Facebook Birthday Greetings - The Real Way to Say, "I'm Insincere and I Don't Care!"

Really. I'm getting sick of Facebook in so many ways. Oh, let me count them...


I'm sick of people "poking" me. I hate it when people "Poke" me. What the hell is that poking business? What's that all about? It reminds me of the game "Ding dong ditch" we played as a kids on the neighbors. You know, you'd run up to the neighbors house and ring the doorbell and run away. They'd answer the door and no one would be there.


Ha! Ha! Ha! Yeah. Real funny... Yeah funny, if you are about nine-years-old. Don't poke me anymore. I don't like it.

I also hate it when people never do anything but click the "Like" button. What is that? You post an article about children dying of starvation in Africa or getting killed in wars or a new flesh eating virus that peels your face off and leaves a read jelly-like mess and people click the "Like" button? What's to like about that? Are people too stupid to make a comment?


Or do they really mean they'd like to have flesh eating viruses rip their flesh off their face? Not even a simple-minded comment like, "Yeah. What he said!" Or, something really insincere and useless like, "I hope things get better!" Have people become so stupid these days that the only reaction they can have is to consider whether or not they want to click a button? Oh, the choices to be made! How can anyone find the time? Really!

What's not to like?

I also hate Facebook birthdays. Nothing says insincerity and "I don't care about you at all, but since I am here anyway and wasting my time, might as well send you a birthday greeting - uh, how do you spell your name again? Never mind, it's written right here!" like a Facebook birthday greeting. 


I hate it when I get the weekly Facebook notice that tells me that "You have 53 friends with birthdays this week." Who the hell wants to get a bunch of insincere birthday wishes from people who they probably wouldn't recognize if they walked by them on the street? I don't...


When it was my birthday last time, I got so many "Happy Birthday" wishes that it pissed me off going through them all and clicking, "Like" so that people would know I insincerely acknowledged their insincere wishes that I gave up after a while. Being so insincere to so many people is time consuming and exhausting!


Facebook has become the best (worst?) and most insincere way to send greetings of any sort. It really sucks and, instead of bringing people closer together, I suspect that it is actually pulling us farther apart and lowering the quality of our relationships. Good relationships require work and much effort... Facebook lowers the effort and time and thinking required... And that means our relations with each other are getting worse, not better. 


You know, a relationship needs nurturing; like the flowers in a garden need nurturing. Just clicking "Like" is akin to remotely turning on the garden sprinklers in the garden: It is a great way for weeds to grow.

Nurturing the garden of love

If you really do care about someone, you'll send them a real card or call them on the phone. Sending a Facebook birthday wish, a Poke, or a Like, is the real way to show that you are insincere and don't actually care; you are too busy to be bothered.


People who do really care will admit that what I write is truth.


You won't be getting any birthday wishes from me. If you do, I'll really mean, "Happy Birthday." Which means I won't send those out through Facebook. 


Happy Birthday and a big poke to my friend Garin Dart!

Facebook is a Failure as a Marketing and Sales Tool - Here's Data!

Marc Sheffner posts an incredibly interesting article at the Searching For Accurate Maps blog about how Facebook is actually a losing proposition when it comes to marketing and promotion. 

Actually, I suspected so. I'm glad Marc put up some real numbers for people to get into.


Please refer to End of Facebook?

Ad Age, a six-week study of Facebook’s Fan pages showed a mere 0.45% of fans engaged in any way beyond clicking “Like.” This indicates that Facebook fan bases and actual engagement aren’t the same thing.

The average engagement for the 10 brands with the largest fan bases (like Harley Davidson, Nike and Porsche) was 0.36%. The highest engagement was in the alcohol category and the lowest in laundry detergent, social platforms and apps.

In other Facebook marketing news, my colleague Brian Croner reports that “world famous Sun Valley Ski Resort here in Idaho, invested their entire $950,000 ad budget in Facebook advertising in 2011 and it bombed. It bombed so bad in fact, they fired their marketing director. Last year they had more snow than they knew what to do with and still couldn’t pack the hotels after using FB exclusively.

Read more at Accurate Maps. 


Looking at how badly Groupon is dropping, refer to Groupon Shares Fall Off a Cliff, Down 42% Since IPO, Facebook had better IPO as soon as possible because I suspect that the actual value of these social networks could be close to zero. I already know that Facebook is losing money. 


Don't forget that, just a few years ago, Myspace was the King of Social Networks... Today? They closed their office in Japan last month.


Could Facebook be a few years behind Myspace?

Beautiful Video of Hanami (Flower Views) in Fukushima Japan

Tomorrow is April 1st. The plums have already blossomed in Tokyo and we're having our annual hanami bash tomorrow. I've put the information on Twitter with tweets and on Facebook with, er, what-you-call-thems, so please come. Everyone is welcome!


Here's a breath-taking video of flowers in Fukushima with many views of "Hanami Yama" (Flower view mountain). Enjoy the beauty of Japan:

Facebook Loss of Privacy Really Out of Hand! Woman finds her husband has another wife on Facebook!

"Facebook says, 'Privacy is theft,' because they're selling your lack of privacy to the advertisers who might show up one day." - Jaron Lanier

Well, the articles that will make one really want to start thinking about deleting their Facebook account are coming hard and fast. This time, a married woman finds out her husband has another wife through Facebook!

The same thing happened in the sixties! Just that word got out a different way.

What did I tell you about idiots putting too much information up on the internet and Facebook? Like that lady who killed the endangered species polar bear then placed the phot up on the Internet for everyone to see? Talk about dumb! This guy might even be worse!


Washington radio station WLFI reports:

Facebook 'friend' offer exposes man's other wife

TACOMA, Wash. (AP) — Facebook's automatic efforts to connect user through "friends" they may know recently led two Washington women to find out they were married to the same man, at the same time.

That led to the man, corrections officer Alan L. O'Neill, being slapped with bigamy charges.

According to charging documents filed Thursday, O'Neill married a woman in 2001, moved out in 2009, changed his name and remarried without divorcing her. The first wife first noticed O'Neill had moved on to another woman when Facebook suggested the friendship connection to wife No. 2 under the "People You May Know" feature.

"Wife No. 1 went to wife No. 2's page and saw a picture of her and her husband with a wedding cake," said Pierce County Prosecutor Mark Lindquist told The Associated Press.

If that were my spouse? Why, yes! I would politely inquire what this was all about!

Wife No. 1 then called the defendant's mother.

"An hour later the defendant arrived at (Wife No. 1's) apartment, and she asked him several times if they were divorced," court records show. "The defendant said, 'No, we are still married.'"

Neither O'Neill nor his first wife had filed for divorce, according to charging documents. The name change came in December, and later that month he married his second wife.

O'Neill allegedly told Wife No. 1 not to tell anybody about his dual marriages, that he would fix it, the documents state. But wife No. 1 alerted authorities.

"Facebook is now some place where people discover things about each other that end up reporting that to law enforcement," Lindquist said.

O'Neill, 41, was previously known at Alan Fulk. He has worked as a Pierce County corrections officer for five years, sheriff's spokesman Ed Troyer said. He was placed on administrative leave after prosecutors charged him Thursday. He could face up to a year in jail if convicted.

His name is Alan Fulk? Well, I guess he Fulked up! Yuk! Yuk! Yuk!

Junior high school grade jokes aside, I think one year in jail is far too severe. This guy obviously has some sort of mental problem as one has to wonder, "Why in the world would he want two wives? Isn't one enough trouble as it is?" As Jerry Lee Lewis would counter: "Well, since I wasn't really married to my first wife then I didn't need a divorce!" Or some sort of twisted logic like that...

Seriously, I predict that something is going to come along that is like Facebook excepting it is more protective of your privacy (a friend recommended "Anonymousbook") and also really confines who your "friends" can be. 

Facebook spreads a much too broad of a net. There's got to be something very wrong with a site that gives away all your private information to 5,000 people, or more so easily.

Think I could start a "FREE ALAN FULK" scam charity like Kony 2012 and pay myself massive bonuses too?

Kony 2012 is a Scam - Kony? What about America's war criminals? If Uganda didn't have oil, you'd never hear about this.

"The United States has never intervened anywhere on the face of the planet for the interests of the masses of people. There's always a geostrategic and geopolitical reason for the involvement." - Marcel Cartier

Kony 2012 has become a viral sensation with tens of millions of views in just a week. Sorry, folks but this entire thing reeks of propaganda. This is the first time the CIA or similar organization is dedicated to using the social media tool, Facebook, to sway public opinion. It's not the first time, nor will it be the last, that average dummy Joe Blow (who watches too much TV) gets all riled up about disinformation.


Kony 2012 is not what it seems. 


Why the sudden interest in Uganda? ‎


Six million people have died in the last decade in the Democratic Republic of Congo... But we don't hear about that! Why? The USA benefits from the proxy war in Congo. And Congo doesn't have resources we want. 


Why Kony and why Uganda? What a coincidence that oil was discovered in Uganda two years ago.

Just like Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, and other middle east countries, we are told that we must save these people. But what happens? We bomb and kill them. Iraq and Libya should be more than enough to wake people up to a smoke screen.


Kony 2012 seems suspiciously to be merely a psy-ops operation to get US public opinion behind more US military action in Uganda to control their resources. The US already has 100 soldiers on the ground in Uganda by the way.


If episodes like this continue, it will even further ruin the credibility of Facebook like the credibility of the main stream media has been ruined. Look for this to be a preview of how Facebook will not be the powerful social media tool it once was in about 5 ~ 10 years.


A big thanks to Kirby Ramlackhan!

Woman Kills Polar Bear Hunting Then Posts Photos and Story on Internet - Big Game Hunting Woman a Public Relations Nightmare?

UPDATE BELOW


A good company and public image is so very important. Here's a true story that's going on right now. 

But first, since this blog is often about marketing, imagine this with me, if you will:

Imagine if you ran a world-famous company. Imagine that your company is deeply concerned about so-called "Corporate Social Responsibility." Imagine if your company makes an effort to be genuinely concerned about protecting the environment... I'm not talking about Global Warming; I'm talking about a genuine concern for not polluting the air, lakes, oceans, and keeping our world cleaner and nicer for our children and our children's children.

Wouldn't that be wonderful?

Imagine then, if you had an employee (or executive) who was a big game hunter and killed an endangered species of animal and then posted it all over the Internet. 

I think I might be a tad bit upset and wonder about that employee's lack of common sense.

My Japanese wife saw this picture and heard the entire story. 

Her reaction? "Is this woman dumb?"

Well that's what happened and it is just now, as you read, becoming a topic on Facebook.


Her name is Michele Leqve. I name her publicly as she is a already a public figure and has announced on the Internet through her Facebook community, and with articles she writes - that include photos - of the animals she kills on her hunts. 


Here is public information about her hobby on a site called, Women Hunters - For Women, About Women, By Women:

Michele Leqve has only been bow hunting for the past 11 years, and in that time, she has taken many, big game animals and has 9 different species!...

...To date, Michele has hunted for 10 North American Big Game species which include: Elk, Antelope, Mule Deer, Whitetail Deer, Coues Deer, Black Bear, Polar Bear, Quebec Labrador Caribou, Central Canadian Caribou and Woodland Caribou (this does not include any of the African species she has hunted.) 

Think she could ever get or keep a job at Disney? No? 

How about other companies that serve all ages and groups? 

Unfortunately, for her and her company, besides showing photos that are sure to upset a lot of people, Michele names her employer on Linkedin! I can bet that this might become a nightmare for that company. The noise is brewing and building up over at Facebook. 

Now, I have no problem with hunting. I did it when I was a kid. But we always ate what we hunted. I do though have a bit of a problem believing that this white woman eats the polar bear she hunts. If she were an eskimo then maybe. Someone correct me if I have a double standard here.

You know this lady would hunt elephant or Rhino if it were legal.  

Why is this woman's "hobby" a possible public relations nightmare? Well, check this out the chatter that is starting on Facebook:

This is Michelle Leqve an air hostess, who judging by the amount of self publicity is relishing her new found notoriety and proud achievement of being one of the first women to slaughter a polar bear with a High Powered Bow and a lot of help from dogs.

The exhausted Polar Bear was chased across Miles of open snow and finally brought to Bay by a team of Husky’s on her hunting trip to Canada.

According to Michelle’s own Publicity and testimony she loves animals but unfortunately this alone was not enough to save the Polar Bear so she decided instead to shoot a number of arrows into his body, While the Bear was trying to fend off the dogs.

The Polar Bear Died amidst the onslaught and is now a stuffed exhibit in a Sport shop in Canada

Canada is the only country in the world to legally allow Trophy Hunting of Polar Bears.

The Facebook poster who uploaded this picture and comment has asked that people complain and raise hell about this woman. There is also a listing of how to complain to her employer. 


There's all sorts of things people do that some people don't like. People can do as they please, I believe... (I have a problem with killing endangered species, though...) But this post is not about personal freedoms or the rights of humans. It is about corporate public image, stupidity and the sh*t storm that follows when someone puts photos like this up on public forums like Facebook. This is like those fools who take videos of themselves doing 250 mph in their cars then load it up to Youtube then get upset when they get arrested later on.


If I were her employer, I would certainly demand that she cease placing photos like this on the internet and making this "hobby" public domain - or at least demand that she have enough brains to not list me as her employer...


Yes, dear, this woman is dumb to place photos like this on the Internet.


Like I said, I can imagine that this could become a public relations nightmare for her company which is probably one of the biggest and most famous companies in America!


So, her employer does a great job upping their public image... Michelle then posts photos on the Internet that are sure to piss off the masses. Her employer is a good company I wonder how such as person like Michelle who shows zero common sense ever got a job there?


I just wrote yesterday how people need to do more to protect their privacy. That this woman would place photos like this on the Internet, just shows, to me, a total lack or common sense. And why brag to people she doesn't even know at Facebook?


There's a heck of a lot more people reading about this over at Facebook than read this blog! If I were her employer, I'd be furious. I wonder how this is going to turn out? If you were PR director of her company, how would you handle this?


UPDATE: I mentioned the dummies who take videos of themselves speeding then posting on Youtube? What timing! I just saw this right now:

YouTube Ferrari driver faces speeding charges

A doctor in Japan has landed himself in trouble with the police after posting footage of his drive in a Ferrari sports car on YouTube. He is facing charges of exceeding the speed limit after the footage showed him driving at 124km/h (77mph) in a 40km/h zone, police say. The 50-year-old doctor, from Okawa in Fukuoka Prefecture, was reported to police by angry YouTube users. He reportedly said he "wanted people to understand the beauty of a Ferrari". (BBC)

UPDATE 2: The timing couldn't be better. Now, just four days after I wrote this article criticizing this woman's judgement and common sense for placing photos of herself with a polar bear she killed on the Internet, here's a scandal about the Trump boys doing the exact same thing that I wrote about. If this doesn't prove that my point is 100% correct, I don't know what does! 

Yahoo! reports in: Donald Trump’s sons criticized after brutal hunting photos released

At least Donald Trump's sons don't have to worry what employer's think.

Too Many Social Media Parties - Facebook is Like Going to KMart and Gabbing With Strangers - It's Also an Invasion of Privacy

There's so many social networks. I won't name them, you probably know more than me. I use Facebook, Twitter and Linkedin. From what I've seen, there seems to be way more social networks than we could possibly need.

When you stop to think about it, K-Mart and Facebook have a lot in common. 

I think they should call it "Facemart" or "K-book"

The good, bad and ugly part of these social networks is that they all seem like going to a Sears Department store or the flea market; there's so many different people there and you never know what you are going to see or who you are going to meet. Once in a while you might bump into an old high school friend or work aquaintance. 


In my case, I've never bumped into a high school friend. Perhaps at 55 (and I was one of the youngest in my graduating class) my peers don't use Facebook. 


It seems that most of us do not have enough self-control to keep our Facebook networks down to a few friends. I don't. May I make a lame excuse? I think some of us admit everyone who asks to be friends because of our job. I used to co-host an extremely famous and popular FM radio show. When people requested to be a friend, I don't think it would be prudent to say, "No!"


You might lose a listener. In this day and age, FM radio needs all the listeners it can get!


But these social networks have gotten out of hand. Imagine that all social networks are like parties your friends are having - it's kind of like New Year's Eve; John is having a party; Mary is having a party; there's a party at Rick's and there's another party at your favorite watering place. There's so many parties. Do you go around to all of the parties and have superficial conversations for one or two minutes with 4 dozen people or do you go to one party and have a good, deep, intelligent discussion with just two or three?


I think it is much better to have the conversation at one party with two or three people. That's why, right now, I'm trying to decide which social media networks to quit.


If people want to find me, I have this blog; I am on Facebook, Twitter and Linkedin. I also write for Lew Rockwell. If you Google search, "Mike Tokyo" I am the top result. So I am easy to find.


Even so, with all these parties I am at, I still get invited to other "parties." I am flattered and thankful, but I always decline.


Recent parties I've been invited to are the Google friends (I haven't really looked but it seems like Facebook to me); I've also been invited to "parties" that are being run through other "parties!" What I mean is that I will be at Facebook and someone invites me to go to "Farmville," (I have no idea what that is) or some other social network (party) that I assume is some sort of computer game. I sit in front of a computer all-day enough as it is, the last thing I need to do is waste precious time playing computer games. Beside these invitations, I get ones asking to share my calendar and asking for all sorts of information.


I decline them all. Facebook and social media and the Internet in general is already too much of an invasion of privacy as it is.


On my Facebook account, I have more than a thousand "friends." I don't write that to brag, there's many people who have more than 5,000 "friends!" Of course, I don't have 1,000 real friends. I think I can count my real friends on my right hand... But, I like to think that, because of my work in radio and perhaps my writing on Lew Rockwell I have lots of "friends." 


For the people who have more than 5,000 friends, their accounts get locked and they can't add anymore friends. For some seemingly arbitrary reason Facebook locks your account once you pass 5,000. It seems absurd. If people have fun adding tons of friends that they don't know and will never meet, why not let them? What's wrong with having 50,000 friends? Or 250,000 friends? Or 10,000,000! You know that if there were a Justin Timberlake account, he could easily have a million friends! And that would be good. Perhaps if he were doing Facebook all the time, he wouldn't have time to record any new music to torture us with.


Anyway, no more than 5,000 friends on Facebook. So what do these people with more than 5,000 friends do? They make another account.


I think this social media and "friends" business is out of hand. Now, you and I both know that we don't have 5,000 or even 1,000 or probably even 100 friends. Some people, I think, use Facebook as a sort of "Rolodex" in the sky. Which is okay, I suppose and that sort of makes sense. Keeping track of business relations in a box of business cards is a pain. Which is why, I reckon, the folks who made Linkedin got started; they wanted to make a Rolodex in the sky. 


I've written before that I think Linkedin is a joke. Please refer to: How to make Six Figures a Year From Your Linkedin Account:

If Linkedin would clarify why we're here, kind of like 

Facebook does, that would clear a lot of confusion.  

Is Linkedin merely a place for unemployed men to be bragging to other unemployed men? Not hardly.

The truth is that Linkedin was designed for the gainfully employed to show their old high school girlfriend (who savagely dumped them just before the big year-end dance) that she made a mistake that she'll always regret because you - and only you - were the one who really loved her most (that b*tch!) When you understand that, then Linkedin makes sense. 

But I think Linkedin can survive if they simplify greatly and make their service as easy to use as Facebook. If they don't, they'll go bankrupt or get bought out by Facebook.


The problem with these social networks, like I said, is that there's too many of them; they are not personal at all; their net is cast too wide.


I think a good social network would be confined to a certain demographic of people - but then, how would they survive financially? Those would be something along the line of forums for those employed in a certain area of business or, for example, a social network just for people in the, say, flower arrangement art. That makes sense to me.


Going around to these social media sites and gabbing with people you don't know and will never meet seems to me, often times, a complete waste of time... Much like playing computer games.


Would you go to a K-Mart and stand around talking to people you don't know?  


Facebook seems to be getting the most popular in Japan (making my past predictions wrong). But Facebook, like I mentioned, is a total invasion of privacy. Never put personal information on your Facebook account. I even have the wrong birthday for myself. I suggest that you don't put your correct information on Facebook too! 


If you use social media and use it well, it can benefit you. But spreading yourself around to so any parties and having 5,000 friends means nothing anymore (well, actually, it never did). Having good conversations with close people or meeting new people through introductions is the best way. 


Most social media is missing that part of the equation and, hence, are becoming more and more impersonal and their own worst enemy.

Organic Marketing: The Future of Advertising

The old order of marketing and advertising is falling by the wayside. The future of advertising is not tomorrow, it was a few years back. And if your company is not on it now, you are way behind the curve.

There are examples all around us of the new way to advertise. Some big (and fashionable and cool) companies are doing it. They are laying the foundations and showing everyone how it is done... Let me repeat that: They are showing everyone how it is done! Yet 95% of the companies see it but do not copy or follow or, well, maybe they "just don't 'get it.'"


These businesses are like dinosaurs. I reckon that when that huge-a*sed asteroid hit the earth several millions of years ago, the brontosaurus were standing there and, weeks and months, after the temperature had dropped dangerously low, they began to think, "Gee... It's getting awfully cold..."


Do you think the dinosaurs thought, "Maybe I'd better move to where it is warmer?" Nah. They didn't. It may or may not have helped. But certainly standing there and doing nothing, or doing the same thing they had always done, wasn't a good option.


My God! If I had a few dollars for every company I see everyday standing, there doing nothing, or doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, I'd be a millionaire! (Maybe only a million yen because I hate going outside too much, but you get the idea!)


The old way of advertising:


Talk to people in suits and give them money. They run a full-page advert in a newspaper. It says, "That's a great place to eat steak. It is soooo delicious!" Cost of this advertising: $5000.00 or more.


Joe Happoshu sees the ad. You see the ad. Do you go there? Nope. Why? No one believes this sort of advertising anymore. 


The new way of advertising: 


Your friend at the office says to you one day, "Say! Have you tried that new steakhouse on the corner? It's really good." Do you go there? Yes. you do. Why? Because you believe your friend. Cost of this advertising: Zero.


There's an old saying: "Credibility is very hard to get. It is even harder to buy."


So why does your company continually try to buy credibility?


The new way of marketing is to build a reputation by using organic methods to spread the word of mouth. Organic means that we tie up other companies with yours and make a mutually beneficial marketing program that is very low cost and gets the word of mouth buzzing. It must be organic; it must make sense to the public... People interested in one aspect of the marketing will be drawn to another if we fit the pieces of the puzzle together correctly. And bloggers (that people like your friend in the office read) write about you.


Sure, sure... Your company and staff (and your advertising agency) pay lip service to blogging and Web 2.0 and 3.0, but if you were to actually sit them down and explain to you a concept like Web 3.0 I'd wager a donut that they can't do it and I'd wager a year's worth of donuts that they DON'T do it. 


The problem with most Japanese companies is their advertising people are so stuck with the old way of doing things, they just can't get their head around concepts like Web 3.0... Web 3.0!? You kidding me? Look at most company Internet web pages and you'll see that they are stuck with Web 1.0 concepts. Concepts that are nearly ten years old!!!


As a funny aside, I was mentioning to someone how it is a waste of money to buy advertising on the Internet to have a paid ad at the top of the page for results for a Google search. The guy told me that they were spending ¥2 million yen (about $25,737 USD) per month on that.* Inside, I cringed. I told him that he could do the same thing for free (it requires effort though) and he told me that he "had a good engineer." I told him that there is a big difference between an engineer and a blogger...


Stop for a second and think about that logically! Thinking that an engineer could be good at advertising and marketing is just laughable if you stop and consider it... If you are running a big company and spending a big budget on SEO or banners ads for top results on Google searches, then I ask that you do, STOP RIGHT NOW and think about that for a few seconds!


You have an engineer running your advertising and marketing promotions for the Internet? Quick questions? Do they blog? Do they Facebook, Twitter or do any other Social Media? And, the killer question; This person is in charge of your company public image and face on the Internet; would you be comfortable with that person speaking in front of a crowd of, say, 1,500 people? No? Then why in the hell do you believe this person carte blanche for the Internet where there are 500 million people?


Sounds pretty dumb, doesn't it? You'd be surprised at how often I see this everyday. In fact, this is not the exception, it is the rule. Any questions why business is down?


The new way requires ideas, creativity and effort. It doesn't require geeks who have poor social skills or huge sums of money to be thrown to wonks with stale ideas or your own company marketing people sucking a lot of air through their teeth. 


They require ideas and creativity. Here's one I arranged last year:


A major pizza chain wanted to promote their New York pizza and their new online ordering system. They've asked me for ideas. I have given them many so far. This was the idea I gave them this time:


Order a pizza online and get the chance to win a vacation for two, business class to New York for 5 nights in a 5-star hotel.


Simple. 


The pizza chain got a great 2-month campaign and visibility and buzz at no cost to them (I was paid a small coordination fee). The airlines? The hotel? They got their name, photos and advertising on 17.5 million flyers delivered to people's homes; 7.8 million menus inserted into newspapers; 3.8 million direct mailing to subscribers of the pizza chain; 250,000 flyers on boxtops delivered with pizzas to customers homes; top page visibility on the pizza chain web page which receives over 12 million unique views per month. And write-ups in major Japanese magazines as well as a huge buzz campaign on Twitter and Facebook. 


Cost to airlines and the hotel? Zero. Simply the cost of providing the gifts.


Not only did all three of these entities enjoy a great promotion that was organic (Makes sense, right? Everything is New York related) This campaign ran for two months. If you do an Internet search for this campaign in Japanese you'll will find over 606,000 results. Those results are almost all bloggers and mentions on Social Media about the campaign.


If any these entities arranged this promotion through Dentsu or Hakuhodo, it would have cost them at least $70,000. I arranged it for about 1/20th that price.


This campaign did not require any email registration or any actions by the end users at all. They didn't even need to order a pizza! All they needed to do was go to the website and become a member of the online ordering service that the pizza chain has started. No purchase necessary.


In spite of the fact that nothing was necessary to join the contest, purchase or enroll, the pizza company had over 16,000 direct email inquires from end users. Throw that in with the word of mouth promotion from innumerable bloggers and Tweets and you have a killer promotion. That is an awesome result!


Am I bragging? Well, thank you. Yes, I am. 


Is your company missing the boat? If you are in Japan, I'd wager that you are. It is funny that Japan is so technologically advanced yet we find that so many companies do not take advantage of all the tools available.


Is is laziness, fear or the hesitation to take responsibility? I'm not sure but some people are really blowing it for their employers. Don't believe me? Here's a recent article that talks about how a whopping 40% of Japanese companies don't even use Twitter. Of course, Twitter is a small part of the puzzle (and, actually, a very minor piece of a bigger puzzle) but the fact remains that such a high profile FREE media is not being utilized by Japanese companies shows that this is just the tip of the iceberg of a bigger problem.


Are you going to do something about it? Or is sucking air through teeth the best way to get the job done?




* = Advertising strategies do need to change with the times. Internet click ads had a click through rate of 3% when the idea was fresh and new in the 90's... By 2003 it was down to .28% ... Today? Last I saw, about two years ago, it was something like 0.07%.... And yet, it is still one of the most expensive methods to advertise. Go figure. 

The Best Teacher in High School I Ever Had Wasn't a School Teacher - She Was an Extremely Beautiful Girl Who Was My Classmate!

With that title, you are probably thinking about some hot high school "sexcapades" or a story of some girl who taught me about sex in high school. No way. I think those things only happen in movies or crappy Bob Seeger songs. For 90% of the people in high school (at least in my time) dates and going to dances were only things we dreamed about or saw in movies. I was one of those people. 


I never had sex until I was 20, or was it 21?

My high school photo 1975

After so many years of elementary, junior, high school and college and university, I can only remember a few teachers who really taught me something. I had one in 4th grade, Ms. Demuth, in Minnesota. She gave me a Snoopy card once that said, "Life is full of rude awakenings." I'll never forget that lesson. I don't remember any elementary teachers who influenced me or inspired me after her. 

In High School, I had Mr. Holts, my science and biology teacher. Mr. Holts taught me that there's a big difference between playing and doing. And then, and, in college, there was Mr. Al Miller. Mr. Miller was best of all because he taught me about television, how to handle myself in front of people and, outside of school, he taught me how to be a real gentleman; how to be kind and respectful to people - to all people.


Mr. Miller impressed me because he would, for example, talk to parking lot attendants and doormen and call them, "friend" or "sir." He treated everyone with respect. Not only did his mannerism and respect for people influence me, it touched me so much that it set the way I try to treat people all my life. Alas! I am a poor student and I can never attain the enlightenment of my sensei. I think few people can be such a sincere gentleman as Mr. Al Miller. If the world was filled with people like Mr. Miller it would be so much a nicer place to live. 


But I digress.

Mr. Al Miller was the best school instructor I've ever had  

Even though I had these teachers in school, the best teachers I had in school weren't actually my official teachers. Nope. The best teachers were girls I liked. There were several of them. They didn't teach me important things because they were my girlfriends or anything. They didn't teach me anything because they were particularly kind to me. They taught me well because they were only kind to me when they wanted something from me. They were kind to me when they wanted something like for me to tell them the answers to questions on tests so that they wouldn't fail. They taught me when they used me.


I'd oblige them because, well, in my high school immaturity and insecurity I figured being used and then dropped like a wet a dirty dish rag was better than not being used (or even spoken to) at all. This might sound bitter, but it's not. Those girls taught me well and I appreciate them for it. The lesson that they taught me was a lesson in life and, had they not taught me, someone else would have. They taught me the real world.


One of the girls who really taught me well was a girl who was in several of my high school classes named Kathy Dobbe (I think that's how it is spelled!) I'll never forget Kathy. Kathy Dobbe doesn't know that, all through high school, I had a crush on her and thought she was the most beautiful girl in school - maybe even in the entire world. I thought Kathy was a goddess. 


Kathy was a great teacher. The peculiar part about Kathy's teachings to me is that I'll bet we never spoke three words in total to each other my entire junior and senior years.


I am reminded of Kathy recently because, on Facebook, a few weeks ago, I saw one of those dumb "Guess who's joined your high school class Facebook community?" notices and saw that Kathy had joined (I don't join things like that - come to think of it, how do they know what high school I went to???). I also wonder why so many people seem to long for high school days. Are things that bad today? Were things that good back then? I don't think so... But, then again, I wasn't a popular kid in school...


Anyway, from the Facebook, notice, I saw what Kathy looks like today. Well, I am assuming it was Kathy.  I've never met her mom, but I gather that she today looks like her mom did back then. Kathy looked pretty good, all things considered. I think she looked quite good especially compared to her peers. 

Not aging fast enough? Drink soda! Hoo boy! Japanese people don't drink sweet drinks anywhere near the level that American people do. Even lots of younger Japanese still prefer tea. 

Damned if people in America don't look very old, overweight and past their years! Kathy didn't really look that way, but when I see people in America my age, they all have gray hair and are fat! I saw another picture of a girl whom I have known for over 35 years last night. She is a year younger than me but in her photo she looks easily ten years older than me. It must be that processed food Standard American Diet (it's called S.A.D.) that those people are eating. I'm glad I eat raw food and live in Japan where people eat healthy food. (Any wonder why Japanese women live, on average, at least six years longer than American women? The men live more than four years?)


But I digress.... Again!!!!


Unbeknownst to her, like I mentioned, Kathy also doesn't know that she taught me self respect. She taught me that because I had a complex all through high school; I thought I was inferior and shorter than all the (pretty) girls in school. Really! This complex messed me up because I figured that pretty girls don't like short guys. The guys all have to be tall, dark and strong; just like in the movies. Kathy taught me that I wasn't shorter. In fact, I was taller than her by a few inches... Actually, until she taught me, I never knew that I was taller than all of them. I simply never realized it.


Now, you're probably imagining that Kathy taught me this important lesson in self-esteem in life at some school function like a dance. Imagine! Kathy Dobbe and me dancing cheek to cheek on the high school gymnasium floor to some slow and romantic song. It's one of the last numbers of the evening. The lights are turned down low. Everyone grabs their date and heads to the dance floor.... We look into each others eyes and we embrace...


The saxophones start to play... "And they called it puppy love...." 

No. No. Stop the music... Stop the music! I'm not that old!


Think of it, Kathy and I, cheek to cheek, in a warm high school kid's love embrace? Can you imagine it? No? Neither can I. I was enthralled with Kathy but that was it. Even if I had asked her for a date, and she said, "Yes," that would probably be the end of it. She'd probably have scared me so much that, had we met for a date, I couldn't talk. Not a word. If I could utter a sound, it would be like a bird chirping or a wheel squeaking. Nope. Couldn't do it. Just like in the movies. And that's the only part of this that is like it is portrayed in the movies: Geeks can't handle beautiful women. Geeks are always like that. 


It's been scientifically proven that high school geeks' vocal chords stop functioning properly when they are around girls who they think are so pretty they aren't real or aren't from the Milky Way galaxy. 


I suppose I should tell you why I had such an inferiority complex. It's a long story so I'll make it brief. Before moving back to California, I had spent the last 8 or 10 years (I can't remember) moving all around the USA and going to a different school almost every year. That meant that when I went to a new school I had to start over and make new friends... This also meant that I didn't have very many friends. This is hard on a kid but a good lesson in life (that is for another blog post on another day). Since I went to schools in the South and Midwest, I was used to their school system and their curriculum.


Well, I don't know about today (but can't imagine that it's so different) the level of education in Midwestern and Southern elementary schools are a few years ahead of California public schooling. That means that what they are teaching in 5th grade in a school in Minnesota, they are teaching in 7th grade in California public school. So when I moved from Minnesota, where I was getting "C's," to California, I was suddenly getting "A's." Classes that I hated and struggled in in Minnesota, like Algebra, were, in California, one big joke. Suddenly, from being a dumb kid in school in Minnesota (or as my very kind older brother would insult me all my life, "The F-minus Kid") I went to being the smartest kid in my class.


Through high school, my older brother got all "A's." He went to school in Minnesota too (you do the math). So, even though my grades in academics weren't as good as his, I was still a geek, got mostly A's and, as such, an outsider. Because, even back then, in a California school getting good grades meant you were a momma's boy or teacher's pet and definitely NOT cool.


So here I went from being a dummy in school with no friends in the Midwest to being a smart kid in school with no friends in California. I thought being smart was good? Not in California public school it isn't. Can you imagine how that would play games with a 15 year old's mind? 


My high school in California, was a regular west coast high school like you'd see in the movies. You know, pretty blond girls and handsome blond guys. Everyone drove a hot rod American car and had perfect teeth. The ocean wasn't a ten minute drive from school so we had tons of surfers, stoners and our high school also had the standard issue football team and basketball team that every all-American high school had.

Everyone at my high school looked like they had just jumped out of some Hollywood movie. This is Janet and Randy, who were Prom King and Queen. 

The boys teams at my high school were lousy (you wouldn't know it by the "big man on campus" attitude those guys showed while at school). Nevertheless, it was a big deal every year when we'd play the cross town high school's own lousy team in our standard issue cross town rivalry. The teams would basically take each year going back and forth beating each other. The cheerleaders would cry because, well, as you know, beating Cross Town is so immensely important, especially since, as any cheerleader will tell you "...This is senior year and our last year at high school. We must win!" Maybe it was all planned that way... Maybe they do that in American society to teach militant tribalism (it's great for military recruitment)....


But I digress.... For the third time...


I was talking about Kathy Dobbe. Besides the very pretty girls, surfers, stoners, hot-rodders, and football and basketball players, my school also had geeks. I think I was King Geek at my school. I was King Geek because my grades were almost all "A's" and I was president of the Science Club for my junior and senior year.

That's me on the top left, Science Club president. Foolish me. At the time I never thought about dating any of these girls... But they were the classiest (and most beautiful ones) in the whole school yet I never realized it (and, probably neither did they!)

Being a geek in high school sucks because the "cool kids" (pretty girls, surfers, stoners, hot-rodders, and football and basketball players) didn't want to have anything to do with you. The only friends a geek has in high school is other geeks. So, all through high school, I only went on a date twice. The first time was when Shanda Shinkaruk asked me to go to a backwards dance with her (she was pretty too and terrified me also!) and then, my senior year when I got up the nerve to ask one of the smartest and most popular girls in school, Debbie Henry to go to the prom with me. Debbie said, "Yes" and that changed my life too.... But let me stick with Kathy for now. Debbie is another story.


How did Kathy teach me self-respect and give me a better self-image? It's ridiculous, really, when I stop to think about it. Here, all that time, all through 11th and 12th grade I thought all these girls would never go on a date with me because, are you ready?.... I thought they wouldn't go on a date with me because I was shorter than they were.


Seriously. This is what I thought. It was what I believed. The day that Kathy Dobbe destroyed this belief is still strong in my memory...

Only geeks and dorks helped the teachers with things like the projectors and handing out petri dishes. I did that sort of thing a lot. Come to think of it, this might be my first photo of my ever having worked in the cinema industry.

It was biology class. I can't remember why, but Mr. Holts told us to line up to collect some materials. For some reason, it wound up that Kathy Dobbe was standing right in front of me. I had never come that close to her before.  I was an extremely shy boy and would never intentionally stand next to her. I was so shy that, had she come close, normally I would shy away and back off to the other side of the room. But here she was! The girl of my dreams! The girl I had only seen from afar and she was standing only two feet in front of me... This goddess!!!!  


As usual, Kathy paid no attention to me and was talking to one of the other beautiful people, a guy, in the class. When she turned her back to me was when it hit me. I was shocked! I couldn't believe it. I had to get closer and check and recheck again. Were my eyes deceiving me? Not only was I taller than Kathy but I was taller by at least three inches!


You cannot imagine how much that really confused me and threw me for a loss. I was absolutely dumbfounded. It was as if a scientist who dedicated his entire life to a theorem and was completely and totally convinced that this theory was true had just found out that all his beliefs and life's work were completely wrong. Everything he (I) had thought, believed and was convinced to be true was completely wrong and had zero basis in reality. You can imagine how this twisted my mind especially as a geek and president of the Science Club!.... Chuckle.


Soon after, I began talking to many other girls. I began to check my new theory and discovery by use of the Scientific Method: "I am taller than these girls hereby it is OK for me not to be such a loser." I tested it over and over and found it to be true.


I stood next to the beautiful girls in school. I was taller than them. When some of the pretty (but dumb) girls in science class would suddenly take a 180 degree turnabout and go from not even knowing that I exist or actually being mean to me to being so sweet and kind and asking for my help giving them the answers to Biology tests, I started having an attitude. I'd intentionally give them the wrong answers.... Really! I am ashamed to admit that I did that one time but then felt bad about it... After that, if those girls wanted my help, I'd just tell them, "You're always mean to me then you want my help at test time? No. I don't think so." Then these girls would get really mad at me and bad mouth me. I think they got mad because I had always given them answers before so they had come to depend on me and when the answers stopped coming, they thought I was a jerk. They treated me like a jerk 100% of the time from then on.


That's OK. I didn't care. Before that, they treated me like a jerk only 95% of the time excepting at test time. Now they'd treat me like dirt 100% of the time. So what? Their loss, not mine, I figured.


And, after all, I was taller than they were and I got good grades. "Who needs dumb manipulative girls, anyway?" I realized.


Life is full of give and take. Life is also full of manipulative people. I thank god that I was to have this seemingly banal experience of standing in line behind Kathy Dobbe and how that changed my life. It's weird the little seemingly unimportant things that make a huge impact on our lives and way of thinking. From the lesson I learned from Kathy Dobbe, I learned self-respect and self-confidence... Perhaps from that experience I also learned too much, way too much, self-confidence too and exercised that far too often.


But this self-confidence has taught me to be independent and to be creative and to depend on myself. It has helped me to avoid the rat race whereby too many people today fear for their jobs and their future. Of course, I sometimes worry about the future and money too, but, opposed to a company employee who has no control over whether or not they lose their job or get laid off, I create my own work and I create my own income. I have come to, through experience and self-confidence and a good self image, to know that, if I put my mind to it, I can do anything. I believe that thinking that way, and helping your child to do so also, could be one of the best lessons in life that they'll ever learn.

I think the lessons I learned from this one experience are (if you are a student, this is for you. If you are a parent, please consider how you can help your child):


1) What we think and believe is often not true. An open mind is necessary. Some of the things we believe are so opposite of actual truth it is epiphany when we realize it.


2) Often we need others to help us achieve these realizations and epiphanies. 


3) We need to have more self-confidence and to explore.


4) Learning to read and write in school is important, of course, but many of the other important lessons are not taught by teachers. They are taught by other kids, parents and the outside world. We need to prepare our kids better for that.


5) Parents need to tell your kids that they are beautiful. This seems obvious but not enough parents do this. Most parents never do this at all.


6) A kid with great self-esteem and self-confidence can do anything and be whatever they want to be. Make sure your child is that way. 




Thank you Kathy Dobbe and to the Kathy Dobbe's everywhere.