"Tell me another one of your conspiracy theories, Mike!" Jason laughed, his french fry grease-laden fingers shoveling piles of chips in his mouth. He dove headlong into and snorkeled his beer... "You always have the best ones!" He chortled. Just a moment before he had asked me why the FM radio stations in Tokyo all suck and why there were only a few of them in such a big city.
I told him that it was a long story and a conspiracy with military implications.
"Yeah, right!" He burst out laughing...
Feeling a bit perturbed by his insolence, I reminded him that even the US government admitted in 1978 that the JFK assassination was a conspiracy; that I was telling people as far back in 2002 that Global Warming was a scam - and I said that publicly on the air on my radio program! I also said the same about SARS, Bird Flu, Swine Flu, etc. etc...
Jason just continued to laugh.
He immediately stopped laughing and beer shot out his mouth and nose when I reminded him that I told him not to buy Groupon shares back when everyone said Groupon was the best thing since toilet paper (which is the direction that the value of their shares are hurtling towards at this very moment)... That one "fun fact" shut Jason up immediately. I know he lost his ass on that buy and he knows that I will never let him forget it. His head hunched over and he furrowed his brow then stared at the rim of his beer in dismayed silence.
Like the Bismarck losing a rudder and going down, that comment completely sank his mockery and his frivolous mood.... He wasn't laughing anymore... Jason took a big gulp of beer. He stared off into space for a moment again and then said, "OK... What have you got this time?...."
I went into the story...
I'd take her home in a second!.. The radio, I mean. Not the girl.
My wife wouldn't let me keep the girl... Seriously, though,
about 95% of all Japanese under 35 years don't even own a radio!
"Jason, in the metropolitan area of the capitol city of Japan, Tokyo, there are over 35 million homes. This metropolitan area accounts for 51% of Japan's total GDP... So it comes as a great surprise to many visitors to Tokyo to tune into any radio and find the dial sparsely populated with any signs of life.
What I mean to say is that besides incredibly boring and staid FM radio stations, there are just a handful of them - 5 commercial stations to be exact! Compare that to a city like Los Angeles which has a population of under 4 million people - about 1/10th the population of Tokyo - yet has, by last count, over 59 FM stations; over ten times the number of stations that Tokyo suffers!"
"Yeah. I know this. FM radio in Tokyo sucks. Are you saying they are all in some sort of 'sucking conspiracy'?" Jason asked.
"No. Just shut up and listen," I added. "This is a complicated story and is worth an entire book by itself.... But since both you and I are drinking, I'm just going to touch on the main points and you think about what this implies by yourself.... The reason why Japan in general only had 5 major terrestrial television stations (in a country with half the population of the United States) and why there are so few TV and radio stations in general has to do with the Cold War and the military-industrial complex as well as incredible Japanese government incompetence!"
Jason chuckled knowingly about the incompetence part, yet said nothing.... He rolled his eyes, took a sip of beer and motioned for me to continue...
Digital TV proto-type
"Let's go back even one year, Jason, before all the TV stations went digital. At that time there were only 5 commercial TV stations in the Tokyo area that were accessible by most people. There were only 5 commercial FM stations.... Why was it, do you suppose, with all this available band-width that the Japanese government never allowed more TV or FM stations (or AM stations, for that matter) to be made? I'll tell you why; it was a conspiracy of the military industrial complex....
Here's pieces of the puzzle. Now I'll tell you what I saw, then you tell me what you think happened.... I'll definitely tell you what I think happened after putting 'two and two' together!
In 1984, I moved to Japan. I needed a job so I got one teaching English. One assignment I had was teaching English to a bunch of engineers at an organization called NASDA (today called NAXA). NASDA was Japan's own version of NASA - you know, the people who waste gazillions of taxpayer dollars sending golf carts into space? Yeah. I taught those guys English. I even had security clearance. Not very high security clearance, mind you, but I could walk around the hallways with my handy neck strap and people wouldn't hassle me... So I was a sort of a 'regular' there. This next part is very important: NASDA was founded in 1969. This is critical information to this scandal....Don't forget that NASDA was founded in 1969!!!...
Anyway, I taught these "rocket scientists" English for a few years or so... The mere fact that I taught "rocket scientists" English proves that they don't know what the f*ck they were doing! Hell, I didn't even have a teaching license!
NASDA founded in 1969!?... Wait a minute!!? Man supposedly landed on
the moon that same year! Hey! Haven't I seen this toy on TV before...
After a while teaching these guys, they became buddies of mine. Sometimes we went drinking together. One time they told me that they were so excited about a new project. So happy about it were they, that they showed it to me in person a few days later; it was Japan's first ever rocket. They were getting ready to launch this thing into space (or the air, or to where ever they could get it to go). They were so excited about it that it reminded me of my youth and how we gleefully launched model rockets a few hundred feet into the air from our backyards. They clucked with delight to show me this "huge" project....
On the other hand, I was so surprised when I saw the "rocket." I thought I was going to see something like we saw on TV of Apollo launches; you know, massive structures like rockets standing 100 or 150 meters tall into the sky... Taller than a building... But what I saw really did look like a big version of the toy model rockets that we launched when we were kids... The thing looked like it was at the most 16 feet tall and there was no way any sort of animal could ride in it - excepting maybe a mouse (and that would be considering that it were so narrow in the cockpit that he wouldn't have enough space to even change his mind!)..... The engineers told me that their mission was to send rockets into space with satellites to circle the globe....
I laughed at the absurdity of this nonsense and wondered why Japan was wasting tens, nay hundreds, of millions of dollars on this toy rocket nonsense...
It wouldn't strike me as a conspiracy for nearly a decade later...
No... Don't look to the left!!! Those are not props and walls on the left side!!!..
Nothing to see here, folks.... Move along... Move along...
Fast forward to about 1990 or 1991 or so...
Incredibly, somehow NASDA was able to launch this toy rocket and, by the early nineties, had grown their technology (no doubt a big thanks to NASA) and announced to the world that Japan was preparing to join the space race by sending up their very own communications satellite.
Now, of course, Japan has to call this satellite a "communications satellite" because Japan's constitution forbids her from having any military. They could never say, "Spy satellite." But what do "communications" satellites do? The pick up on and bounce around communications.... It's not rocket science (pardon the pun) to figure out that a 'communications satellite' can also spy on people and countries....
I believe in order to counter any claims against this... The government opened up 1/2 of the satellite for commercial broadcasting... It was never announced, of course, what other functions of the satellite were for obvious reasons....
The folks at the Japanese government proudly announced to the Japanese people that they were finally opening up the airwaves and were offering channels to companies who wanted their own TV and radio stations! Finally! Freedom of choice! "Our very own broadcasting station!" thought many big Japanese corporations who had asked the Japanese government for a broadcasting license for many years past only to be denied each time...
With that news, many big corporations lined up for the chance to get a broadcasting license... They salivated at the chance! Finally, they could have what they've wanted since the beginning of the Japanese economic miracle of the sixties through the eighties: their very own station to broadcast as they wish and to better their sales and businesses.... It was a dream come true!
Or was it?
"So Ziggymoto! Perhaps you laughed too soon, eh?"
Of course, as I said, it seemed obvious to me, and a lot of other people at that time, that this satellite also served the purpose of spying on North Korea and China... Of course, though, the governments of Japan and the United States would never want to spy on North Korea or China, right? We're the good guys....
Anyway, many stations started up at that time on this satellite named CS Baan; those were both digital radio stations (I worked at one owned by Kadokawa publishing - one of the biggest publishing companies in Japan - called Radio Zipang) and many other TV stations. I don't recall the exact number, but it seems to me that there were a few hundred of these stations....
The biggest catch with this entire satellite broadcasting extravaganza that caught everyone by surprise (sort of) was that, while having a station to broadcast as you wish is wonderful, it doesn't mean anything if no one sees it or hears it. Sort of like the old question, "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?"
The price for tuning into one of these stations was extremely expensive. One needed a satellite dish hooked up to their balcony as well as a tuner. The entire set plus installation - at that time - ran anywhere from ¥150,000 ~ ¥300,000 per unit (about $1,800 ~ $3,600 USD)... Throw on top of that the extra monthly fee the stations charged for subscriptions, and you had companies asking people to fork over several thousands of dollars to watch or listen to the same type of sh*tty music or TV programs that the 4 or 5 free stations were airing....
Several thousands of dollars for crappy TV and radio? A tad bit of a problem.... So, needless to say, there were very few people who had bought the satellite tuner so that they could tune into this stuff.... In fact, I can't say that I knew of anyone who bought or owned one and I even worked at those stations...
Soon, of course, a bunch of these stations started going bankrupt... Radio Zipang did and I don't recall that it survived even one year in the broadcasting business.
Imagine that if you were Kadokawa, the owner of Zipang. You just forked over millions of dollars for a broadcasting license to the Japanese government for a broadcasting license on a station that no one can listen to and now your station goes bankrupt.... I think you'd be a little bit pissed off. I think your lawyers might be considering some way to sue someone in court (like the Japanese government) for misleading you and pulling a 'Bait and switch' on your dreams of having a proper broadcasting station. That's a very important point! This is critical information to this scandal....Don't forget that it is quite conceivable that many of these corporations lost millions and would consider suing the Japanese government in court. I know I would. Wouldn't you?
By this time, I was already alert to what was going on. Think about it; there's no way one can just decide today that they're going to launch a 'communications satellite' or rocket and get it done in a few weeks or even months... It takes years...decades of planning and testing...
Don't forget that NASDA was founded in 1969... What would be the purpose of founding a space agency? To launch sh*t into the air, right? I propose to you, Jason (and dear reader) That the Japanese government knew well before 1969 - most probably since the late 1950s - that they wanted to launch this satellite (that, of course, has military spy capabilities) and that they needed to do two things to cover their incompetent asses:
1) They wanted to get Japanese corporations to help cover the costs of building and launching this contraption by buying a broadcasting license (sneaky plan "a").
2) By also doing 1) (above) they could deflect criticism over the possible military uses of a satellite as this is obviously a violation of Article 9 of the Japanese constitution renouncing the establishment of a military or military capabilities (sneaky plan "b").
Japan's original plan to protect the peace
As an aside, one of the guys working for my company had a TV show on MTV Japan. MTV Japan was a channel on this silly satellite. They were losing millions. One day I was at that station and the Vice President of the entire company (a totally crazy woman named Rebecca) asked me,
"How can we get a channel on a regular VHF TV station?"
That's easy," I answered, "Sue the Japanese government in court." She looked at me as if I were nuts. No, she's the nutty one. I'm the one who knows what he's talking about.
As I spoke, finally, Jason's eyes grew large. He looked at me and said something along the lines of the government of Japan being a total and complete clusterf*ck with conspiracies and incompetence galore....
Of course he is right.
"Get it, Jason?" I added. "Now think about it.... All these years, all these companies wanted a broadcasting license but the Japanese government denied them, not because there wasn't any space on the dial, but because they planned on launching a satellite! A satellite that had some military and spy purposes. Then, when they get ready to launch the satellite, they go back to the companies and say, "Remember when you asked for a broadcasting license? Well, we got it for you now!" Those companies cough up millions to the government. Ka-ching!
Then they launch the satellite and, soon after, all these channels go bankrupt and even today the few remaining ones are all losing millions of dollars annually so, today, the Japanese government just can't grant new licenses on free terrestrial channels because if they do they might get sued in court... By any of the other companies who lost money in the past because those companies will ask why they weren't given the free channels instead?
Example: Company A, that lost 50 million dollars on their satellite broadcasting station (as well as another dozens and dozens of others), might sue the government if said government allocates a free channel to a different company. Get it? The companies that lost money might sue the government if the government gave away any new licenses! Hence! No new stations! And today only 5 FM stations in Tokyo!
Now, it doesn't matter for TV anymore as the remaining TV stations all went digital and three of them are about to go bankrupt. It doesn't really matter for radio anymore either as no one listens to radio. The Internet has come along and every company now has an Internet website to do with as they wish... No government interference... And, with the Internet, NO COMPANY EVEN WANTS A BROADCASTING LICENSE IN JAPAN ANYMORE - THE GOVERNMENT COULDN'T GIVE THEM AWAY!!!
So now you know why there are only 5 FM stations in Tokyo... You may think this is a conspiracy, but, in a way, it was at one time, but now it's just one more piece of evidence on how incompetent and F'ed up the government is....
The government had ulterior motives (wanting to launch a satellite) in not allowing broadcasting licenses... Then they sold the licenses to takers. Then those companies went bankrupt. Then the government was afraid to give out licenses to other companies because they might get sued by the companies that lost money. Now? The internet has come along and no one even wants a license and all the rest of the remaining stations are all losing money... The government probably couldn't give away broadcasting licenses today for free!
What happened? A conspiracy? In the past... Yes. Ultimately, the end result? A government interfering with business; ignoring the constitution; back scratching and big money payola; and that same government doing whatever it can to cover their a*ses for decades and wasting hundreds of millions of dollars in taxpayers and corporate tax money... On what?
An obsolete broadcasting business that is in the red across the board that no one watches or even cares about and a satellite that is only good for spying on North Korean missiles that don't work.
Nah, that couldn't be a conspiracy... It's just plain a government f*ck up... That's MUCH more believable.
Thanks to David Scott, John Shippen and the guys at NASDA
