Wishing, Hoping and Believing

Wishing, hoping and believing. The three are close in definition. But there's a huge difference. I think people too often get them confused and use them interchangeably to their own disadvantage. I think it is best to know exactly what they mean. Words have meanings and using them incorrectly can cause a disadvantageous situation.

Wish is an intransitive verb. Merriam Webster defines "wish" as, "To have a desire for (as something unattainable)." Related words are, "crave," "hunger," "covet," "desire."


"Unattainable"? Well, that's no good. It looks to me here that "wish" is sort of a waste of time.


"Hope" is defined as, "To cherish as desire with anticipation," or "to desire with expectation of obtainment."  "Expectation of obtainment"? Well, that's a bit better.


How about believing? "Believe" is defined as "To have a firm religious faith" or "to accept something as true, genuine or real."


I think, often times, that wishing and hoping can be a waste of time... Wishing is fine for children... Hoping too... But hoping, for adults, can be an awful waste of time.... I often hear from people at work situations that they "hope" things get better... Folks, "Hope" is a terrible business plan.


Hoping that things get better at work is like being a leaf on the ocean being blown every which way. Is this your plan for your future and for your families well-being? Hope?


Belief....Believing, and only believing, is the only one of the three that can deliver your hearts desire. Believing, along with doing the necessary preparation in order to achieve your beliefs, is what must be done.


Think about when the Wright Brother's made their first airplane flight or the old story in the bible when Jesus walked on water. It was impossible for man to fly. Did the Wright Brothers fly because of hope or because of wishes? No. They flew, in spite of all, because they believed that they could and they made the preparations in order to do so.


I also believe that the story of Jesus walking on water is a parable. Everyone knows that it is impossible for man to walk on water (even if he is the son of god - you and I are the son, the children, of god.... Don't they say we are all god's children?) So, I think the story of Jesus walking on water is a representation that if you believe, really believe, then you can do the impossible. After walking on water Jesus said, "I told you. All you have to do is to believe."


Belief moves mountains.


Also, instead of always wanting more and always climbing that mountain towards success, you also need to stop and make base camp. One cannot simply climb and climb Mount Everest. They must stop along the way to daily create base camp to rest before they can continue the journey the next day. You must do the same. You need to stop and to take an assessment of what you have and to give thanks to your loved ones and to your god.


Here's what I do, and I do this religiously everyday; I write down in my notebook this, "Thank you god for all the truly wonderful things I have and all the truly wonderful things I am about to receive."


I do this because, instead of always wanting and wishing, and hoping, or desiring things, I want to give thanks for the great things I already have. If I can wake up everyday and know in my heart, really believe, that I am one of, if not thee, most fortunate people in the world, I will create a positive and happy existence for myself and my loved ones and all the people who I come in contact with.  


I have another friend who has an ill partner. We met the other day and I related this story to him:


When my 1 1/2 year old daughter was diagnosed as having a rare, deadly childhood cancer, I was devastated. She was given a very low chance of survival. That particular type of cancer is extremely rare and, in Japan, about 2 or 3 kids get it a year... Most of them die within the first 6 months.


I sought out the help of a professional priest to help me and guide me with the battle I was about to enter alongside my daughter and my wife.


One day, at the beginning when I was especially distraught and worried, I told the priest, 


"I have realized how to cure my daughter and have come to understand the way. All I need to do is to get the doctors and nurses to believe, to really believe, in their hearts, that she will recover and then she will. That's what I must do."


To that, the priest replied,


"Mike! It doesn't matter what they believe. All that matters is what you believe."


Those words! That moment! It was like the skies opened up and god reached his hand down to me. 


Of course! It was all so simple! Why didn't I see it sooner? It only matters what I believe! My belief can move mountains! 


From then on, I didn't wish nor want, nor hope, that my daughter would recover from this rare and terrible disease, I knew. I knew it without a doubt. I also prepared and did what was necessary for that outcome because I believed. 


That was 16 years ago. My daughter is now a healthy, happy, beautiful high school student looking forward to college someday soon. 


She is only the second child to have ever overcome that cancer in Japan's history. She won't be the last.

At 16-years-old

You can do this too. Anyone can. Like Jesus said, "All you need to do is to have faith."


From today, take account of all the good things you have. Be thankful for them. If you have a sorrow, then take account of that too and do what is necessary and what is required so that you can believe in a positive and good outcome.


The only things that can be borne out of fear and worry will be more of the same. Prepare and do what is necessary and believe in the positive outcome.


You can create your own reality. You can accomplish the impossible. And when you do, don't be surprised, you won't have been the first and you certainly won't be the last.

Jesus Walks on Water Mark 6:45 ~ 51

⁴⁷ Later that night, the boat was in the middle of the lake, and he was alone on land. ⁴⁸ He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. Shortly before dawn he went out to them, walking on the lake. He was about to pass by them, ⁴⁹ but when they saw him walking on the lake, they thought he was a ghost. They cried out, ⁵⁰ because they all saw him and were terrified.

   Immediately he spoke to them and said, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” ⁵¹ Then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. They were completely amazed.  


For Wendy... You amazed us all (except daddy. I knew you could do it). Thanks for your love and inspiration.

My Best Friend Died

This is a very difficult post to write.


My best friend's name was David. His picture was on the front page of the newspaper. The newspaper said, "David, Father Die in Boating Accident." 

"That's impossible!" I thought. I didn't want to believe it. I read and reread the newspaper article over and over in the hopes that I was misunderstanding what I was reading. I was hoping it meant that 'David's father died. But not David.' 


Forgive me for wishing such a morbid thing, but that's what I thought.


...But there was no misunderstanding. David was dead.


I cried and cried. How could that possibly have happened? I just saw him the day before and we talked and had fun. We always had fun. David was my very best friend.


I think David was everyone's best friend because he was such a nice guy. 


When I heard the news, and realized it wasn't a mistake, I cried all day. I desperately wanted to know how it happened and why it happened. I wanted to know the exact details. I called my friends and, a few days later, they had a school meeting for classmates and explained to us about the accident. 


But I still wasn't satisfied with the details. Besides how and what, I wanted to know "why"? Why did god allow this to happen to my best friend? Why did god allow this to happen to such a good person? 


After all the questions I asked and all the details I found, I found out that they were fishing in the Lake of the Woods. The boat was overloaded and slipped under water and that the dad had tried to save David but the water was too cold and they both drowned.


That's how it happened. That still didn't answer the question for me as to why it happened. 


I was upset. "Why did god allow this to happen?" "Why does god allow bad things to happen to good people?" 


David was 7-years-old and he was boating and fishing with his dad in a lake in Minnesota. The photo of him on the front page of the newspaper was the class photo they took of him from our second grade class. I recognized it immediately.


That was 47 years ago. In 1964.


What a waste. He was a handsome kid. I think I was jealous of him because I thought he was more handsome than me. I wonder what he would have become had he lived? 


I have thought about David off and on over these past decades. Yesterday, memories of David suddenly came back to me like a shot to the head.


My own seven-year-old son was off to a friend's house to play with some other of his friends. I was sleeping on the sofa in the living room when my wife returned from the friend's house and she was very flustered. She woke me up. Her face was all red and she seemed like she was about to cry.


I was still half asleep. She started rambling on about something and it was difficult to follow what she wanted to say. It was concerning one of the boys who was supposed to come and play with my son and the others but couldn't make it that day. When my son's friend's mom had called that boy's father to ask about his absence, the father had said something like "He can't come to play as he is, 'no more.'"


He is "no more?"


My son's friend's mom is not a native English speaker so when my son (and her son) heard this "no more" they were sure she merely misunderstood and laughed about it. Why not? They were just playing with him at school yesterday and kicking the soccer ball around together.


This boy was happy as can be and as fit as a fiddle and had the whole world and his entire life in front of him... He was one of the top students in class. He was one of my son's best friends; he was everyone's best friend. He couldn't be "no more." That couldn't happen.


My son goes to a school with a large international enrollment. There are children at that school who come from all over the world. Some of their parents do not speak English well so sometimes there are miscommunications. My wife told me about this conversation and asked me to confirm if, "...he is, 'no more'" means what we think it means.


I called the boy's house, there was no answer. Then, against my better judgement, and against common courtesy, I called a cell phone number that is listed on the class schedule given to parents to be used in cases of emergency. I talked to the father.


I knew immediately from the tone of his voice what the meaning of "No more" was. It was exactly what you or I would fear it meant.


The poor boy had died the night before. I said, "I'm sorry" and "God bless you all" and hung up the phone. 


I thought immediately of my friend David from so many years ago. Here he was visiting me again. 


I also immediately thought of what I was going to tell my son and his other seven year old friends. Like I said, they didn't believe it. Why should they? It is unbelievable.  


How did this wonderful little boy die? We don't know yet. We will know how someday soon, I reckon. But we will never know "why."


Maybe the "why" is for each of us to decide for ourselves. I'm not sure.


I went to my son's friend's house to report the news. When the mother saw my face, she knew the news. I asked that she sit down and the kids playing to sit down also. I didn't beat around the bush. I told them the truth. 


There was stone silence. 


I'm not a priest, minister or man of the cloth so I didn't know what to say, but everyone was looking at me expectantly so I knew I had to say something. I spoke,


"I'm sure you will find out at school next week what happened to your friend. Now, I don't know. But, even when we find out what happened, it will always be difficult to understand why it happened.... 


When I was a little boy, I had a similar experience; my best friend drowned in a lake. I was so sad. I found out later how he died, but I never found out why. That's been many years ago and I still don't know why....


...All you can do now is to pray that he is happy and in a safe, warm place. And you must thank god for giving you the time you had to spend with this wonderful friend. Of course, you are sad and will miss him, but always thank god for the time you had and shared with your wonderful friend.... he will always be with you in your hearts...


Also remember that life is very short and we have to be very careful everyday. Accidents happen and, even though I am happy and healthy today, I could be hit by a car and killed or put in the hospital tomorrow, so we must be very careful when crossing streets or when walking near cars. It's always the car you don't see that is the one that hits you....


Pray for your friend and his family and always appreciate your friends that you have now. Give them a hug; give your parents a hug and thank god that you have such good friends and a mother and father who loves you very much."


I stuttered and stopped... I looked at their faces and they seemed to be thinking, "What is he talking about?"


I wanted to say, and should have said, something profound but I couldn't. I wanted to say something that would have made it all alright and set things straight. But I couldn't. What I said was lame. It was the minimum that had to be said, I suppose. 


Still silent, the kids all stared at me, eyes wide open and expressionless. The silence filled the room.


I sighed, paused and awkwardly looked at the floor. I didn't know what to do or say. I lightly slapped both hands on my knees and stood up. I meekly told the mother that I'd be back in a few hours to pick up my son as the kids held hands.


The kids were sad but they weren't crying. I think they still found it unbelievable that their friend could actually be gone so it hasn't sunk in what exactly has happened.


It may not sink in for 40 or 50 years. It didn't for me. Even then, as with me, they might know how, but they will probably never know exactly, "why"? 


Come to think of it, is there really ever a reason "why"?


There are lessons, I suppose. The lesson for me is that bad things do happen to good people. That can't be stopped. The only thing we can do is to try to learn something from it that can help the survivors to lead happier lives and become better people.


Later on when my son comes home, I'm going to hug him and try to explain the saying my good friend Ken always lives by. Ken says,


"Dream as if you will live forever. Live as if you will die tomorrow."


I hope the lesson of David and my son's friend helps my own son and his friends. I also hope it helps others as it has helped me, to become, if even a little bit, a better person (I hope). It has taken me nearly 50 years to write down this tribute to my dear friend David. Now, his death taught me a lesson that I can teach my son.


Remember to hug your kids today and tell them that you love them and that they are beautiful. And, of course, teach them to dream and to live each day to the fullest and to appreciate all the wonderful things this earth and god has given us.


They say that tomorrow never comes, but tomorrow, I think, tomorrow often comes much too quickly.

Recurring Dreams and Alternate Universes

I think most people have recurring dreams. If most people don't, then maybe I am just weird because I have had the same five recurring dreams over and over for these last 27 years. Do you have recurring dreams? 

Since moving to Japan, I have had basically five recurring dreams. But, now that I think about it, one of these dreams, the dreams of me flying like a bird or a jet plane, stopped a few years ago.


I wonder why my dreams of flight have disappeared? Maybe because I turned 50 and stopped dreaming like a 17-year-old? No, I don't think it is that because I still feel like a 17-year-old many times (just won't be doing the crazy things I used to do).


The first of the five recurring dreams I've had was flying in the skies. They started when I was a small boy. In my dreams could fly like Icarus. Can you fly in your dreams? Those are fun dreams... Sometimes, I guess when my condition wasn't so great, I'd have a hard time achieving lift-off in my dream. I'd have to run and flap my arms as hard as I could until I took off. Sometimes it was a great effort and I had to try over and over. Other times, I was just like a graceful bird; a tiny step and jump and I was off soaring like an eagle in the clouds.


Then, when I got to about 30 or so, I could fly like a jet plane. In fact, many times I knew I was dreaming and that I was flying. I figured it was some sort of alternate universe and so I rode it like a snow-boarder rides the snow or a surfer rides the waves. I knew I was dreaming but didn't care. When  could really fly and fly like a rocket, doing a thousand miles and hour, I would consider flying over the Pacific Ocean and going to the United States to fly over my parents house.


Weird thing is that I would fly out a few hundred miles from the coast of Japan, look over the water, and turn around because I'd start getting scared. Scared that I would wake up and be flying over the cold ocean, fall into it, and have to swim back. I used to be a good swimmer, but not that good. Being so high over such deep water freaked me out so I'd turn back. Even though I knew it was just a dream.


The other problem with flying to the USA like a 747 in my dreams was that, at such high speeds, I had a difficult time turning and would often continue on a straight line when I wanted to make a hard left turn.


Sounds ridiculous because it was all a dream and I knew it, but I also felt that, somewhere in my heart, dreams were and alternate universe and a reflection on reality. I guess I still do.


Another dream that often occurred was fishing. I love fishing. Before I moved to japan, I went fishing every week. Sometimes two or three times a week. Fishing is heaven. Fishing is spiritual and fishing is close to God.

There is a saying about fishing. It goes like this: "Do you know what the difference is between a religious man and a spiritual man? A religious man goes to church and thinks about fishing. A spiritual man goes fishing and thinks about god."


I am a spiritual man. I'd go fishing everyday of the week if I could.


I used to dream about fishing at least once a week when I first came to Japan. Sometimes I dreamt about it every night for days in a row. That's because it is difficult to go fishing in Japan and I had been an avid fisherman since I was a small boy living in Minnesota. Minnesota is known as the "Land of 10,000 Lakes" so fishing is a lifestyle there.


Fishing in Japan, Tokyo especially, though, is a chore. Japan is a crowded place and the good areas for fishing on the coastline are usually taken by the local fishing collective so they don't take too kindly to your fishing in their good spots... In fact, they might give you the boot up the ass if they catch you fishing in their prime areas. Going fishing in Japan is not like the USA where you can just grab a rod and reel and head off to the lake or shoreline. In Japan, fishing is an all-day expedition like 18 holes of golf: You need a plan and it costs lots of money.


My other two recurring dreams, or maybe I should say nightmares, are related to work. Whenever work is going poorly or I worry about bankruptcy or the economy going down the tubes (an understandable and common recent worry since 2008) I have bad dreams of returning to the USA and going back to my old jobs. 


The worse job is returning to Prudential to the same old office and working with those dishonest people that I wrote about yesterday in Working With Thieves, Liars and Crooks. The weird part of the dream is that I am always scheming about returning to Japan and, even after one year, haven't sold one single contract yet they do not fire me in my dream.


Talk about being able to live off one's laurels!


The other work-related dream is that I go back to working at a Sears, Roebuck and Company in Ventura, California (it was in Oxnard when I worked there, but has since moved causing the city of Oxnard to sue the city of Ventura, but that's another story about the insanity of the USA).


When I was 17 I started working at Sears in the catalogue ordering department and then transferred to commission sales in the Photo & Office Equipment department. As a commission salesman, I made a heck of a lot of money in the late 1970's.


In my dreams, for some bizarre reason, I go back there and have to work in the sewing machine and vacuum cleaner department selling poorly made and badly designed Sears equipment. The nightmarish part of the entire thing, besides selling this poorly designed and quite unstylish junk, the same management is there at the company running around doing their weird hijinks.


There is the store manager, whose name escapes me, but he was a very short, yet handsome man. He dumped his beautiful wife and four beautiful daughters (whom he often brought to the store) to marry another woman (who he soon also brought to the store). I always noticed the daughter because they were very beautiful girls. He got his lightening strike from god when, soon after the divorce and marriage, he was diagnosed with some sort of brain cancer. No kidding. I think he soon died after that. 


Then there was a guy named Walter who was a section chief who was married but he ran around unable to control his libido and was trying to take every woman working at the store to bed. I guess his wife got fed up with it one day and dumped him and got another boyfriend.


Walt, being like the immature little boy he was, then decided that he wanted his "toy" back (the wife he disrespected and treated like sh*t) and, from what I understand, went screaming drunk to the boyfriend's house while she was there and started banging on the door and breaking it down.


The boyfriend shot him and killed him.


Later, after the funeral that I didn't attend, many Sears employees were complaining that the wife was wearing black but didn't seem sad. I heard them complaining about that and said nothing. It did nothing for me but confuse me as to what was really important to these people and what they were thinking about. 


There were lots of really weird things going on at Sears at that time. I found the same types of problems when I got myself transferred to the Sears in San Fernando Valley and found that store, too, was full of some very twisted people whose priorities were not success of the business and success of their personnel and staff but protection of their position and attempting to continue their lives acting like high school students with their idiotic politics and clicks.


But, I digress....


These are the recurring dreams I often have. Even in the case of Sears or my old jobs, it is nice to be able to see my old friends and to remember them in their beautiful youth. Even when I have nightmares, I am able to realize that they are nightmares and am able to view them like a movie so they rarely scare me. 


I went to see my sick old dad a few weeks ago. He wasn't the same person that I will always remember. In my dreams, he is a young and handsome 30+ some year old Marine wrestling with us kids in the yard. For the sick, aged and ill, dreams are an escape. Back to better times and the treasures of youth. 


Surely, dreams are one of the best things about living that there could possibly be. I look forward to sleeping every night and I look forward to the dreams of my youth.

How about your dreams? I think if you wake up and think, "Today is going to be great" and you keep track and write down your goals, you can control your dreams and make sure they are positive. Try it. For more on that, read, One Easy Step to Becoming a Better Parent and More Successful at Life.

Preventing Disasters in Business and Personal Affairs

Disasters happen all the time. No one likes disasters, even the little ones we joke about in our daily lives, like spilled coffee. Natural disasters cannot be prevented. Personal and business ones often can.

JOHNNY NASH - I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW

Of course many disasters may hit us unexpectedly, these we must use our wits to react to positively. A negative or defeatist attitude to any sort of disaster will only make things worse. For example, you are diagnosed with a disease like cancer. What do you do? Do you take the defeatist attitude and worry and fear for your life? Or do you take this as just one more challenge, like all the rest, to be overcome?


Everyone knows what will happen to you if you fear and worry. Everyone knows of the "Self-fulfilling prophecy." 


The self-fulling prophecy works both ways too. It can be a terrible result or a positive result. You are the one who controls what the prophesy is about.


If you are stuck by disaster, then the best thing to do is to start training your mind for positivity. A sick or depressed mind will yield sick or depressed results. A positive mind will yield positive results. Is there anyone who can deny this? 


Two people have so-called terminal cancer. The first person is devastated and becomes clinically depressed. The second person accepts the condition and takes a positive attitude and decides that they will recover.


Which person do you think will have the best chances of a full recovery? Why is it that some people recover and others don't?


Great things and great ideas and conditions are borne out of positive thinking and cleanliness. Good and great things are not borne out of fear, depression or darkness. Depression and fear can only result in negative outcomes.


Besides positive reactions to disasters, often times many disasters can be prevented! Really! Preparation and thought can often prevent disasters or, at least, mitigate their damage, especially when it comes to business and personal affairs.


Once again, a positive attitude comes into play.


If you have that important meeting and, before that meeting, you worry and consistently run over and over in your mind the possible negative results, or the worst-case scenario, then you will probably create a self-fulfilling prophesy; You most likely will create that worst case outcome. But, if you use your mind to run over positive results, through positive mental imaging, then your chances of getting those positive results increases exponentially. 


We cannot prevent natural disasters. We can only dampen or moderate their damage through preparation and forethought and a positive attitude. 


Personal and business disasters are much easier to control as we can often prevent them from happening through mental imaging of positive outcomes and considerate forethought. We must work proactively instead of reactively to problems before they happen. 


If you practice positive imaging before an important meeting, imagining a positive outcome, instead of fearing the worst, you can create your own reality. You can create that positive outcome that you so desire. 


A positive attitude is everything. Preparation and forethought are priceless forms of insurance. Don't wait for others to bring you good news or positivity, bring it to them first.


Always spread the light to others first and, by doing so, you bring the light to you. 


Remember: You spread the light; you win.


You can do it today and everyday. It is just the flick of a switch from "on" to "off" and from "positive" to "negative." They are all, after all, two different sides of the same coin.


It's up to you to decide which face of that coin is "up."

LOUIS ARMSTRONG - WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD

Watch the videos! Be positive! Have a great day!