My Son Died Yesterday

Have you ever stopped to wonder just how close  - just how many seconds away - you or a loved one are from total and complete disaster? 

Specifically, I am talking about the disaster of death. The death of a loved one, a child, or even yourself? How often do you think about how different your world would be without that child or loved one? 


Perhaps I am strange because I think about these things often. Perhaps it's because I think I shouldn't be here and am very lucky to be here - I should be dead. I think this way because of past experiences and I often wonder what my purpose in life is.


I probably think about life and death more often than would be considered "healthy."


This might sound morbid, but I have a point to make to you, so bear with me: Have you ever stopped to appreciate how many times during the day that you or your child are just inches or seconds away from death? Really! Have you ever stopped to consider that accidents might be occurring all around us? The near miss, the "almosts" the "very lucky" near escapes? Some of these "missed" accidents should have happened but, by some miracle, large or small, didn't? 

I do think about these things a lot. In fact, I did just yesterday and I certainly didn't want to, nor did I expect to. I thought about it as we were having fun...


Yesterday, I saw my child's death not ten meters (yards) right in front of my face and there wasn't a thing I could do to stop it. He was dead on the spot. A truck hit him from behind and dragged his body 25 meters down the road under the tires...


Well, that's what could have happened. That's what did happen, excepting, by some twist of fate, by the grace of god, the truck was seconds past us and hurtling down the street. That's what I saw happening in my mind...


It was an ordinary Monday afternoon. We had just came home from school and my son wanted to ride his bike down to the river. He rarely rides his bike and I want him to enjoy sports and the outdoors more so I always encourage him to walk more and ride his bike more.

Yesterday was very close to being the last day we ever did this

Right now, though, it's the middle of winter here in Japan, and quite cold, so it seems strange that my son wants to suddenly ride his bike all the time. But, I didn't want to deny his wishes especially when I can't get him to ride enough.


We came home from school and bundled up in warm clothes and he put on his bicycle helmet and off we went. We usually ride down to Tamagawa river through a wonderful park trail that we call "the magic trail." We call it that because I haven't bothered to find out what the real name of the trail and park are.


It was a fun ride down to the end of the trail down by the river.


We headed back towards home. On the way back, we have to cross a busy street named "Tsutsumi Dori." This is a street that is cursed with quite heavy traffic. The speed limit is 40 kilometers per hour (about 24 mph) but, as drivers are wont to do, most people drive 50 to 60 kilometers per hour (between 30 ~ 40 mph). This doesn't sound too fast but trust me, in Japan roads are very narrow, and when a 8 ton truck rumbles by you not one meter (3 feet) from your head, you can feel their force and power. The trucks are there because there is a cement factory up the road so these large cement mixer trucks are often barrelling up the street to load up on cement there. 


It is a busy street and dangerous.


It is dangerous enough that there is a crosswalk, not far from the magic trail, that we use to cross that street. Seriously, folks I am one to not usually wait for green lights at crosswalks, but this street is so narrow, and the cars are going so fast, and there are so many side street tributaries that anyone really has to be careful when crossing this street. I always use the crosswalk to cross this particular street.


Usually, it's not the car that you see that is dangerous, it's the ones you don't see that are dangerous.

A rare photo of Tsutsumi Dori when there are no cars on it. Anyway, from this photo you can see that this is a narrow street and if a child jumps out onto it, and you are doing 40 mph, you can't stop in time.

I was walking behind my son as we were on the return trip. We had just come out of the magic trail and onto the side of Tsutsumi Dori. That's when it happened; not 80 meters (yards) before the red light that marks the crosswalk, my son on his small bike, abruptly made a very sharp right turn and started crossing the busy street! I couldn't believe my eyes.


My world stopped and began turning in slow motion. He entered the busy road without even a glance to his right rear where cars would be coming up, at great speeds, right behind him. Within a eighth of a second, he was 1/2 way into the lane. Even if a vehicle had seen him enter the lane, he did it so suddenly that they could have never stopped in time. I expected to hear screeching tires....


The sounds blurred. The seconds were going by as if they were minutes. I wanted to shout "Stop!" but I couldn't, he was already in the lane. I thought, "He's dead!" In slow motion, I looked behind me to my right, where I expected to see a truck or car slamming on their brakes... Never in time to stop... It would be impossible to stop.


That's when I saw what should have happened. The truck hitting my son from behind and hurtling him dozens of meters in the air and under the wheels of an oncoming vehicle... His life and the crying of my wife and her parents flashed in front of my eyes... The guilt... My fault.... 


But....... thank god....... there wasn't any vehicle there. The lane was clear.


As my son was nearing the middle line dividing the lanes... I looked towards the oncoming traffic lane and there was a motorcycle coming up at high speeds but the driver of the bike saw my son from a distance and slowed down.


I screamed!


.........


After the motorcycle passed, immediately, as fast as I could, I crossed the street and quite angrily began berating my son for crossing the street without even looking for cars... I was shouting at him furiously! He knew I was very angry and began crying. 


He crossed busy street on his bicycle without even looking! I was so angry that I could feel that I was losing control of myself. I wanted to slap him in the face but I only whacked him on the back - he was wearing a heavy jacket so it was light - but when I kicked him in the ass (literally) and kicked him pretty hard, he was bawling. I am ashamed to say that it was the third time in his life that I have ever spanked or struck him.

Japanese cement truck. See the narrow space on the right. Imagine this: The truck is doing 40. A kid abruptly turns a hard right a few feet in front of this truck. Is the truck going to be able to stop?

Last night, I was drained. I realized just how close I was to having my life turned upside down. I realized just how close I was to losing one of the big motivations and purposes in my life. I'm sure that, if he had been hit by a car, he'd have died or been permanently scarred or crippled for life.


How many seconds did we miss that one by? Two? Three?


If that had happened, I probably would have drank heavily last night and been totally useless for the next six months. I'd probably lose my job and want to kill myself. And all for what? Because of an accident that could have been avoided and because of carelessness.


Oh how close these things happen to all of us and our children everyday. I think we must all appreciate that fact. We must be thankful for the truly wonderful things we have.


This morning, I had a nice talk with my son. I told him that "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." I think he definitely understands just how lucky he was yesterday. 


I certainly do.


There are two morals to today's story. First: "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." I feel my son was given a chance (me too). Actually that's the second time something like that happened to him. The first time was when he was 4 or so, and, suddenly, without any warning, he dashed out and ran onto a busy road. I was furious then too and spanked him.


We cannot hold our children on leashes or in chains all their lives. We cannot be sure what fate awaits us or them. All we can know is that today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Let us all live for today and appreciate the things we have.


The second moral is this: Driver's remember that there are children around like my child, who, for some completely unexplained reason, will do things like jump out into traffic. If you hit one of these children, your life and the life of your family life could be ruined. 


Remember that speed limits are not targets. Slow down and drive carefully. 


If you have the time, do yourself a favor and watch this short video:

"Who are you to make such claims?" Complaints Bloggers (I) Receive

Sometimes in posts on this blog, I want to warn people with small children about dangerous diseases and illnesses that can be prevented easily. But sometimes people will write thing like, "Who are you to make such claims?" Or like in yesterday's post, a comment like this, "You seriously are comparing the worst nuclear disaster ever, to flu shots. (sic) You are a sick individual." 


I get lots of hate mail especially when I compare the risks of everyday occurrences with a media sensationalized story like Fukushima.


Challenges. Those are comments that I often get... Along with invective and personal insults. I try not to insult these people back. I like to think that the big electrode, God, Buddha, Zig Zag, what-have-you, in the sky put these people on the earth to teach me patience and how to be a better person.


Kindness to people works wonders!

My third daughter Wendy.  Some say she is handicapped. 
I say she is "just perfect!"

The most recent attacks I have received are because I have warned parents about serious problems, diseases and illnesses that can affect their children and I use Fukushima sensationalism as a comparison. People will grossly overreact to Fukushima, over a hundred miles away, but when serious causes of diseases (that get little media attention) are right under their noses, they are oblivious. 


To pat myself on the back (once again) as a mass media professional for over thirty years, I know what kind of BS goes on with news reporting and sensationalism as I have seen it from the inside. And, with four kids, I hope I know a bit about raising children. In fact, because of 4 kids, and one of them defeating a rare, deadly childhood disease - yet remaining handicapped for the rest of her life - I know more than most parents would ever want to know about raising kids and diseases like childhood cancer.


Many times I have pointed out that we cannot believe what we hear on the TV news and even so-called alternative media. The sensationalism sells advertising. That's the point and, in this day and age, it astounds me that most people today say they know that, but when it comes to something like Swine Flu or Fukushima, they seem to forget it. I am beginning to think that this selective response is due to some childhood phobias. Please refer to: Japan Nuclear Disaster Update & Strong Criticism of Western Media Sensationalism:

Actually, it astounds me that people do accept what what the media says as gospel truth. Don't forget that this is the very same media that told us 3 years ago that Swine Flu was going to kill more than 50 million people worldwide. This was the same media that told us that the USA had to invade Iraq because of Saddam's nooklar weapons. This was the same media that told us that SARS also was a killer virus that was going to wipe out entire populations. This was the same media that told us that Bird Flu was going to do the same.

As of today, worldwide  deaths from Swine Flu: 82. No nuclear weapons for Saddam (if he had any, do you really think we would have invaded Iraq?). Worldwide deaths from SARS: 100. Worldwide deaths from Bird Flu: 80. Don't even get me started on Man Made Global Warming!

Fact of the matter is that this is the same media who constantly exaggerates stories in order to sell advertising space to an extremely gullible public. When will people ever learn? If history is any example then the answer is: Never. They'll never learn.

Just wait a year or three for the next killer disease and we can start all over again.  

So, I write posts like the above pointing out problems with the media. Then I write articles alerting people to serious cancer and disease causing problems that, while not trendy, nor spectacularly newsworthy, are actually much more dangerous to our children than Fukushima will ever be. For one example of that, please refer to: 

Benzene in Cars! This Will Kill More People Than Fukushima Will 

Do not turn on A/C immediately as soon as you enter the car! Please open the windows after you enter your car and do not turn on the air-conditioning immediately.

According to research done, the car dashboard, sofa, air freshener emits Benzene, a cancer causing toxin (carcinogen - take note of the heated plastic smell in your car). In addition to causing cancer, it poisons your bones, causes anemia, and reduces white blood cells. Prolonged exposure will cause Leukemia, increasing the risk of cancer. may also cause miscarriage.

Acceptable Benzene levels indoors is 50 mg per sq. ft.. A car parked with windows closed will contain 400 - 800 mg of Benzene. If parked outdoors, under the sun, at temperature above 60 degrees F (15.5 C), the Benzene level goes up to 2000 - 4000 mg, 40 times the acceptable level... And the people inside the car will inevitably inhale an excess amount of the toxins.

It is recommended that you open the windows and doors to give time for the interior to air out before you enter. Benzene is a toxin that affects your kidney and liver, and it is very difficult for your body to expel this toxic stuff.

Or even my most recent post: 

Massive Cover-up! Worse Than Fukushima? Japan (and the World Over) Danger Levels at More Than 250 X Safe Limit!

Here are the facts: 300 death claims from flu vaccine. And Flu vaccines and neurological problems (caused Guillian Barre Syndrome in over 500 people). These two links show over 800 deaths and nerve damage vaccine related illnesses from, you guessed it, flu shots in one year alone! So far deaths or illness from Fukushima: Zero. 

Because of these posts, though, I will get attacked by people who ask me what right or authority I have to mention anything about diseases like this or children's cancer. Perhaps I am confused, but here is where I think my authority lies. My authority lies in my dearest third daughter whom I love deeply and will spend the rest of my life caring for and trying to help other parents (and their children) to prevent a similar struggle. 


So let me give my qualifications. First, my darling daughter, Wendy. One day, when she was age 1 1/2, she suddenly could not walk anymore. It was very strange. One day she was running around, the next day she couldn't stand. Soon after, she was diagnosed with 4th stage of a rare form of children's cancer called Rhabdomysarcoma. The doctors said it was incurable and her diagnosis was poor. She, like all children diagnosed with this horrible disease, was only expected to live for 2 ~ 6 months. 


As some may know, 4th stage cancer is the worst and final stages. The doctors at Setagaya Children's Hospital told me that she had virtually no chance. But I fought back. We fought back. 


I fired those doctors and hired the #1 expert in Japan (and top doctor in the world for this type of cancer - Dr. Mugishima at Nichidai hospital in Itabashi Tokyo) to handle my daughter. I fired the first group of doctors because they said, "Virtually zero chance." Dr. Mugishima gave us a 7% chance. Good enough. Better than zero. If your doctor doesn't think you have a chance, then that's not good. Fire them.


As part of the new doctor's regime, my then wife had to move into the hospital with my daughter 24/7 and that left me at home with two small girls to care for by myself and to try to hold down a job too! In spite of that, I took care of those two girls, and visited my daughter and wife in the hospital everyday religiously for over two years. 


The hospital cost me an impossible amount to pay. It was well over $10,000 a month every month for those 2 years (insurance doesn't pay for private hospitals and choices) and yet I paid it out of my pocket with no loans (Heck, I was a foreigner in Japan, my wife was in the hospital with my daughter, I had no assets, who's going to give me a loan? No one.) Yet, even with all this, I held down my job, paid for everything, cooked and cleaned and we came out victorious in a war with a deadly disease. 


When my daughters cancer was declared in full remission she was released from the hospital with one big caveat: Because of the treatment, her immune system was so damaged that she was not allowed to live with other children for six years because she would be catching all sorts of illness (from her sisters who played with other children at school who caught colds all the time). And those illnesses might kill her. 


After two years apart in the hospital and then another six years apart (at least) for the future, and me with a 11-year-old and a 9-year-old from a previous marriage, my wife and I decided it was best to get a divorce. In over 80% of all cases where a child in Japan gets cancer in Japan, the parents wind up in divorce. The pressure and stress are too great.


My daughter is now a high school student and looking forward to college. She is wheelchair bound for life but one of the happiest and most positive people you could ever hope to meet. I wish my other daughters were so happy!


Japan has a population of about 130 million people. Only about two or three children per year get this rare form of cancer. Nearly all of them do not survive. My daughter was only the second one in history of Japan, since it started cancer study with Germany and the USA in 1971, to do so.


These are my qualifications. I don't think they are so bad. 


UPDATE: People need to get their priorities straight. For example, did you know that: In the U.S., the odds of being killed by conventional medicine are almost 20 times (2,000%) greater than being killed in an automobile accident and almost 30 times (3,000%) greater than being killed by a gun. - From Confessions of a Drug Industry Insider.


*If any parents have such a challenge to deal with, please write to me and perhaps I can give some advice that may be helpful... I will try.

Toyota No Longer #1 Drops to #3

Yep, it's true, after three years as #1, Toyota drops to #3.


Carscoop has the story: 

"Well, it was almost certain to happen after the March 11 earthquake and Tsunami hit Japan causing multiple problems to the country's automotive industry. Toyota, the world’s largest carmaker, saw its production drop by 23% to 3.37 million units for the first half of the year - and includes sales of Lexus, Daihatsu and Hino vehicles. 

As a result, the Japanese company lost the title of the world’s largest automaker that it held since 2008 to General Motors, which saw its sales rise by 8.9% to 4.536 million units for the first six months of 2011. For the time being, second place goes to the Volkswagen Group which sold 4.13 million units worldwide." 


I wonder what the odds UK bookies are giving for Toyota to return to #2 in 2012? It might be hard to conceive, but with the German economy steaming right along and the Japanese economy mired in the doldrums and our debt at 200%+ of GDP, it's hard to imagine that Japan can get back on top anytime soon.


Monday's Nikkei stock market opening, after the USA credit rating getting cut, should be an interesting fireworks display to watch.

Radioactive air filters in cars!?

Arnie Gundersen says something really stupid again. Now he claims that there is dangerous radioactive "Hot Particles" in Tokyo car air filters and that this radiation is deadly yet it cannot be detected. This is getting really ridiculous. Seriously, is this old age, dementia or Alzheimer's with this guy?


His most recent idiocy is on Al Jazeera with an article entitled, Fukushima: It's much worse than you think.


Radioactive air filters from cars in Fukushima prefecture and Tokyo are now common, and Gundersen says his sources are finding radioactive air filters in the greater Seattle area of the US as well.


No. Gundersen, besides normal levels, there no "common" radiation finding in car filters in Tokyo. Fukushima is not much worse than we think. Your wild imagination and fast progressing senility is much worse than we, or even you, think. 

BRAZILIAN TROPICAL ORCHESTRA - FOOL ON THE HILL

"Radioactive air filters from cars in Fukushima prefecture and Tokyo are now common"!? That's just total and complete bullsh*t. Jeez Louise, Gundersen, the ground around us emits natural radiation all the time! So does the sun! I'm sure that all cars emit some levels of radiation. It is a course of common sense. 


Are these levels of radiation dangerous or something to be concerned about? Not according to the University of Washington. But facts haven't stopped Gundersen yet from auditioning for the lead role in the new Chicken Little movie...


Well, I think, Arnie, you are failing miserably. If anything, the more you talk, the dumber you look. The only ones who look stupider are the mass and alternative media who blindly pass on your nonsense without taking a few minutes to research (or even think about for a moment) what you say. 


Just to show you what a crock of sh*t this idiocy Gundersen is saying is, I just did a Japanese language Google search looking for "車のエアフィルター　放射能." (In English this is "Automobile air filter + radiation"). There are zero results for this search excepting articles that refer to Gundersen as a source. Get that? Zero. Zip. Nada. Zilch. Gundersen, you are caught red-handed! You are making up sh*t again.


Here's a screen capture of all results:

Are there any readers and Gundersen fanatics who do not believe me? Here's a shortened URL to the Google search: http://bit.ly/lUUYH0. I hope that, by now, dear reader knows how to use Google Translation.


The Al Jazeera article continues with more fluff about dangers:

According to Gundersen, the exposed reactors and fuel cores are continuing to release microns of caesium, strontium, and plutonium isotopes. The hot particles on them can eventually lead to cancer.

"We are discovering hot particles everywhere in Japan, even in Tokyo," he said. "Scientists are finding these everywhere. Over the last 90 days these hot particles have continued to fall and are being deposited in high concentrations. A lot of people are picking these up in car engine air filters."


The hot particles on them can eventually lead to cancer.


"These get stuck in your lungs or GI tract, and they are a constant irritant," he explained, "One cigarette doesn't get you, but over time they do. These [hot particles] can cause cancer, but you can't measure them with a Geiger counter. 


Wait a minute, Grandpa! You just put your foot in your mouth again... What's this? You are quoted as saying at least three stupid things in one breath here: 


In one part you say about "Hot particles" that:


"Scientists are finding these everywhere."


Yet, you do not name these scientists. All the while you say that these "Hot Particles" are dangerous you also claim: 


"...you can't measure them (hot particles) with a Geiger counter."


Riiiiiiight. They are radioactive and dangerous but we can't measure them witha Geiger counter!? Earth to Gundersen! Earth to Gundersen! According to Wikipedia about "Hot Particles", under the heading "Attributes" it clearly states:


Hot particles can be identified by a Geiger counter, or by autoradiography. Their age and origin can be determined by their isotopic signature.


In a previous article, Gundersen makes another unsubstantiated claim. It is an audio interview with him. Here's a snippet from an interview with another fool named Chris Martenson who needs a convenient slap right up side the head too:


“Arnie Gundersen said he received 7 used auto air filters that came from Tokyo, probably from a repair shop. Five of them had no traces of radiation, but two of them were heavily irradiated. He said the fallout will be patchy..."


OK. I'm game, Arnie, old boy. Just how did you detect these Hot Particles in air filters "from Tokyo" (by the way, do you have a receipt and proof they are from Tokyo?) when you claim that the radiation, which is normally detected with a Geiger counter, is not detectable with a Geiger counter? Are you using some sort of sodium iodide crystal device or Ion chamber? Or is it just alchemy or some sort of magic potion? 


If your results would stand up to scrutiny, then why don't you make these results public (a Youtube video would be great - you seem to like being on Youtube) and also why can't you make these claims available for confirmation by other scientists (and no, I don't mean the "scientists" that you always refer to but never name) using the Scientific Method? 


Or do we all have to go and take your word for it?... The word of a guy who makes claims about all sorts of things using "anecdotal evidence" mysterious "sources" and other claims as proof?


It gets even more silly... Gundersen goes on to compare the dangers of "Hot Particles" in car filters to to the dangers of... are you ready for it?... Cigarette smoking!!! Laughable!


"One cigarette doesn't get you, but over time they do."


So, what you are saying Gundersen is that, besides not being able to keep your  story straight, with all the pollutants in our foods, water, industrial contaminants in the air and chemicals in our over processed foods, you think that this most recent news from your "sources" (Guffaw!) is cause enough for you to scare people and cause hysteria because the level of radiation is comparable to smoking cigarettes over a long time? 

This guy looks well over 75, maybe 80. Is anyone surprised when 

an over 75-year-old guy says some pretty wild stuff?

Oh please! Someone make sure Grandpa Gundersen gets his rest and makes sure he properly takes his meds everyday and on time. This guy is losing it quickly.


Grandpa, why don't you warn people about heart disease or high blood pressure? That kills tens of thousands more times the numbers of people annually than cigarette smoking does. From the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention here's the numbers for deaths of the leading causes of deaths (2007):

• Heart disease: 616,067
• Cancer: 562,875
• Stroke (cerebrovascular diseases): 135,952
• Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 127,924
• Accidents (unintentional injuries): 123,706

From the same site, in 1990, deaths attributed to smoking were, get this... 5,619! That's the most recent information I could find. Sales of cigarettes and tobacco products keep declining every year so I imagine that they've found it a waste of money to keep track of this anymore.


But Gundersen wants to compare the big bad "Hot Particles" to the evils of smoking when you have over a 200,000% higher chance of dying from heart disease or cancers (food preservatives, chemicals, too much salt, and car accidents). I also showed the relative dangers of this in a previous post entitled: For Every One Death Due to Nuclear Power, 4,000 Die Due to Coal in which the title of the post speaks for itself.


Gee, Arnie, why don't you do something more useful with your 15 minutes of fame and urge people to slow down and drive more safely? That would save a hell of a lot more lives than this nonsense you keep saying... 


Oh, but then again, I forgot. You work in the nuclear industry advising people on how to decommission nuke plants and not as an adviser to automobile safety organizations. But, nah! You don't have any conflicts of interest.


You are a REAL scientist!


Gundersen is a joke. I've already blasted Arnie for saying stupid stuff before. In Metallic Tastes in Mouths Prove Nuclear Disaster in Japan! Or Does it? I wrote:

Once again, Arnie Gundersen and a bunch of illogical panic stricken fools say something stupid about Fukushima and radiation. 

They are now saying that there is "anecdotal evidence" of people having a metallic taste in their mouths and, from this, they draw the wild conclusion that this means there is an uncontrollable nuclear chain reaction going on at Fukushima. This nonsense has no basis in science, reality, nor does it have any evidence backing it up. It is fantasy.. 


"Anecdotal eveidence!" Isn't that hilarious? I already showed you how he has motivation for saying this and a possible conflict of interest (making him no more credible than, say, George Bush)... And speaking of "air" and "filters" I ripped him a new air-hole when he claimed that "the winds have now shifted and are blowing from Fukushima to Tokyo." 


This most recent rubbish is just plain embarrassing. I guess the mass media is now latching onto Gundersen because they realize (as I demonstrated) that their last "expert" Michio Kaku was definitely a few CDs short of a boxed set. But, they'll soon see that Gundersen isn't any better.


I suspect, one day soon, people are going to realize that, when it comes to Gundersen, we are talking about a senior citizen here who seems to be losing his grip on reality. Anyone who has a father or mother over 75 or so, may have had  this experience. 

But I guess I shouldn't be too hard on the old guy. I mean, think about it, they say that radiation causes all sorts of damage to the body and to the human brain. There's no argument there. Gundersen also claims that he worked in the nuclear industry for over 38 years (something that has been proven as a gross exaggeration along with his claims of many of his other "qualifications" here)... If anything, I suppose that means that the nonsense he says is the best proof so far that radiation is damaging to humans. 


OK. Let's say that he did work at nuke plants for 38 years... That and Gundersen repeatedly spewing out unconfirmed, hysterical nonsense is a great argument that radiation does cause brain damage.