How to Make Six Figures a Year From Your Linkedin Account - Linkedin Needs More Truth in Advertising - My Linkedin Page is a Big Joke

I have a Linkedin page. I like Linkedin. It's OK, I guess.... Well, sort of. Well, come to think of it. No, I don't. I don't like Linkedin... But read on, this post is about how to earn six-figures from your Linkedin page... 

My Linkedin bio photo

Do you know what Linkedin is? Linkedin is a great place where you can connect with people you don't know or care about and brag about stuff that doesn't really matter. It's kind of like going to a high school reunion where everyone who thought they were hot stuff in school tries to impress everyone else that they are still hot stuff even though they now work part-time as a plumber or are on food stamps!


Heck, nothing wrong with food stamps! Join the crowd! I just got my Obamacard today so I get food stamps too! Hey Linkedin, where do we enter that sort of information on our biographies?

Once again, Mr. Obama has his figures all wrong... It's nearly 46 million strong!

I use my Linkedin page as a deadly-serious sandbox and playground for my twisted humor. I put some serious stuff but mostly all sorts of funny comments and that silly photo on my Linkedin bio. One of my friends saw it and said, 


"Mike! You'll never get headhunted with that photo you have with that stupid brown wig on!"


I was offended. I thought I looked impishly handsome. I replied,


"Really? So you think I should have worn the purple wig or the metallic blue one or my platinum blond wig instead?"

See? I really do have all a platinum blond wig and a blue and purple one too!

Maybe the wig is why I have never had anyone call me even once for a job interview after seeing my Linkedin bio!



Speaking of that, I been wondering exactly what the purpose of Linkedin is anyway? I mean, if it is a site to look for a job then that's cool, but what's the point of posting your bio on Linkedin if the only other people who are going to see it are also out of a job and looking for one too? 


Isn't that a contradiction? It's so confusing. 


The best thing about Linkedin is that Linkedin shares are down from IPO almost as much as Groupon shares are! Come on Linkedin! You can do it!

If Linkedin would clarify why we're here, kind of like 

Facebook does, that would clear a lot of confusion.  

Is Linkedin merely a place for unemployed men to be bragging to other unemployed men? Not hardly.

The truth is that Linkedin was designed for the gainfully employed to show their old high school girlfriend (who savagely dumped them just before the big year-end dance) that she made a mistake that she'll always regret because you - and only you - were the one who really loved her most (that b*tch!) When you understand that, then Linkedin makes sense. 

That's why you rarely see girls on Linkedin. They don't go there because they can't really figure out what the point is either (remember they were the ones doing the dumping). Did you know that, by my latest calculations that guys on Linkedin outnumber women by over 25 to 1!!! 

That'll show her!

Women can turn it on and off like a faucet... Guys can't. Because so many guys are pissed at old girlfriends that explains why guys who aren't looking for jobs put up braggadocio and their profiles and bio on Linkedin. They do it to show the world (and that b*tch) that they screwed up big time messing with number 1!!!* 


I think Linkedin should have a "reality recommendations" part and, instead of just positive recommendations, it should also have a "condemnations" and "personal attacks" place where real comments about your shady character can be added. Stuff that can't be blocked by the page owner. Real opinions on your work quality and ethics (or lack thereof) like these from your former employers:


"So and so worked here for six months and things went fine until we began to notice huge amounts of toilet paper missing from the restrooms and forks, knives and spoons missing from the employee cafeteria." - Manager


Or, remember your very first job? Working at your dad's company?


"So and so was a totally worthless pile of crap employee. He was the worst putrefying heap of overblown bovine excrement imaginable. All his life he's been useless. Totally night and day difference between him and his extremely successful older brother." - Your father

Now that's what we need! Ask any marketing expert and he'll agree with me! What we need is more truth in advertising! 


Oh? What? Oh yeah...How to make six figures from your Linkedin account? That's right. I almost forgot! Anyone out there know? Because, hell, I haven't a clue... I can't even get anyone to call me for a job interview!


*Don't look now, dude, but she actually married a guy who makes more in a month than you make in a year! He's so rich he ain't even on Linkedin!




Inspired by Jonathan Clemons and Roger Marshall


Thanks for the silly images. Check out my new favorite blog site: The People's Cube. It's kind of like the Onion for Socialists... Pretty funny satire... Especially if you are twisted enough to put a funny photo of yourself on Linkedin.

The McDonald's Effect: Why Music, Literature, Cinema and the Arts Have Become Mediocre - Just Like Processed Cheese

I call it the McDonald's effect. The McDonald's effect is the action and mind-set of making things into a mass production type of set-up; into a boring, "this one same as the last one," process oriented system. Great if you run a factory in China. If you are trying to do anything unique and creative with your life and business, you'd better stop this.

The "process oriented system" reminds me of an old TV commercial I saw once. The owner of a hamburger stand was always thinking of ways to cut corners. He cut corners and cut corners... Finally, he came to the idea of using reusable plastic pickles because "nobody ate the pickles anyway."


Genius idea... If you are running a mass production, everything is the same as the last one, type of setup like McDonald's.


Pardon me, but I hate McDonald's (except the coffee) and think the food there tastes terrible.


I think that just about everything today, when it comes to music, literature, cinema or the arts seems to me to have become mediocre or is moving quickly in the direction of the McDonald's effect. In fact, when it comes to these "arts" it is much like what is happening to business; things are moving more and more away from individualism and creativity and more and more towards production. Everything seems to be getting cheaper and cheaper and more and more like McDonald's food. 


Everything in big business and big, corporate "art" seems to be moving from a "results oriented" base to a "process oriented" base. 


Results oriented means just that: the end product and how the end product is made is what is important. Sometimes it is very slow but the end product is intended to be unique or of very high quality.


Processed oriented means that making the largest amount of the end product at the cheapest price possible is important. Processed orientated businesses are like factories stamping things out of molds. They reward cutting corners and costs and quality to the minimum.


What I mean to say is that, it seems to me, there is nothing at all recently that is capturing the hearts and imaginations of the young people of the world. How can it? When everything becomes like McDonald's food, what's to capture hearts and minds?


Or is it just the way I perceive it as being? Read on and see if you agree with me...


The Harry Potter movies were fun in 2001... At least the first ones were. Now it's been ten years and, well, Harry at 18 years old is not nearly as cute as Harry at 8. Oh? The books? Oh those... Well, compared to say, Dickens or Tolkien, JK Rowling is 'pablum.'


The Star Wars movies were great, as far as comic books go, in the late 1970s.


Movies in the golden days of the 1930s and 40s up until the 60s were great. Today? Comic books from the sixties are turned into Hollywood "Hits."


Besides cinema, what else has become like chewing cardboard? 


Michael Jackson, probably the last of his kind, electrified the entire world with Billie Jean in 1982 and then self-destructed in 1993 with a rumored 16 million dollar out-of-court settlement for child molestation and entry into drug rehab... The he overdosed... That's been happening a lot recently.


And speaking of music and self-destruction, the other day the Grammy Awards were held. How many other people besides me view the entire charade as fake and plastic? Even when it comes to memorializing the deaths of former great performers, these types of ceremonies trivialize and cheapen things. Or, as my friend described the Grammy Awards, "...They turned everything into processed cheese." 


Today's movies, music, literature and arts all seem like they are rarely good. I think as a whole we are in a cultural funk. 


Though, do not misunderstand, there are individuals who I think are very good. And that is the key here: the individuals.


I remember when I was a child in the sixties, whenever a new major motion picture was released or a new album by a big star, like, say the Beatles or the Rolling Stones, it was a big deal. Today? "What release?" And, "are those guys still together?"


I work with many people in TV and radio and can tell you that I can count on two fingers the people who I know who do world-class work or even try to. The rest of the 99.8%? Why bother? They are all in the wrong business. They should all be working for banks and punching time clocks. 


I can't tell you why cinema or literature or music have become so much like processed cheese. I have a guess. But I can tell you why one part of the arts has gone to hell in a hand basket. I can tell you why the broadcast arts are so poor today. 


Some people will tell you that TV and radio broadcasting are so bad because of lack of money. But I think that is just an excuse. That is using the "which came first? The chicken or the egg?" Problem as an excuse for making a poor product that no one wants to buy.


Why don't the TV and radio stations have any money? Because they have no sponsors. Why don't they have any sponsors? Because they've lost all their listeners and viewers. Why don't they have any listeners and viewers? Because the programming is boring. Why is the programming boring? Ah! They'll tell you because they have no money.


See? It's an excuse. Here's the real answer:


1) The programming is boring because 99% of the people do a half-assed job.


2) 99% of the stations have been cutting corners for so long that when competition came up (like the Internet) they were caught off-guard. 


You really have to wonder how it is that some guy, somewhere, alone in his house could come up with better and more interesting content than a TV or radio station with hundreds of millions of dollars of staff and equipment could... But he did, they did, she did and the results are here for everyone to see. This is where the results oriented individual comes in: His primary purpose is not a processed oriented result. It is a results oriented outcome. He wants quality.


Let me give you an example that I am very familiar with. It is about the FM radio business... As far as #1 (above) is concerned, take the case of radio Deejays; 99.7% of them are lazy and do the minimum they need to do to get by. They make no effort to learn about new music; they don't go out; they don't read (or if they do read, they read music magazines! Ha!) They think it is not their duty to learn about new music and to bring it to the masses, so they don't. Most Deejays don't even go to stores or search the Internet for new music to play. They are puppets who are told what to play. Or, even worse, they are stuck in the past and continually play what they liked in high school!


Fools! Can you imagine, say, a fashion magazine constantly running articles and ads from the sixties? Sure, retro fashion might be cool, but at least it is updated. Old music is just that: Old music. It has its place but it will rarely capture the imagination of the youth.


In Japan, these Deejays learn new music from Billboard Hit CD compilations from the USA! Billboard? Billboard is a magazine that list things like the Top 40. If it is in Billboard, it is already old.


When Rock radio was new and exciting in the 1950s and 1960s, Deejays found new music and played it. Deejays were personalities. Today? Nope. Like I said puppets; people with no faces and no names.


Don't believe me? Quick! Give me the name of one radio program! Can't do it? That's OK. Most people can't.


It is pretty obvious by the state of radio today if this situation that has been going on for the last twenty years has been good for the health of the industry or not. I use the example of radio, but this has been going on in TV, cinema, literature and the arts now for decades...


The arts are like a once popular mom and pop hamburger shop. 


When the mom and pop hamburger shop was first started, it was delicious and very popular. All the kids and people loved it. It was always crowded. But as time went on corners were cut and costs lowered in order to increase the profit line. That made for smaller and smaller burgers and french fries. It made for Cokes with more and more ice in the cup. Along with the smaller burgers, cheaper and cheaper ingredients were used. The good taste began to disappear...


One day, the owners of the burger shop started noticing that their fan and customer base started shrinking. What did they do? Well, they began cutting more and more corners. Instead of coming up with creative solutions, they fell back into old fashioned thinking and continued to do the only thing they knew how to do: Make smaller and smaller burgers and cut more and more corners.


Soon, one day, they were barely holding on. They had 1/20th the customers that they enjoyed just ten short years ago. If it weren't for government or outside help, they'd surely be bankrupt.


Their answer to the problem? Cut more corners and make smaller portions. And the cycle continues today. 

Now you know why so many things have become so mediocre. It is obvious why, isn't it? Cutting corners and doing a half-assed job. But every once in a while someone like a Bukowski comes along... Someone with no money who is results oriented and art hiccups... For a moment at least...


Entertainment people can blame a loss of revenue all they want, but the cutting of corners and laziness began when the revenue was still good and they were king.


And that brings us back to the McDonald's Effect. Are you in a creative or sales oriented business? In today's economy, we're all in sales; and, if so, are you cutting corners and, when you stop to think about it, are you slipping into a process oriented behavior? If you are, you need to get out of that rut.


If you are doing any sort of creative or sales type of work, then you need to get out of the "punching the time card" type of mentality. You need to start working on results and not processes... Processes are for McDonald's or convenience store owners. 


Unless you already own a McDonald's, then you'd better stop thinking how you can create plastic reuseable pickles.  

Bad Sales and Marketing Promotions - If You Are Not Going to Do it Right, Don't Do it At All

I see some really bad promotions and marketing all of the time. They make me want to pull my hair out. Spending money on promotions is great, but if you run a company and your folks aren't going to go out and spend the effort, elbow grease, sweat  and time to make the promotions a success, you shouldn't do those promotions... Or you need to find someone who will spend the effort.

I think the biggest mistake of promotions, and you won't find a company executive who disagrees with me, is thinking that throwing money at a promotion will make it good. Even though you won't find a company executive who doesn't agree with me, you'll find one heck of a lot of them who are guilty of doing this very thing or, at the least, allowing it.


I see it all the time.


Frankly speaking, if you are not going to do a promotion right, then don't do it at all. Little things are what really make or break a promotion to potential customers; to me, to you. Far too many company executives look at a promotion purely from their point of view and fail to see it from the other side.


Need proof that little things make a BIG difference? Here's one that everyone has seen: When you see a clock in public and the clock is broken do you think well of that clock makers merchandise? No. No one does. Of course.


How much more basic can you get than that example?

It takes a licking but keeps on ticking

Here's a few other examples that I can give you of promotions I saw recently with my own eyes that were absolute disasters.


I recall a time at a very famous record company when they were preparing the release of the CD of a new artist. The artist management was demanding (as they should) all sorts of promotion and cooperation from the label.


The label promised this and that. The one item I clearly remember was the label boss bragging to the artist's agent that they were going to go all out and print the most in-store flyers they'd printed in years to push this one artist. A few months later, when sales didn't materialize, I was visiting the record label. There I saw, under the desk of the promotions manager, stacks and stacks of unused flyers for that artist stored under his desk. There must have been 50,000 flyers there. This was two months after release.


So they spent a lot of money on the promotion but the people were too lazy to get off their rears and hit the streets and distribute those flyers. Needless to say the promotion was a flop as well as a waste of money.


That was several years ago. Last I heard was that this same guy was still in charge of promotions. Any wonder why their sales do not increase? 


The guy is lazy. That's all there is to it.


Another example that made me want to pull my hair out was a promotion for a famous automobile company. It was a charity banquet at one of the top hotels in Hong Kong. There were famous politicians and movie stars there too. Besides those folks, a lot of movers and shakers in town were also in attendance.

CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VIEW

Banquet table. Can you pick out the automobile promotion? 

An American automobile company was a co-sponsor for this event. On the banquet tables they put boxed automobile models of their newest car. Guess what? No one knew what was in those boxes because they didn't bother to open one and make the model for display for each table. They left the model cars in the boxes!


Now, that is inexcusable. Any good promotion will allow the potential customer to recognize instantaneously what the service or product is. That the end user has to pick up the box, look at it and think, "What is this?" is just plain embarrassing for the sponsor. How long does it take to recognize a Coca-Cola promotion? One one-hundredth of a second?


On the cluttered tables at the banquet, the cars got lost in the shuffle and few people knew what they were (I took home a dozen to give to my kid and his friends). When I was taking boxes of models, one lady (who sat next to me all night) asked me, "What are those?" I showed her and she exclaimed, "Oh? I want some for my kids too!" and she grabbed a few from the neighboring table... Why not? No one at the neighboring tables took any home. Why should they? They didn't know what they were either. (By the way, including opening of the boxes, it required the average chimpanzee about 30 seconds to assemble one of the models).


Great promotion, eh? These things are sitting on a table right in front of people and no one even knew what they were.


Just before the banquet started, I asked one of the guys from the automobile company to open the boxes so that people would know what the heck they were but he told me that he "didn't have time."


Think about that folks. The guy from the automobile company says he "didn't have time." So what he is saying is that, "I didn't have time to get my butt over here an hour or two early to get the job done right." 


Hell, they could have at least tried to display the cars correctly on some of the tables. But they decided that they didn't have time to do them all so they didn't even start or make an attempt, so they didn't do any! 


The guy is lazy. That's all there is to it.


In spite of what you see going on around you, folks, there are a lot of people who are observant and thinking. In both the examples above, anyone can see that this is incompetence. 


Now be honest with yourselves? How do these examples reflect on the companies that ran these promotions? Good? Bad?


I think the impression is decidedly bad. It is half-a*sed and poor work. It is unacceptable. 

CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VIEW

Question: What does a model car in a box look like? Answer: A box. 

Think about it: If, say, an automobile company can't even handle a simple promotion at a dinner show, how am I to expect that they will make their cars or run their business? How can I confidently purchase their vehicles? I can't.


The point? If you are going to do a promotion then do it right or don't do it at all. A poorly run promotion is damaging to a company image.


Now why in the world would a company spend money on a promotion that is just going to create a bad image or hurt their brand?

CLICK ON IMAGE FOR LARGER VIEW

This is my rendition but, anyone can see, within one-twenty-fifth of a second that above the black boxes is a model car. It shouldn't be too difficult to figure that this is an automobile promotion.

Will Amazon in USA Crash? How about Amazon in Japan?

UPDATE BELOW!

Recently I have been hearing lots of news from industry insiders that say that Amazon in Japan is on shaky ground and that their share prices in Japan are way over valued when compared to their profit / loss spreadsheet.

Well, I'm not exactly sure about that (not nearly as sure about Amazon as how sure I am that Yahoo Japan is royally messed up) but I do know that Amazon in the USA is not all smooth sailing. One big reason Amazon in the states is in bad shape is because they operate on such a very thin profit margin. This thin margin does not allow for too many mistakes. That's all well and good but there's another huge problem for them and that is sales tax.


In the United States, sales tax is decided by states. Until recently, Amazon has skated around the sales tax problem but, as government budgets get tighter and tighter many states are clamping down on Amazon.


Until recently, if hit with the threat of a tax bill, Amazon would just pull up its roots and close all the businesses operating from that particular state, but now, more and more states are putting the foot to the pedal and demanding payment. How much longer can Amazon keep running away?


Mish Shedlock recently ran a story about this very subject:

Amazon May Cut Ties to California Over Tax Issues; Texas Distribution Site Closed Over Similar Issues Last Month; Litigation Issues Move to Forefront

Cash strapped states are furious with Amazon.Com over sales tax collections. Several states passed laws or have sent Amazon bills. Amazon's response in every case so far is to leave the state.

Online retail giant Amazon.com will close its suburban Dallas distribution center amid a dispute with the state over millions in uncollected state sales taxes, The Associated Press reported Thursday.

The AP obtained an e-mail Thursday sent to Amazon employees by Dave Clark, the company's vice president of operations.

Clark wrote that the center in Irving will close April 12 because of the state's "unfavorable regulatory climate."

Last year the Texas comptroller's office sent Amazon a demand for $269 million in uncollected sales taxes, plus penalties and interest, from 2005 through 2009.

The problem with these Sales Taxes though, is not as simple as it seems on the surface. A lot of this problem is not because of locations of Amazon offices or distribution centers; a lot has to do with locations of Amazon affliliates.  For example, even if Amazon doesn't have a distribution center or offices in, say, California, if an affiliate recommends a book on a blog like this with an Amazon link to buy that book, and that affiliate is located in California, then you can see where the problem begins. The state of California considers that a sale transacted in California.

That's where the trouble starts.

Amazon has had the same problems with North Carolina, Hawaii and Rhode Island. With state governments finding it harder and harder to fill their coiffures and pay their bills, it's only a matter or time before more and more states demand that Amazon start paying the bills. 

Paying those bills will probably kill Amazon as many of them will be past due for delinquent sales tax revenues and the amounts are in the hundreds of millions of dollars. 

The Market Ticker reports in "The Upcoming Crash of Apple and Amazon":

Amazon will also blow up; it shares Netflix's former screwball P/E (currently 101.)

And when both go, and they will, the Nasdaq will collapse since these two stocks are an outrageously disproportionate piece of the index.

Why do I put this forward?

Let's deal with Amazon first, since it's the simpler case.  Amazon's primary "lever" is the ability to play around the edge of the sales tax system.  This gives it an instant 6% (on average) price advantage over everyone else, more than enough to offset the shipping costs (which you pay in any event; whether shipped directly to you or to a retail store, you still pay for it in the product price somehow.)

But that sales tax loophole is going to close.  Over the next few years states will find a way, as the revenue shaft is getting out of hand for them. 

Now here's the problem: Amazon has a 2.58% (ttm) profit margin and a 3.14% operating margin.  This is less than the benefit they get from evading the state sales tax system.

In short, this is a firm that only exists because of its ability to evade that tax structure.  When, not if, that ends the company is a literal zero.

That sounds really bad for Amazon in the USA. Now, the question for those of us in Japan who love Amazon.jp; will Amazon Japan survive? Well, Amazon Japan has a different set of problems than Amazon in the USA does. In the USA, sales tax is decided by different states. In Japan, sales tax is uniform nationwide and charged by the central government.

Amazon Japan has problems with the many competitors in Japan. At this time, some items on Amazon are cheaper than competitors and others are not. In my opinion, Amazon's best advantage is free shipping.

But with sales declining across the board and talk of a doubling in sales tax in Japan in the very near future, Amazon Japan's future looks to be an interesting ride.

UPDATE! A Japanese user sends in a very interesting piece on Amazon Japan avoiding paying sales tax:


「僕がAmazonを使わなくなった理由」"Why I just can't use Amazon anymore"　http://site-ichijo.net/blog/archives/date/2010/1011-231855.php


The article is in Japanese but you can get a simple Google translation here: http://translate.google.com/?hl=en&tab=mT

Be Professional! Working at a Japanese Company - Any Company - Filled With Low Quality, Dysfunctional People and Management - Don't Do That to Yourself!

In one of my jobs, I give advice to major corporations on marketing and promotions. I work with some great folks. Usually, these big companies ask me for advice (or how to get tickets to sold-out concerts - yep. I can even do that!) Sometimes, in order to create new business, I put on my sales hat and approach companies that are in serious need of help. Today's post is about that kind of company; I mean a company in serious need of help. There's lots of companies like that. Here's an example.

The following is a true story. In the last two days, I've had some experiences that are just hilarious and just go to show how dysfunctional the people are who are in the employ of this one particular well known to be hereinafter called, "the Inertia Company" in Tokyo.  Everyone in Japan knows this company but it is not very respected. It used to be. But not today. It once was rich and profitable but, over these last 15 years, due to the Internet and not being able to adapt to the times (think Bronotosaurus), this company has fallen into serious financial troubles and disrepair. After hearing this story as just one microcosm of the whole problem, you'll see why.


It is all I can do to keep from laughing out loud at just how incompetent the employees as well as the upper management are at Inertia. This story would make a funny TV comedy show but, it is so ridiculous that, well, it might be too hard to believe. Here is what happened:


Over the past few months, I have met with the new director of Inertia. The guy before this new director didn't last 3 years. The guy before that one was gone after one year. When companies lose millions of dollars, that tends to create a high turnover rate in manglement... Er, I spelled that wrong, I mean, "management." In spite of the high turnover, like a good trooper, I've been trying to help them all with sales. And why not? Even if I think they are not good management people, if I can help them sell and make money, then I make money. Everyone's happy, right? 


But, with corporations like today's example of Inertia, I think God makes me do this sort of thing as a kind of "purgatory on earth" or, perhaps, to make me a better person and teach me patience. 


The Inertia Company has been losing more than one million dollars a year for the last 3 years. The new director and I met to discuss new ways to create new business revenue streams. In our last meeting, he told me that he, "Totally and completely agreed with my ideas..." and he added that he wanted me to give him "a few months to reorganize the company so that we could move forward with this new way." He also told me to contact him after that time.

Artist's rendition of Inertia Company Tokyo

As an aside, I go to that company sometimes and know that nothing has been reorganized by him since our meeting three months ago. Nevertheless I have been contacting him and trying to arrange a follow up meeting to discuss organization and operational implementation of this new plan.


By the way, I have already sold this new plan that I shared with the new director of Inertia to a few of Japan's most successful and profitable companies. In June of last year I presented it to one of Japan's most respected and profitable corporations and by August 1st, they had fully adopted the plan and now use it to boost sales - which they have done quite successfully - thank you!


Anyhow, over these past few weeks, I have been contacting this gentleman as he asked me to do. I repeatedly sent him very polite and professional business letters discussing items like CRM "Customer Relations Management," and very cost effective digital systems on how to use this new plan to obtain customers. With these notes, I have been asking for follow up meetings.


Finally, I offered him a lunch meeting whereby I could bring one of my top salesmen. This salesman is responsible for bringing this new CRM system to some of Japan's top sports teams whereby they use the system. Actually, using the system to give clients what they want is a no-brainer. I expected the director of this company to set a firm date soon.


That is, until yesterday. Yesterday he sent me a mail that just shocked me. I'd expect a mail like the one he sent me from a junior staff or a newbie or a junior high school student, but from a 50+ year old man who is a director at a company?! Extraordinary!


Here's a flow of the mails so you can get a feeling for the conversation. My mails (a total of four in four weeks) said something like this:


Dear Mr. Director,


How are you today, sir?


As you know, some of the biggest and most influential companies in Japan have just started using the CRM tool I mentioned to you at our first meeting. I'd like to continue that conversation. I know you are terribly busy so perhaps I could meet you over lunch to discuss implementation on how you can use a CRM marketing tool (at no cost) in order to provide your potential clients with the data they need on their users and thereby gain a mutually beneficial business relationship with those potential clients? Won't you please arrange a suitable time so that we can discuss over lunch? I will arrange my schedule to fit yours at any time. Please advise.


Mike Rogers


The director of Inertia dropped my jaw yesterday with his mail. He answered me something along these lines:


Mr. Rojers (sic)


We like you but cannot work with your company. 


We cannot work with you as there is a person at your company who used to work together with us at our parent company. When he worked here, he hurt the feelings of people at that parent company in the past. As you know, people are animals and their feelings do not heal so quickly. Therefore, even though your idea is good, we have no intention of working with your company because of him.


Mr. Director


I was flabbergasted. Here I am writing professional business correspondence, talking about increasing sales for a company that is losing over a million dollars a year, and this guy writes back to me talking about his internal family problems and squabbles! (No big deal, but he even spelled my name wrong!) I mean I talk about money and he starts telling me about his squabbles with brothers who were fighting.


I have no problem with them not working with us. But I'd expect some sort of reply like, "We have decided on another avenue to increase our sales. Thank you for time. Let's stay in touch and perhaps we can work together in the very near future." You know? This is what I'd expect from a professional.... But I am not dealing with professionals. This is like dealing with a room full of kids!


I have never worked at that company and have no idea what he is talking about. I don't really care. The above example is in English, but his original letter was in Japanese. At first I thought I was misreading it. To double check, I showed it to my Japanese wife and she was so surprised too. I mean, really, this is a business letter from the director (president) of a company!? My wife said, "I've never seen anything like that before. Do you think he wrote this letter when he was drunk? He sounds drunk."


I checked the time stamp on the email. I suppose it's possible that he was drunk. I mean, perhaps he was drinking at 11:30 in the morning on a Tuesday. Hell, I could see it. If I were running a company that was losing a million dollars a year, I'd be drinking all the time too!


Like I said, I was so surprised to see this letter. No. "Surprised" is not the word. "Totally and completely dumbfounded and floored" is more like it. I have never seen anything like that before. I'm the kind of guy who doesn't need to like people to work with them. All we need is professionalism and that's fine with me. We don't need to be bosom buddies to make money with them. Isn't that a part of professionalism?


I wrote back and decided that I should ignore his comments about hurt feelings and events that happened years ago. I wrote:


Dear Mr. Director,


Thank you so very much for your honest feelings.


Anyway, in order to implement a CRM system that can help boost your sales (as your competitors are doing and your former sales partners are now doing also) then let me introduce another company that has a similar system to mine. It is not as advanced, but can still do the job better than nothing. This system too, can allow your sales department to sell what the customers need and gain clients.


I am quite sure that there is no one at your company who understands this sort of new system so I can, at anytime, and for absolutely no charge, come down to your company and help tutor your sales folks on how to use this system effectively. Please let me know.


Mike Rogers


And that was that. He didn't answer my mail. I'd imagine that if I had written such a silly letter and then received back a professional "adult" attitude letter, I might be ashamed or embarrassed. But shaming or embarrassing this guy is not my intention at all. My entire intention was to help his company increase sales. I am not interested in his "family affairs" and they are none of my business! I can't believe he'd tell me about them!


Does anyone wonder why the Inertia Company is losing so much money? What a mess! Their president basically said to me, "I don't like you so I don't want to make money with you!" Laughable. How did this guy get to be president? 


Well, maybe I don't like someone like Bill Gates either but I don't have any problem using his stuff to make money for me! (Actually, I am a Apple guy, but you get my point).


And now, after that incredible story, what's the point of all this? How does something like this apply to you? Folks, life is short. If you are in a company like this, get out. After that experience and this absurd correspondence from a company director with the emotional baggage of a 12-year-old I don't want to help them. I hope they don't ask me ever again (they have asked many times!) But fear that they will.

There's lots of companies run by nincompoops like this example above. Companies that are struggling along, barely making ends meet; the yearly sales targets are never met and the mood of the company and the employees goes down. The quality of management sinks and an ever lower standard, and dare I say, IQ? comes in and begins taking the ship to even lower depths. Of course it does. Why? Because the good, talented people see the writing on the wall and get out of these sorts of companies while they can and take better jobs somewhere else. The people who are left over? They are the low quality ones who have no where to go. They have nowhere to go because they are left without gumption, drive, motivation and, sadly, without a clue. They can't go anywhere even if hey wanted to!


When a company is left with low quality people like that where is there to go but down?


People look at a companies like Apple Computer, Softbank or Google and think, "Oh! But they had a good idea and a good product or service!" Sure, that's true. But even more than that, they have good people. They know what it takes to make a good company. After all, what is a good company but a gathering of good people?


A company like Apple is filled with such good high-quality people that even if they didn't sell killer products, even if they sold chopsticks, they could make a profit and a good company. Apple people are like that. Apple could even make ice seem cool! Apple could rebrand ice and sell it to Eskimos!


A bad company like the one above I mentioned? A bad company could take great products like Apple has and they'd soon find some way to turn them into a loser and quickly be bordering on bankruptcy. That's what a bad company is.


Like I said, I work at several different places during the week. I get to see up close and inside of some of the finest companies in Japan and in the world. I've been to Apple Japan, Google Japan, All Nippon Airways, Softbank, Air New Zealand and Recruit, just to name a few, more times than I can count. I've worked with them and organized many promotions with them. I am doing so now.


I've also worked at some of the most dysfunctional and incompetent companies in all of Japan too; like the Inertia Company. I won't bother to mention their real names. Why? It pains me to do so. Why name them? Bashing these poor people is like kicking a mangy disease ridden one legged dog; it's not necessary or desirable at all. I don't even want to touch or get close to them.


That's what this blog post is about; not touching or getting too close to sick companies. Like a diseased animal, you need to stay away from them or you will become like them. For people who are young; for people who want to have a future; for people who want to give their children the best that they can; for people who want to escape and live their life to the fullest, this blog post is for you (and me). Don't take a job with a bad company. If you find that you are with a bad company, then get out as fast as you can.

As a multi-millionaire friend once told me, "Sometimes the jobs you reject are just as important as the jobs you accept."


Of course a job and food on the table is important. But, while you work at that poorly run company, you must make the effort to learn all you can and use your connections to get out and get a better job.


Remember birds of a feather flock together. If you are always working with poor quality and incompetent people you will probably become that way or, at least, be perceived by others as being that way.


So, if you work at a place like the one I described above; get out as quickly as you can. A life is too short having to work in a place where you cannot dream and be your best. Don't do that to yourself.


Find a good company with good people. Have a dream aspire to be the best you can be...


And above all be professional.

Want to be Rich? Sell People What They Want to Buy, Not What You Want to Sell Them

It's so painfully simple. Sell clients what they want to buy and you will be rich. 

You can tell by looking at this guy that he doesn't care about you or even what you want 

Ah! But easier said than done. Most salesmen do not get rich because they keep trying to sell people what the salesman has to sell, not what the people want to buy. How can the salesman sell people what they want to buy? How can the salesman know what people want to buy?


Simple. Ask them.


I meet salesmen all the time and constantly have to repeat myself when it comes to this point. No matter how many times I repeat it, it still bears repeating as sales people don't seem to get it: Sell people what they want to buy and you - and what you have to sell - will always be in demand.


It doesn't matter if it is a product or service, or even you, learn what the customer wants and sell that to them. 


I must be poor at explaining this concept to people. Why? Because, yesterday, with my own staff, I had to explain it again, and I've worked with that person for several months! I had to explain it again! Folks, this was at least the 5th or 6th time I've had to go through it.

"Have I got a great deal for you!"

Here it is again: Sell customers what they want to buy, and not what you want to sell them, and you will be rich. Does this sound like some sort of word game or Za Zen Buddhism? It isn't. 


Like I said, my explanation must be bad. Let me try again, this time let me put you into the head of the customer. Imagine that you are the customer in this next scene.


Here goes two examples. One is the example of a bad salesman. The other is a good salesman. Which, as a customer, do you prefer?:


Example A: 


You are the customer. You go into a clothes store because you want to buy a new coat. The salesperson approaches you. The sales person holds up a pair of bright red and white striped slacks and says to you, "Hello! Please buy these pants!" 


Do you buy the pants? Probably not. You probably run out of the store and think this sales clerk is nuts. You certainly don't like being approached this way. And you probably won't go to that store again.


Unfortunately, this is how most salespeople are approaching their sales job today. The honest sales manager and sales person will admit it.


Example B: 


You are the customer. You go into a clothes store because you want to buy a new coat. The salesperson approaches you. The sales person says, "Hello! May I help you find something today?" Do you answer? Do you say, "I'm looking for a coat"?


Yes, you do. Why? Because the salesperson has offered to help you find what you are looking for. The sales person knows where most of the merchandise is located so, if you are really serious, you will respond positively as it saves your time and is convenient.


This salesperson has asked what you want and you answer because you really do want something and you have walked into their shop to look for it.


It is so simple. Find out what the customer wants and see if you can fill their need. 


Aha! But it's different if I am a salesman and I go to the customers home or place of business. This is true. In the example above, the customer has walked into the clothes store for a reason. How does the salesman create communication and trust with a customer - when visiting that customer at home or work - so that they can explore what the customer wants to buy? Simple again. Ask. Create communication. Do not say, "Buy these pants!" Ask how the salesman can help the customer achieve what they want. 

"You don't need a new refrigerator! Buy this car!"

I work with a lot of mass media; broadcasting stations, both TV and radio, and magazines. They all have a problem. Under their traditional way of doing things, they are selling what they want to sell. They are like the sales person in Example A. All of these salespeople make appointments with clients and then go to see them and ask them to buy time slots in programs that have already been decided on. I can't name one broadcasting salesman - and I know several at many different TV and radio stations - who is out asking the clients what they want to buy and making the effort to fill customer needs. (Recently, though, I know a magazine who has been doing that and has begun to do very well doing so).


The broadcasting station salesmen are like used car salesmen in the United States; they are still selling their services they way they were sold 40 years ago: One way sales. Instead of creating open communication and having the ability to answer customer needs - and offer a flexible, wide array of services and choices, the broadcasting stations are still selling time slots on TV and radio. The great salesman will be creative and offer solutions to customers. 

Listen carefully and with an open mind, offer creative solutions

Are you still selling yourself or your services and products the way you were doing it ten or twenty years ago? If you are, then it should be obvious why your sales are bad. Is there any successful company in the world selling things they way they did twenty years ago? Not is the west and not in Japan there aren't.


Become a needs and solutions provider for your customers. Do some research on them. Go to their web page and see what they are doing for in-house promotions. See how you can support. Get information and knowledge. Talk to the customers and ask them what they want.


Find out what they want to buy and help them to get it. Brainstorm and offer creative solutions... Once you do and trust is made, perhaps then and only then, you'll be able to sell them what you want to sell them.


But first you have to find out what they need and help them get it.




This article was inspired by Kimitoshi, Youichi and Tom