a positive and hard working person and today is the best day so far this year and tomorrow is going to be even better!"

Read it and memorize it. Now, repeat it over and over in your head. Do it many times. 

See? Your mind can only focus on one problem at a time. This is why constant worry is so dangerous. Because if you are only worrying, you will begin to make things worse as you will focus your entire being on that worry. It is a vicious cycle.

Stop it right now!

Anytime of the day, if you catch yourself starting to worry, stop. Take a phrase like the one I have given you above and repeat it in your head over and over until the worrying goes away. If the worrying (or panic) comes back, then start up the phrase and repeat again until the fear and worrying subside.

Some astute readers will recognize what I have written here as a form of meditation, chanting, or prayer. Call it what you want, it will help you to defeat the worrying that is destroying your health and your life. 

I hope that, if you start to worry, that you'll try these these two simple exercises that will help you set your mind free and help you to relax. They've helped me greatly. I know they will help you too.

I do recommend the book, "Goals! How to Get Everything You Want - Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible" by Brian Tracey but, if you are a cheapskate (like me) and need more evidence, I've written extensively about it here below:

One Easy Step To Becoming a Better Parent and More Successful at Life

Pocket Notebooks: The Secret of Millionaires and People Won't Listen!?

Vacation is a State of Mind - How to Get The Truly Wonderful Things in Life

Why Having Compassion for the Handicapped and the Mentally / Physically Ill and Less Fortunate in Our Society is So Important For You and Me:

Why I write about having compassion for the handicapped, the mentally ill, the unfortunate in our society... 

My third daughter at 10. She is now 18. Some say she is "handicapped,"

I say she is "beautiful and perfect!"

I have received a mail asking why I write about the recent episodes concerning time spent in drug rehabilitation in a mental institution in Japan... Well, I have, in the past, written much about sharing our time, money and lives with the less fortunate like children with incurable diseases and about my own daughter's fight with a deadly childhood cancer. The episodes on drug rehabilitation begin in Drug Rehab at Asia's Most Famous Hospital - Part 1 (Life in the Cooler) Upon Arrival to Rehab Everyone Must Detox in the Feared Cooler


At first, the goal of these posts was to place "on paper" what had happened as a record before time completely destroyed the memories. It was also a sort of purgatory for my soul and to cleanse myself of some of my past deeds. On a more mercenary note, the stories, I think, are great stories and exciting and make a fascinating read (if I am able to write and do justice to what I witnessed). I wanted to, and still intend to, do something with this material whether it is a book or a screenplay.


I do that for posterity and for money... If I could get those...


As I began writing the episodes for Drug Rehab at Asia's Most Famous Hospital at first I wanted to make people laugh at the absurdity of the entire thing... I still do, but there is also something that I think needs to be said about it all. As I began writing more there is something to be said that is, of course, just not funny about this situation and how these poor folks are treated like outcasts. I also want people to understand a few very simple and important things about hospitals and people in them.


First off there is a fine line between what is insane and sane in our society. I'm certainly not the first to ever say that. We need to show more compassion, humanity and kindheartedness to people who are sick and in hospitals whether those people are there for physical or mental handicaps, incurable or terminal diseases...


Secondly, there are a very many of us who are quite fortunate in this world. We need to give back some of our good luck to those less fortunate. There are also those in this world, the vast majority who don't wish to admit their illnesses who also need our compassion and understanding.


Thirdly, even though they are not in a hospital now, there are so many right next to us who have all sorts of problems and addictions. There are families right next door to ours that are suffering from children with illicit drug problems or parents who have the same with over-the-counter drugs and pain medicines. There are many who are living secret lives of shame by having affairs or gambling or drink problems. There are many who do, or are on the receiving end of, domestic violence. There are many who have small children who will fall to the devastation and unfortunate occurrence of an incurable disease within the next 24 hours! 


Living a happy a productive life in this mixed up confused world is more and more difficult as the days go by. Let those of us who can and do live good lives show the world that we do care by our actions and not just by our words.


They say that "What goes around, comes around." I know the shock and devastation that comes with having your healthy child one day stuck down with a deadly disease. I also know the struggles and life shortening battles that come with.


I hope by reading some of these blog posts that you can become more thankful of what you have. 


But that's not everything and don't think that I am such a magnanimous guy. No. Even though I went to war with a childhood cancer and have a loving daughter who is wheelchair bound for her entire life; and even though I have suffered through terrible drug abuse and all sorts of marital problems... Even though I have been through these things. I am lucky. I am fortunate. I am thankful.


As they say, "It is not happy people that are thankful. It is thankful people who are happy."


We need to share what good we have. We need to spread hope. A little kindness and compassion go a long way. We need to be thankful and we need to share that in the short time we are here.

Don't Create Your Life's Regrets: Having an Affair

Usually, at this time of year, I'd make my predictions for the next year. But, as baseball legend Yogi Berra once said, "It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future." Of my top ten predictions for 2011, incredibly all of them were exactly correct excepting eighty percent of them....I predicted Kim Jong Il's death and Manny Pacquiaou kicking butt correctly, but the rest were way off. So I won't be doing predictions this year. 


Instead of predictions, let me state some facts. Such as, "If you do so-and-so, you will regret it" I have much experience with that, so I have confidence in that area.


I am an expert at doing stupid things and then regretting them later. So let me warn you about one thing that far too many people do that they later regret... Sometimes they regret it for the rest of their lives.... And that is having an extra-marital affair.

Guys do stupid things. I don't know an honest guy who won't admit it. I've done lots of them in my life.

One of the really stupid things we do is get married or engaged while still young and then go out an have affairs with other women.

They might be so-called, "One-night stands" but, if they are, that's usually only because the woman wasn't satisfied and is no longer interested in having sex with a dud. Yep. Been there. Done that.

Why we get a fiancee or get married and then still want to go out and screw around with other women is really a head scratcher. Oh sure, I can say that now that I am to be 55-years-old next year, but when I was 16 ~ 25, I, like 97% of all guys who will admit it (the other 3% are liars), would have sex with just about any girl on the planet at any time any place.

Oh, don't think I was so sexually active at 16. I wasn't. I only dated "Handrietta and her five sisters" back then. I didn't actually have sex with a girl until I was 20 or 21.

But I digress. Where was I? 

Oh yeah. Doing stupid things like having affairs. Why do guys do that? Well, it's definitely a problem of not being able to control hormones. That's for sure. Guys have a hormone problem when they are young and it makes us unable to think with our brains and only with our, er, family treasure. 


But when it comes to having an affair that means breaking a bond of trust.  When we make a bond of trust to some wonderful girl (and trust that all women have a little girl inside of them as all guys have a little boy inside of us) as well as her family, why do we have an affair and want to hurt their feelings? Many girls have some childhood fantasy that they carry through life that they will meet some white knight on a steed and we are going to take them away. I think they call it a "Cinderella Complex." We meet this wonderful girl that we fall in love with. Then we meet her family and father and mother who are kind to us; we marry. Then, we screw around with other women and mess things up for them and ourselves!? Why do we do that? What have they done to us that was so bad? Why do we want to hurt them so?


Especially if we have children. Do we hate our partners and children (and ourselves) so much that we want to mess it up so badly just for 2 hours of sex and then weeks and months of whispering, lying and sneaking around? What, are we stupid?

Ninety nine percent of young guys have an excuse for doing stupid things; if they are under twenty five, they can't control their hormones.  But when we are older, have kids and a meaningful job, why do we risk all of that? I mean, think about it. When a guy is married or has a steady girlfriend or fiancee, then why would they want another girl? 


To be totally flippant about it, isn't one girl enough trouble as it is? 

Go figure.

But even more confusing than men having affairs is married women having affairs, I think. OK, call me sexist, but, from what I have read and understand, women don't go around thinking about sex for seven or eight hours straight a day, everyday like men do. Women don't go to bed at night and dream about sex all night and wake up in a puddle.

Nope. From the literature I've read, they don't do that. 


There is a woman who lives in my neighborhood that we've know for at least six years, named Linda (not her real name) who I think is having an affair. Linda has two kids and is somewhere around 35-years-old. I have no solid proof, like photographs, that she is having an affair, but, like I said, "Been there. Done that." I could surmise from what she was doing, how she was dressed and how she has been acting, that she is indeed having an affair. 


I used to see Linda walking around in the neighborhood sometimes, like I see all the neighbors. I am a friendly guy so I always greet the locals. Linda would be walking around with her small children and I'd say, "Hi!" My wife and son would also say hi to Linda and her family.


Because of my job, I don't usually have to go sit in an office from 9 - 5 everyday. I often get to work from home or have very unusual hours. Often times I go to the local Starbucks for meetings with friends and clients and possible business partners. It was at the Starbucks that I saw Linda and knew immediately that she was having an affair. I felt sorry for her. But mostly I felt sorry for her children.


By the way, near the Starbucks, across the street, and a 4 minute walk on the back road, is also what we call a "Love Hotel." A Love Hotel is a hotel that rents out rooms for two-hour trysts. They are quite popular for young people and those having affairs... So the Starbucks is probably a convenient (but stupid) "meeting place." 


Anyway, my meeting with my client was at 10 am sharp inside the Starbucks which is on the seventh floor of this huge department store near my house. Ten am is opening time for the department store and Starbucks. I was one of the first customers in the Starbucks. I bought my coffee and sat down at a table near the door so that my client and I could catch each other easily. I don't usually pay attention to other people in coffee shops and certainly don't look around for other people that I might know so I sat down and opened my computer. After a few seconds, the lady at the table next to me abruptly stood up and almost ran out of the coffee shop. I noticed her because of the way she was dressed; She had on dark sunglasses (inside of a coffee shop on a cloudy day? Hmmm?) and was wearing a head scarf like some woman who was hiding from the police in an old detective movie. It was Linda. She didn't say, "Good morning" or anything to me and she swiftly left the coffee shop.


A tad bit odd, wouldn't you say?

See? This is how women dress (Jacqueline Kennedy) when they don't want to be recognized. If a person is dressed like this, they are ashamed of what they are doing or they are outside on a windy day. Dressed like this inside a coffee shop? 

Now, let's review this situation. It's just past 10 am. The coffee shop just opened. I am one of the first customers in the shop. I buy my coffee and sit down. This woman, who I've seen in the neighborhood (and who has even been to our house with husband and children for a BBQ party before), dressed in an obvious fashion to disguise herself, ups and abruptly leaves the premises without saying "Hello" and she's wearing dark sunglasses inside a building?!


What's that say to you? Circumstantial for sure, but it says to me that she's having an affair with someone.


As Shakespeare would say, "Oh what a tangled web we weave when we first practice to deceive."


Like I said, I feel sorry for her. I feel sorry for her husband and I certainly feel sorry for her kids. Hopefully she has stopped but probably not.


I suspect that she knows that I saw her (and I could "read her mind") as I have seen her around the neighborhood over these last few months but she definitely tries to avoid greeting us and avoids having eye contact with me anymore.... When I do see her, she has that "deer caught in the headlights"  look. Oh well. Poor woman.

It's hard enough in life to obtain this as it is, why ruin your chances by your own stupid and foolish actions?

If my guess is correct, and I am quite confident that it is, now, what does she have? She is living in guilt. She has betrayed her family and children. Did the kids deserve this? Make no mistake about it, no matter how you slice or rearrange it, it is betrayal. Now, she has to live with that guilt and regret all her life. Like I said, I know what I am talking about. I've experienced this.


Maybe it is a sickness of the heart and soul? 


Some will say that it takes three to have an affair: two people to have the affair and a cold, mean or uncaring spouse to create the situation whereby the other spouse wishes to have an escape. This might be true. But it still doesn't erase the guilt that someone like Linda must feel when she looks into her children's eyes.


Life is too short to live if it is full of regrets. Of course, we should live life fully, but we should never betray the trust of those we love and who love us.

I hope that, in 2012, my friends, you can live a wonderful year without misfortune and regrets.


Happy New Year 2012. May the New Year see you and yours happy, healthy and prosperous. Live without regrets. 


NOTE: For you bilingual folks (or those who know about Google Translation), my wife has written a pretty funny commentary and take on this story. She thinks I am imagining things. It's hilarious: 男の勘、男の想像力
http://ameblo.jp/yukarogers/entry-11122144496.html 

Holidays and In-Laws Driving You Crazy? "Find Your Center"

Just came back from a vacation and wanted to relate a story that happened when I just arrived on a southern Pacific island. 

Buddha on Tumon in Guam

From past experience, and my feelings of irritation, I knew that at the moment when we arrived on the island, my in-laws might drive me crazy. You know, it was the typical story with old people; forgetting things; worrying about unimportant nonsense; taking 15 minutes to do something that most people could do in 20 seconds....


We arrived at the island airport after midnight. Everyone was tired and sleepy. We checked into to the hotel bus service which would drive us all to the hotel for free. 


We had two luggage carriers with three pieces of luggage on each. I received the six luggage tags from the limousine service to put on our bags for the bus.  I started putting the luggage tags on the three pieces of luggage on my cart and handed three luggage tags to them to put on the three bags on their cart. I finished attaching the tags. I stood up and, of course, there was some confusion at their cart. The tag numbers were wrong (?) or were they? No! There weren't enough tags.

Oh Lordy! I thought, "How hard could it be to properly attach three tags to three pieces of luggage." I walked over to calmly investigate. Sure enough, they were two tags short. 


"What happened to the three tags I just gave you?" I asked.


"Oh? We put two of them on your luggage." I rolled my eyes. I looked at my cart and sure enough, they had put two of their tags on my cart's luggage. Why? Hell if I know. For 1/2 a second steam came out my ears.... I caught myself and I smiled. Then I removed the tags from my luggage and put them on theirs... I won't go into details of how they started using a pen to alter the numbers on the tags for some reason. Once again a simple 30 second process took over fifteen minutes of time.


I turned back to the nice young man at the service counter. He said, "First time in Guam?"


"Nope!" I answered. Smiling I said, "First time with the in-laws and the entire family so all I have to do is try to be patient and keep calm...." I scrunched up my face and whispered to the guy like I was going nuts and said, "BECAUSE, BLESS THEIR HEARTS, SOMETIMES THEY DRIVE ME CRAZY!"

It was then and there, the Great Buddha who lived within the heart and soul of that young man came out and spread wisdom to me he put his hands together and smiled knowingly at me and said,


"Find your center, man!"


I really laughed. What wisdom. That's right. "Find your center, man!" All I had to do was to find my center and take it easy. I couldn't allow these things to irritate me... Oh, and trust that there were many things they did that irritated me. But, by remembering what that young man said,  I was able to stay cool (for the most part) and chill out. I was able to expect these things would happen and so, when they did, they didn't bother me.


Fifteen minutes to decide whether or not it is cold or hot enough so that they need to take a sweater with them when we are driving in our own car anyway? No problem. Calling a hotel to make special dinner reservations for a dinner that always gets sold out yet calling the wrong restaurant? No sweat (I knew I should have called myself anyway). Wanting to take a hour to shop in a clothes store that doesn't seem to have 50 pieces of wardrobe in the entire store that is the size of 1/2 a convenience store? Sure. Knock yourselves out.


Hell, I wasn't going anywhere.


Another thing that helped me to have a better and more relaxing time was to write in my notes as my daily goals every day as my number one priority was:


1) I am relaxed & patient & having fun 12/23/11


I wrote that as my #1 priority goal first thing when I woke up every morning while on vacation. It helped my subconscious to remember it and it helped me to forget about work and problems at the office.  

  


I also wrote at the top of my notes every morning,


"In Guam. Find your center." It helped me to relieve stress and have more fun. I think whether you  re in a south Pacific island or not, writing your goals and finding your center can help you to be happier and more productive and stress-free. Try it everyday in 2012.


NOTE: Write down your goals everyday for a better, more successful and happier you. http://modernmarketingjapan.blogspot.com/2011/06/pocket-notebooks-secret-of-millionaires.html

The Millionaire Businessman's Way of Motivating Children (and the Child Inside All of Us!)

Motivate your children!

What child doesn't want to feel like a winner?

What adult doesn't have a child inside?

Yesterday's post about being a good salesman and selling by taking the time to find out what people want and thereby motivating them to talk to you and buy your services. In that post: Good Salesmen Do Not Sell Their Product... They Sell Solutions For Customer's Problems please refer to:

Whether with an introduction or none, the good salesman will always be able to open doors and start conversations when their approach is totally geared upon providing a solution to the prospective customers needs.

The client is not interested in what you want to sell. The client is only interested in finding a solution to their problem.

If you can be a part of that solution, you will be a great salesman and make big money. So remember to always think of your prospective customer needs first. Never meet a new client and start discussing your product. Always start discussions on their problems and needs. Sell people what they want to buy. Sell them a solution to their problems.

Marc Sheffner, a great blogger and teacher, wrote to me and said: 

Seriously, tho, tomorrow morning I have this particularly difficult class of young people. Reading your post, I wonder if I have not focused a little too much on what I want them to buy, and assumed that what I'm selling is (of course) a solution for them, one that they want (otherwise they wouldn't be in my class, right?).

Perhaps so, Marc. May I also recommend to you (everybody!), once again, to read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnagie? Please don't take my rcommendation as my foolishly thinking I am wise enough to give any sort of advice to anyone... Trust that I have and need to continually read this book. In fact, I even bought this book for someone who is much smarter than me... My wife! And I gave it to her just a few weeks ago! (OK... Maybe she ain't all that smart. After all, she married me, right? Chuckle!) 

Why did I buy this book for my wife? Well, let me give you some back ground. Take a moment to allow me to indulge in what we called in Japan "馬鹿親" Baka Oya (Stupid parents). I am a baka oya. Baka oya are parents who like to brag about their kids too much. So, I guess that means, that all parents are stupid because what parent doesn't want to brag about their kids?

My son plays classical piano. He got a late start and started at 5. (Trust me folks, for the classical piano world, that's a late start). Even though he started late, last year, he won a prestigeous award from the Japan National Piano Teacher's and Instructor's Association. That award put him in the top 20 seven to nine year old piano students in the entire country. We were, of course, so proud! 

My son practices, and has always practiced with his mom at least one hour a day, everyday, seven-days-a-week, 365 days a year. Sometimes they practice twice a day for an hour or two hours!) No misses. He does this religiously. Every day. Over and over. There's no stopping.

Now, consider, my friends, what it takes to get a 5 ~ 7-year-old to sit down at a piano and practice hard everyday? Most parents have a hard time getting their children to sit down and be quiet for five minutes! How does one motivate a small child to do something like this? Surely, we all know that yelling and threats do not work. There must be a secret to motivating children. 

My wife has been excellent at it!

Recently, though, there's been a trouble a brewing! At least twice, after piano practice with his regular teacher, my wife complained that he figeted and didn't pay attention. On three occassions, recently at home or during practice, either he came down crying or my wife came downstairs and angrily flopped on the sofa in total frustration.

The other day, when this happened for the second time, I asked my wife, "What's wrong?"

She then started complaining and reciting again the troubles I just listed. Ironically, I had been rereading "How to Win Friends and Influence People"... In one chapter in the book, Carnagie refers to getting children to do something they don't want to do. In that chapter he speaks of finding the child's motivation and finding a way to spark that.

Carnagie recalls an interesting story in the book. A woman complained to Carnagie that her sons at college would never write back to her no matter what she did. She had tried pleading and begging, even threats didn't work. Carnagie bet her that he could get the sons to write back to him immediately. 

In Carnagie's letters to the sons (I seem to remember that the boys were his nephews) he wrote something like, "I am proud to hear that you are doing well in college. Please find, enclosed in this letter, a check for $10 to spend on whatever you wish." He then intentionally forgot to enclose the check. Within a few days, both boys had written back "Thank you" notes and politely mentioned that there was no check.

Talk about finding a college student's motivation!

I ordered the book, in Japanese, for my wife. When it arrived, I gave it to her. At first, she seemed insulted. She said,

"I read this book long ago! I know all about it."

Yes. I was sure she has. It would have taken someone quite versed in this knowledge to have gotten a 5-year-old to sit down at a piano for an hour a day - and have that child actually enjoy it! I have read this book too. From reading it, I learned a thing about how to respond to a defensive comment like this one from my wife. I politely and calmly responded.

"Yes. I figured you already know everything in this book. But, since we have been having a small bit of trouble with our son's discipline recently, I reread the book and thought, perhaps, you'd enjoy reading it again too. I thought, perhaps, that maybe we were doing something differently than we were doing before and that, if we thought about it, perhaps we could do things a little bit better."

That totally disarmed her and with a kiss on the cheek, I went off to work. 

A few days later, I received an unexpected email from my wife. It said,

"Mike,

I read the book. I know almost everything in it as I have read it before. But sometimes, I see that I have been forgetting to do things this way. This book is so very useful to me. Thank you."

Thank god I reread that book. Had I not, my wife and I might have gotten into a fight about the way things were heading. If I hadn't applied what I learned in that book, here's what probably would have happened:

1) Our son would still not be practicing diligently  

2) My wife would be getting angry and frustrated

3) Piano practice would have started turning into a very unpleasant experience for all involved (which might end any future piano dreams)

4) I might get angry at my son and shout at him

5) I might have gotten frustrated with the entire situation and my wife and I would get into fights

6) Nothing positive would have been accomplished.

But, as it turned out, I kindly and politely gave the book to my wife with the words, "Perhaps we could do things a little bit better." Here's what happened:

1) My wife and I have a closer relationship and understanding

2) My wife was reminded of the magic she used to get her son to practice diligently and seriously before

3) Practice has been going well

4) My son is happy because, instead of anger, he gets praise

5) Only positive things have been accomplished.

What a relief. And it's all so simple.

I highly recommend "How to Win Friend's and Influence People" by Dale Carnagie whether you are dealing with clients or staff or even your own kids... Because, after all, we all ARE children inside.

Learn to motivate that child and you will prosper! Learn to motivate that child who lives in all of us and you will be extremely successful! 

NOTE: My son's most popular video on Youtube has over 7,000 views! It was made when he was only six! See it here: 

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