The Best Children's Sports Park and Obstacle Course in Tokyo!

I found a most wonderful place to take the kids for a day out in the sun and for some great excitement, fun, sports and adventure. It is called Heiwa no Mori Koen Field Athletic Course (平和の森公園 フィールドアスレチックコース)  and it's about a ten minute walk from Keihin Kyuko Heiwajima station or a ten minute bus ride from JR Omori station. 


The Heiwa no Mori Koen Field Athletic Course is an obstacle course for kids. The entire course, from start to finish has 40 obstacles that the kids have to challenge. There's climbing giant rope and wood jungle gym types of structures to climbing over walls using ropes to jungle bars and rowing across ponds full of deadly piranhas (oh, and I'm kidding about the piranhas part). You and your child could have a wonderful time at this fun park.


I'd say that it is best for children between the ages of 6 to 12 but younger ages will also have a blast at this park as mom and dad can help them out with the obstacles that are too scary!


Yesterday, I went there with a bunch of 8 and 9 year olds to chaperon for a birthday party and I also wanted to check out the facilities. I was very impressed. The Heiwa no Mori Koen Field Athletic Course is run by the local government (please don't get me started on what the heck the local government is doing running an athletic course for kids, as that's another story) but admission for children was an incredibly low ¥100! Adults are ¥360!


Okay. I've found the best and cheapest place to enjoy a Saturday or Sunday in Tokyo for under ¥500! Parking is available and dirt cheap (I parked for more than three hours and it was only ¥600).


This place is a real diamond in the rough, folks! I think this is one of the best and most refreshing and healthy places you could take your kids to on a day and have some real fun!


The kids love it!... (Thanks to Mr. & Mrs. Patrick Humphrys) 

Here is a map of the park at the entrance featuring all the obstacles. See a larger map online here.

Looks daunting. It is, but safe. Kids start at the left, climb over the log, up the ramp, 

then climb down the rope ladder on the other side.

In the west they might call this the Tom Sawyer ride. In Japan it's like Issun Boshi.

There were about 5 huge structures like this that are fun to look at as they 

are to challenge and climb! Take your child and have them bring a few friends! 

Great for a kid's birthday party!

Heck, this one looked so fun even I wanted to ride it... (But I'm afraid of heights!)

Not quite as tough as the Marines or Navy Seals, but pretty darned tough for an 8 year old... 

What kid wouldn't go crazy over riding in a basket over the dangerous valley?

Speaking of danger, watch out for the crocodiles and piranhas! Moms! Dads! 

Definitely need to bring extra clothes & shoes two kids fell in when I was there! 

The kids would get to the top of one of these and want to stay there. 

I had to tell them to hurry to the next obstacle.

This area kind of reminded me of Disneyland's Adventureland... 

It just looked like fun and the obstacles didn't disappoint! At this obstacle

kids had to help each other to get across. Team work!

Running across the floating logs? Yep. Scary and a distinct possibility of getting wet!

Older kids can do this... But I even saw parents with 3 or 4 years old kids 

and the moms and dads carried their kids while they challenged 

the obstacles... A great time together!

Great fun. Exercise. The Outdoors. Camraderie. 

What more could a parent want for their child?

I give Heiwa no Mori Koen Field Athletic Course (平和の森公園 フィールドアスレチックコース) 5 stars for a great cheap place to take your children where they can spark their imagination with adventure and get a day out and some great exercise. It's fun, cheap and a wonderful memory!

NOTES:

1) Definitely take at least one pair of extra clothes and shoes in case your child falls into the water.

2) There are no restaurants or coffee shops nearby 

3) There are no shower facilities.

4) There is another park outside so if you want to have a birthday party there, you'll need to have the cake and pizza or sandwiches at the park outside the entrance of the athletic course.

5) I hear it gets crowded on weekends around lunchtime so I recommend getting there early!

6) If the course weren't crowded, then I expect that it should take an hour or two to complete depending on the age of your child.

Here's a great explanation and more detailed photos of entire course (in Japanese).

Heiwa no Mori Koen Field Athletic Course 

(平和の森公園 フィールドアスレチックコース) 

Address: 

Heiwa no Mori Koen 2-1

Ohta-ku, Tokyo

Te: 03-3766-1607

Business hours: 

Opens at 9:30 am (last entrance at 15:00) Closed at 16:00 

Closed on Mondays and bad weather days

Entrance fee: 

Children and Junior high school students: ¥100

Above high school and adults: ¥360 

Heiwa no Mori Koen Field Athletic Course URL (Sorry Japanese only): http://www.city.ota.tokyo.jp/shisetsu/sports/fieldathletics.html

Map: 

Tokyo Toy Museum - The Best Deal in Tokyo for a Day for Families with Small Children!

Today I took my son and his friends to the Tokyo Toy Museum in Yotsuya (near Yotsuya-sanchome station on the Marunochi Line) as there was a free seminar to play Foosball (table soccer) taught by professional table soccer players from the Japan team.


It was lots of fun and a great deal as it wound up being a full day of fun. The kids didn't want to leave!! 

I was quite surprised by the Tokyo Toy Museum as it just isn't a toy museum but it is a place filled with three floors of playrooms, museums, a store, classrooms and a romp room for very small children. Not only that, the entire museum used to be an elementary school so there is a wonderful outdoor play area with jungle gyms, swings, climbing bars and tons of other outdoor activities for kids to do!   


Entry fee was ¥1,000 for one adult and one child and that low price allowed one to stay and play all of the games and activities all day without any other catches! Where in Tokyo could you take your kids and allow them to run around and have fun and play games all day for ¥1,000? Nowhere excepting the Tokyo Toy Museum.


I think this is an awesome find in Tokyo for parents with kids up to about 10-years-old. It is just perfect if your children are between 4 ~ 9 years old. Not only are there countless things to do and play in the museum, there's also classrooms where teachers teach the kids and their moms and dads all sorts of crafts and how to make art and toys.

They have all sorts of events at the Tokyo Toy Museum. Today, professionals were teaching and playing table soccer for free to the kids!

The Tokyo Toy Museum's brochure says: "The fantastic world of toys awaits you inside this former school building! After closing of an old elementary school, the facility was reborn as the Tokyo Toy Museum. There are many ways to enjoy this unique museum. You may prefer to play with toys, join workshops, enjoy exhibitions, or just walk around. You will meet with toys, new friends and lots of wonders you have never seen! Tokyo Toy Museum is called the "Toy Communication Museum."

Look for this banner outside on the street

Tons of antique toys. I drooled over these old cars! There were lots of them too!

From the brochure: Tokyo Toy Museum enables you to experience various analogue toys. You may touch and play with them as you llke. In the old classrooms and hallways, where Japanese children once learned and played, a lot of fun toys are waiting for you! How you choose to enjoy is up to you. Analogue toys develop your ability of thought and invention.

Many rare old toys on display

From the brochure: Toys are not only for playing but for creating. In the room called Toy Factory, you will find many handmade toys on display. You can join a workshop and make your original toy. A toy conceived and created by you alone is very special; it is the only one in the world!

  

Two crafts and games classes were going on when I was there...

A "pull toy" from the 1950s

From the brochure: Communication is also an important theme of the Tokyo Toy Museum. You will meet our friendly museum attendants wearing red aprons who will guide you through the wonderful world of toys. Their task is to help you and share your excitement as you talk build and play together.

The Tokyo Toy Museum is operated by the Non-Profit Organization (NPO) Japan Good Toy Association. The facilities are the remains of the old Yotsuya Daiyon elementary school building, which was built in 1935.

The NPO's policy is to promote three things:

1) friendship among different generations

2) partnership in the social community

3) family communication

Lots of open space for kids to run around and play outside too!

Displays galore

And analogue toys from all over the world!

Tokyo Toy Museum

Yotsuya Hiroba, 4-20 Yotsuya, Sinjuku-ku,

Tokyo, Japan 160-0004

Tel: 03-5367-9601

Fax: 03-5367-9602

HP: www.goodtoy.org/ttm/

Hours: 10:00 - 16:00 (last admission at 15:30)

Closed Thursday

Tickets:

Adults: ¥700

Children: ¥500 (age 3 & above to junior high school)

Child + adult pair ticket: ¥1,000

Under 2: free

Group discounts available

Access: 7 minutes walk from Yotsuya-sanchome Station (Marunochi subway line), 8 minutes walk from Akebonobashi Station (Shinjuku subway line)

Oh, and here's a map:

Amazingly Enough, In Spite of Us Parents, Most Kids Turn Out Alright

I think it is safe to say that pretty much all parents worry about their children's future. Of course we worry about their health and safety, but I'm talking about something else; I'm talking about worrying about their future as in, "Can they get a job after getting out of school?" "Will they be productive members of society?" or, even worse, "Will they straighten out and stay out of jail?"

Some parents might laugh at that last one but I don't. I didn't. When my two older daughters were junior high school students, I seriously worried if they were ever going to straighten out and fly right. In fact, in my oldest daughters case, I was so worried that she'd lead a life of crime, wind up with no family and be homeless, that I didn't care if she married this Yakuza gangster guy she was hanging out with! I actually thought my daughter marrying a Yakuza was probably a good thing. Please refer to and article that I wrote six years ago entitled, "Yakuza: Japanese Modern-Day Cowboys"


My oldest daughter was seriously dating a Yakuza a while back. She still could be, I don't know. I hope she is. I wish she'd settle down with a nice, hard-working guy who makes a decent living. When my ex-wife found out that Diane (not her real name) was dating this Yakuza-guy, everyone on their side of the family freaked out. They called me and told me to do something. "Do something about what?" I asked. I was happy about my daughter dating a Yakuza. I mean, every family needs a doctor, a lawyer, and a gangster in it to keep the family together. What's the problem? Some readers may think I jest here, but I certainly do not.  

Awww. How cute! Who could have know that a few years later they'd be criminal monsters? Here we are celebrating 七五三 (Shichi-go-san) 7-5-3 children's day.

Seriously folks, these two seemingly honest and cute little girls had started growing up and heading for big trouble. 


By 12 years old, my oldest daughter had become "Gaki Taisho" (ガキ大将) "Boss of the kids" at school. By 14 years old, she was constantly in trouble and in danger of being expelled. By 15 she was constantly in trouble with the police and getting arrested for all sorts of dumb things like stealing motorcycles and whatever else wasn't bolted down.


I think when she just turned 17, she did something really bad (for the umpteenth time) and almost had to spend one year of her life in Juvenile Delinquency prison. This would have been a very bad outcome because, as statistics show, once in prison, a huge percentage of those spend the rest of their lives going in and out of prison so the police and court systems are hesitant to send young people into prison in the first place. Thank heaven for that! 


The second daughter, whom I had never imagined to be the terror the first one was, was also guilty of many crimes and, as a 15-year-old, actually the mastermind of a group of minors who were committing grand larceny. So bad were her and her friend's crime escapades that they drew the attention of the  Metropolitan police of Tokyo and, I'd find out later, that a three-month dragnet was set out to catch them. Oh and catch them they did! And, when they did, to my total and utter astonishment, it made the front pages of every major Japanese newspaper in the country!


Now, I'm all for thinking big and when I was 17, I was arrested and made the front pages of the newspaper, but that was only local. My daughter, at 15, made national news! (Kind of reminds me of Richard Branson's teacher telling him that he's, "Either going to prison or going to be a millionaire.")

Former crime syndicate leaders

What made the news so shocking was that this crime syndicate that had been busted by police sting was guilty of devising a brilliant plan whereby they stole in the neighborhood of over $10,000 a day, in broad daylight, right on video camera, and the police had no idea of what they looked like!!! (How's that for the creative mind of children?) 


The police thought they were out to catch old time Yakuza gangsters who had come out with this brilliant plot. But the police were dumbfounded when they arrested the perpetraitors of this devious deal and they were all 15 & 16-year-old girls!


Yeah. 15 & 16-year-old girls with their Hello Kitty bags and designer clothes and stuff. Real desperadoes!


I couldn't believe it either. I think I started off on a three day drunk when this news broke. Thank god my wife handled all of this for me. I was too much of a wreck to do anything...

What I looked like (and felt like) in those days

I wonder if these two girls didn't do these things to make me pay more attention to them? That could be the case. Come to think of it, I was too busy working and too busy being a doofus to be too much of a good father. I blame myself for these incidences. I wrote about these regrets once. I summed all this up in, A Message For Fathers: Most Men Die With Regrets

I have four children. Julie and Sheena were born to my first wife. That wife and I divorced after seven years of marriage and I raised those two girls by myself. I remarried three years later and Wendy was born. When Wendy (17) got sick as a baby and then recovered from cancer, she wasn't able to live with her sisters for at least 6 years due to chemo-therapy treatments so her mother and I divorced and Wendy went away to live with her mother. 

I remarried again for the third time and Wray (8) was born.

Julie and Sheena often had trouble at school and sometimes with the police when they were teenagers. I regret that I didn't spend enough time with them, but with trying to pay to raise them, I didn't have the time I needed. I hired several nannies and they raised them. One nanny was the main one, but she wasn't full-time. I will always regret that I missed their childhood and didn't spend the time with them that I should have.

Yes. I didn't spend the time with them that I should have. That time is now gone. I wish I had paid more attention when they were school kids. But, I think, as the public education system falters in the USA and Japan, I could be a symptom of one of the reasons: Today's parent does not spend enough time with their kids and expects the school and the teachers to raise those kids and teach them in the parent's place. This, folks, doesn't work well and I think we have 40 years of history to prove it.


My I get slightly off the subject for a moment?

The other day, I had a nice exchange with a friend, Andrew, who runs the It's a Wonderful Rife blog. Andrew was a professional teacher in Japan and writes some very interesting stories about his life here. Andrew has asked me why the teacher's in Japan take such a strong parental role in raising the children and why they are reluctant to notify the parents of trouble. He asked me "Mike, are the parents are ever notified of wrongdoings by the children?" 

I responded: 

"Andrew, nowadays I think, the school's are ever reluctant to tell the parents about the hell the kids are raising because of how many useless and incompetent parents we have running around "raising" kids ... My wife was just telling me this morning about a father who was unhappy with some sort of discipline his son's school meted out to his son. So unhappy was this father that he decided to show some parental guidance and express his displeasure by going to the school at night and setting it on fire. Well, as "Mr. Firemountian" (火山) was trying to light the school on fire, someone saw him and he got his butt arrested. Funny that."

I continued; 

"Let me tell you about my girls when they were 14 or so... Terrors, they were. They'd do all sorts of things, pranks, hijinks, felonies... Yes. You read that last one right. I'd get calls from the school... Other times I'd get calls from the police. The oldest daughter got arrested for something and then was put of "juvenile delinquent" parole for a year where she had to appear before a parole officer once a week otherwise she'd have to sit in jail. I was such a useless father that at one time, these calls from the school, the police, and being summoned by both, got to be so much that I finally told both the school and the cops, "Don't call me anymore!" I also told my daughters, "Look, do what you want. Just don't have the police or the principal calling me anymore, alright?" Oh the memories!"

By the way, this little episode shows the troubles the schools and police have with parents. I didn't think I was a bad parent (I realize that I was a terrible one now) but the school and the police (juvenile division) are actually reformers and are trying their best to keep the kids out of future trouble. They are trying to connect with the parents and communicate so that they can work together to keep the kids out of trouble and from falling in with the wrong people. What are they to do when the the kids aren't nearly as screwed up as the parents?


Is it any wonder that the kids are screwed up when they have parents who are people like me?

Let me tell you about another vignette about another girl who was my oldest daughter's friend when they were both 14 years old or so. One day, this girl, I think her name was Yuko, came over to visit. She stayed over night at our home a few nights. I would find out later that she was arrested by the police, put in handcuffs, and taken to the big Shibuya police station. What she was arrested for I never found out.

Shibuya Police Station. Seat of Government power and incompetence.

Anyway, this Shibuya police station is one of the biggest police stations in all of Tokyo. Get this: While she was sitting in handcuffs on the forth floor of this huge police station, with cops crawling around everywhere, this 14-year-old desperado escaped! No kidding! She told me that, when no one was looking,  she just got up and walked into the women's restroom and then walked out of the building like nothing happened. When she told me this, I just couldn't believe it. How incompetent could those dumb police be? 


I never did find out how she got the handcuffs off either but knowing my oldest daughter, that wouldn't be a problem in the world.



As she and my daughter were telling me all this stuff my eyes grew wider. Look, I wasn't an angel when I was a kid either and had been arrested a few times before myself (pranks and raising hell) so what these kids were doing didn't really surprise me. But when she and my daughter told me that Yuko was making good money collecting $400 a pop being a prostitute for businessmen coming up from Osaka, I hit the roof. They told me that Yuko had to go right then and meet this guy for a business transaction. I said, "No!"



I told her to stay there and got a hold of her dad and what a mistake that was! This father was even more useless than me! He didn't care about his 14 year old daughter prostituting herself at all. All he cared about was if she was going to join a motorcycle gang with my daughter or not!!!! Really!



I wanted to slap him. These two girls had drawn pictures in their junior high school class notebooks that showed pink colored 50cc motor scooters and called it something stupid like, "Pink Dragons" and this terrified Yuko's father. "Order them to not make a bike gang!" the father pleaded! 

Yeah. Really scary stuff

What a poor excuse for a dad. And I thought I was bad. The drawings of the "Pink Dragons" motorcycle gang looked vicious and deadly. Yeah. Real deadly. It all looked like something "cute" you'd see in a Japanese comic book like Sailor Moon would have as her evil twin sister; they even had their own colors and cool pink matching jackets and pants and everything!



And this father was worried about their comic book fantasies more than the sick fantasies some pervert was going to have with his child. Get that? HIS OWN CHILD I wanted to strangle him. WHAT PLANET WAS HE LIVING ON? 



Moron! I hope Yuko has turned out okay. Maybe she met a nice guy and got married and, at 21, has three kids, a husband who drinks too much and works very hard in a blue collar job like construction or driving a truck. The typical Japanese blue collar family; they don't have a lot, but they have each other and that's enough. I do wish that she is happy.  



But back to my girls... The few escapades I've described above (and those are just a few) were a long time ago and luckily for me (and my daughters) they straightened out and now have good jobs where they are doing what they like to do... In spite of my poor parenting. The oldest is a professional jazz singer who is signed to one of the most famous agencies in all of Japan and will have her album debut this year and the second one is pursuing her dream to be a world-class lighting director and is now gainfully employed at the most famous concert/dance/event hall in Tokyo. 



As for other kids who had troubles before: Several years ago, I hosted a very popular morning drive time FM radio show in Tokyo and we'd often have events whereby I could meet the listeners and the fans. Sometimes hundreds of them would attend these get-togethers. We became friends. Many of them told me of their own youth; some of them were trouble-makers; in trouble with school and the law. Some of them had spent time in jail. But many of them told me that, one day, they realized on their own that they had to straighten out and stay out of trouble because daddy and mommy aren't going to be there forever to help them. Now, these folks have jobs and families and people (big and little) who depend on them and love them very much.



It is the way it should be.



So parents, I think the times comes for all of us to worry about our kids. But fear not! Be patient and try to understand. I always try to remember the crazy stuff I did when I was young.



It seems, no matter how much we, as parents screwup our kids, it seems to me that, in most cases, somehow they are able to judge what is right and turn their lives out for the best.


If your kids are in school now and get into some sort of trouble; instead of you, the parent, telling them that they need to pay more attention, perhaps you, the parent, should pay more attention to them. 


It couldn't hurt. 



Make sure that your kids know that you love them and care.... If they are having troubles at school or elsewhere, find comfort in the fact that these things usually pass. Try not to be a negative part of this experience.


 

Star Wars and Earth Wars: Robots, Droids, Drones and People

"I'm C3PO human cyborg relationship and this is my counterpart R2-D2" - C3PO to Luke

Robots? I love them.


Droids? Excellent!


Drones? Not so much. I don't really like them. 


Don't confuse robots, droids and drones. They are all very different. I like the kind of droids you'd see in a Star Wars movie like R2D2 or C3PO. It's drones that I don't like... Besides metallic casings, I might be talking about the kind of drones many people might refer to as "suits."


Actually, in this case, it could even be worse than "suits." At least the "suits" are usually people with what is at least referred to as a "higher education." Chuckle. I mean, they paid big money and got themselves into major debt by avoiding reality after high school by going to college. You know what I mean? College and university are great places to screw around and waste time while you figure out what you want to do with your life and postpone the inevitable as long as possible.

In all fairness, and for the sake of complete disclosure, let me state openly that I did go to university and waste, not four, but six years. But let me also say that I was lucky and, upon graduation, I wasn't even one cent in debt. I worked my way through college.... Hell, it was better than studying! I wrote about how John Belushi convinced me to go to university once. Please refer to: John Belushi, Japan and me - or How the Movie Animal House Changed my Life


But I digress....


I'm talking about Robots, Droids and Drones.


Japan is way, way, way ahead of the United States when it comes to this sort of thing. You can go into Tokyo, say Shinjuku, Shibuya or Akihabara - especially Akihabara - and see robots, droids and drones everywhere you look. In Japan, these things are not unusual so people don't bat an eye.


Don't believe me? It's absolutely true, so help me god. Let me explain. First, I suppose we have to clarify our definitions.

Robot: "A device that automatically performs tasks, sometime repetitively." "A mechanism guided by automatic controls." "A fictional machine whose lack for the capacity of human emotions is often emphasized."


Droid (exactly: Android): "A mobile robot with usually a human form." "A Linux based operating system for cell phones and computers."


Drone: "A stingless male bee that has the role of mating with the queen. It does not work by gathering nectar or pollen." "One that lives on the labor of others." "A vessel guided by remote control."

Drones do stupid things like get hacked or shot down. 

Just lifeless shells is all they really are.

Aha! Got that about drones? They are "vessels guided by remote control." Keep that in mind. That's really what this article is about. I will get onto that in a minute, but first let me continue my train of thought...


Now we're ready? Okay! 


Like I said, Japan is way ahead of the United States (and I include Europe in that too) when it comes to this sort of "mechanical thingy" thing. Need evidence? Let's examine!

Early American toaster (left) - Modern Japanese toaster (right)

Robots. Of course, in every one's house there are many robots that perform simple tasks. My favorite home robot is the kitchen toaster. The toaster was invented in the 1870's in England, but much refined by the Japanese in the 1960's. The friendly kitchen toaster is my favorite robot because it is cheap and can provide much more entertainment on a cold winter night than any TV program on the lobotomy box ever could! Toast? Ummmm! Which would you rather have to warm you up with that hot sexy someone under the blankets on the sofa? A hot piece of buttered toast and fresh strawberry jam that can be munched together or 30 minutes of Dog the Bounty Hunter reruns? Not a difficult call to make, is it?

Interestingly, both "Toast" and "Dog" have roughly the same IQ 

In Tokyo, robots are everywhere and they are fashionable and stylish... In the stylish area, we also have much gratitude to give to the French and the Italians who are excellent at making things that look fabulous, but don't work so well and break down quickly.


Some examples of French and Italian things that look nice but don't work are the Maginot Line, Alitalia, and Fiat automobiles.

Fiat getting well over 100 kilometers per liter of gasoline!

If you really think about it, robots are not such a big deal anymore. Like I mentioned about toasters. What home doesn't have a toaster today?


Now, let's look at androids (we'll call them droids). Android phones are everywhere in Tokyo. In fact, recently, I think I've been seeing more of those than iPhones recently. If the definition of a Droid (above) is correct then, we even have one in my home. It's called a "iRobot Roomba." Okay, well I take that back. Actually, I think it is not called a "Roomba." Roomba is the famous one. Those are very expensive. We bought a Korean made model (forget the name) that does the same thing for half the cost. This automatic vacuuming droid is just like R2D2. Really! He does a good job for certain tasks but can be awful stubborn and does dumb things sometimes like falling down the stairs, so you have to be careful with his programming on where you specify are his work areas. I like the fact that he can vacuum the carpeted floor, then go to the tatami floor, then over to the wooden floor and all under the dining tables and chairs without my wife lifting a finger. Pretty cool.

This android was unveiled in 2005... 

I often wondered what year she'll be "deflowered" in?

It is also awesomely cool in that the fact, get this, the guy himself (sorry about calling it a "he" - my wife insists that the "butler do the vacuuming"), when done, automatically searches and finds his home station and parks himself there after the job is done so his batteries can be recharged... He also beeps and pings like R2D2. Really!


In Tokyo, we also have robots and droids that make ice cream, sushi, and manufacturers cars and work on assembly lines too. Of course.

Yeah, yeah. He vacuums and does everything. But if I ever catch him in bed with my wife, out he goes! Unless, of course, he can introduce me to one of his android friends. 

Wow! Isn't life in the modern world wonderful? Well, yes and no. If you are a robot or droid and have a useful function to fulfill, then you are probably happy until the days that your circuits burn out. If you are a human and you have a good job with a good future, and a nice family, a place to live, then you are probably happy.... But if you are a drone? Oh no! If you are a drone, then you are nothing; you are just a shell, you have no life; you are the lowest of the low; even robots and droids don't respect you. 


And, if you are a human drone?


Human drones? Now, that's the worst thing in the world.


Folks, we have human drones. In fact, if you think about it, they are all around us: These are the people who can't think for themselves. They have be told what to do and what to think. They cannot function without someone showing them the way and telling them exactly what to do. The worst ones are the ones who need to be repeatedly told (programmed) to perform a function before they will do it - even if it is the very same function everyday! They have human drones in America and they have them in Japan. Are they the same? In many ways, yes, but in many ways, no.

To go too deeply into the subject of human drones and the difference between one in Japan and the west, would take volumes of books written by someone with a PhD. who is much more intelligent than me. I can only write about surface issues that I witness with my own eyes. I do not know the deeper issues; the "why's" and "what for." And I don't want to talk about human drones in the USA. Let me off the hook easy by allowing me to only tell you about human drones in Japan.


Human drones are everywhere in this country. Poor folks.... No! I take that back. Maybe they aren't folks to be pitied; maybe they are to be envied. Heck, if they are happy, then I envy them... Thing is that I have never seen a happy drone. 


In Japan, these human drones work at menial labor jobs everywhere you go. You see them at restaurants and working at cash registers. They are the ones doing the lowest of the menial labor tasks. Since Japan doesn't have a problem with an influx of foreign laborers, then, you will see Japanese young people performing these tasks.


I suppose that, if I am to pity these human drones, then I must criticize the Japanese educational system and Japanese society as a whole for teaching too much conformity and not enough creativity... But I am hesitant to do that and criticize Japan for too much conformity. Why? Well, what example am I to hold over Japan to say, "See? This is how it's done!" I think I certainly cannot use the example of the social decline and the resultant level of crime in the west as and yard of measure. I do believe, though, that the Japanese educational system is guilty of not teaching enough critical thought and too much conformity... I can say that because I had children who spent a few years in both Japanese public schooling and in International schools in Japan and high school in America.    


Oh pity the human drones... Well, at least they have a job.


Now, parents of high school kids or young people just out on their first jobs, don't confuse what I am saying here. I am not saying that everyone who cleans tables or stands behind a cash register or works at a convenience store is a drone. Far from it. I'm saying the ones who do not smile, are not energetic, do not think for themselves and must do everything by the manual; the ones who show no life in their faces; no enthusiasm for their work those are drones. They are the ones to be pitied.


There are far too many of them in Japan.


Now, do you understand what I mean by a human drone? They could be the guy working at a bank or a bureaucrat like in the Kurosawa movie, "Ikiru." Or it could be like the people you see when you go shopping or to a cheap restaurant. There they are: lifeless, the walking dead. Those are the people who should be pitied.


Well, now, there I've done it. I think I took what was a fun and full of life article at the start and turned it into a real bummer by the ending. Sorry about that. So with that, let me tell you about a story that I heard from a friend last night about his recent experience with a human drone at a cheap eatery.


In Japan, whenever two or three (more?) adults go into any sort of cheap eatery or restaurant, when the patrons are finished and about to pay the bill, it is customary that the clerk will ask them, "Will you pay the bill together or separately?" In Japan, asking this to customers is a "rule." This rule is a part of what is called, "Manual Dori" or "By the Book" (マニュアル通り).  The reason why Japanese companies (and companies like McDonald's, etc.) have to create these "Manuals" is that they aren't really hiring rocket scientists. No, folks, they are hiring, in many cases, human drones - of course they wouldn't if they could find spry, alert, and gregarious, positive outgoing people - alas...

Anyway, back to my story about my friend's experience with the human drone. My friend is the father of two handsome young boys who are of junior high school age, about 13 and 14 years of age. Together, the three of them went to eat at Yoshinoya Gyudon. Gyudon is known in the west as "Beef bowl." It is a bowl of rice that has beef and vegetables cooked in a sauce that is poured over the rice. Many Japanese men (and some women) on the go love to eat this. I used to also until I just about stopped eating beef.


Upon finishing their food, the father and the two boys walked up to the cash register where they met their human drone for that day.


Now, if you were at the cash register and saw a guy in his late forties, maybe early fifties, with two boys half his size that looked to be junior high school students, deeply immersed in their held held DS computer games, what would you think? Do you think:


A) "Gee! This looks like a dad with his two kids. That'l be $9.00, please. Do you need a receipt?"
B) "I wonder if these three gentlemen are all gainfully employed or are they Yakuza gangsters about to rob the restaurant at gunpoint?"
C) "I wonder when the new DS game software comes out?"
D) Nothing. Absolutely nothing. You don't have a single synapse. You repeat the manual like a drone.


If you said, "D" then you are a winner.


My friend is standing there, with his wallet open. The two kids next to him are playing Super Mario and the clerk says, "Will you pay the bill together or separately?" Doh!


Parents! Don't let your children grow up to be drones. Why? Well, if they are drones, one of these days someone is going to come out with a useful robot, like a toaster and your kid will be out of a job. Don't they deserve better than that? I hope so.